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How To Help Your Hurting Friend How To Help Your Hurting Friend

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  • Author: Susie Snellenberger
  • Size: 1.52MB | 239 pages
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About the Book


"How To Help Your Hurting Friend" by Susie Snellenberger offers practical advice and guidance on how to support a friend who is going through a difficult time. The book provides tips on how to listen effectively, offer comfort and encouragement, and help your friend navigate their emotions. It emphasizes the importance of being present, showing empathy, and offering practical assistance to those in need.

William Still

William Still I recently read Dying to Live (Christian Focus, 1991), the autobiography of Scottish pastor William Still. I became interested in Still after reading his book The Work of the Pastor earlier this year. The first half of Dying to Live tells about Still’s early years into young adulthood and his beginning in pastoral ministry. Still had an unsettled childhood. His parents were separated in his early years, and his father was an alcoholic. He was a sickly child who took refuge in music and became an accomplished pianist. He was part of the Salvation Army as a young man but then entered ministry in the Church of Scotland and served at the Gilcomston Church in his hometown of Aberdeen from 1945-1997. The second half of the book deals with various aspects of Still’s pastoral ministry. Still was an evangelical. In his early ministry he worked with Billy Graham, Alan Redpath, and others in evangelistic events. With time, however, he moved away from what he came to call “evangelisticism” to develop a solid expositional ministry. Still faced his fair share of hardships during the course of his ministry. When he moved away from pragmatic evangelistic methods, for example, more than two hundred people stopped attending his church almost overnight. In the preface, he references Martin Luther’s observation that there are three things which make a minister: study, prayer, and afflictions. He observes, “He who is not prepared to make enemies for Christ’s sake by the faithful preaching of the Word will never make lasting friends for Christ, either” (p. 93). He describes one particularly difficult controversy early in his ministry when he confronted a group of disgruntled elders. At the end of one Sunday service, he read a statement confronting these men, which ended, “There you sit, with your heads down, guilty men. What would you say if I named you before the whole congregation? You stand condemned before God for your contempt of the Word and of his folk.” He adds, “The moment I had finished, I walked out of the pulpit. There was no last hymn—no benediction. I went right home. It was the hardest and most shocking thing I ever had to do in Gilcomston” (p. 124). That same week seven of his elders resigned and Still was called twice before his Presbytery to answer for the controversy. Yet, he endured. Still maintains that in light of the unpleasantness one will face in the ministry that the minister of the Word must possess one quality in particular: “…I would say that this quality is courage: guts, sheer lion-hearted bravery, clarity of mind and purpose, grit. Weaklings are no use here. They have a place in the economy of God if they are not deliberate weaklings and stunted adults as Paul writes of both to the Romans and to the Corinthians. But weaklings are no use to go out and speak prophetically to men from God and declare with all compassion, as well as with faithfulness, the truth: the divine Word that cuts across all men’s worldly plans for their lives” (p. 140). Still was a pioneer in several areas. First, he developed a pattern of preaching and teaching systematically through books of the Bible at a time when this was rarely done. He began a ministry of “consecutive Bible teaching” starting with the book of Galatians in 1947, calling this transition from “evangelisticism to systematic exposition … probably the most significant decision in my life” (p. 191). He was also a pioneer in simplifying and integrating the ministry of the church. After noting how youth in the church were drifting away, even after extensive involvement in the church’s children’s ministry, Still writes, “I conceived the idea of ceasing all Sunday School after beginners and Primary age (seven years) and invited parents to have their children sit with them in the family pew from the age of eight” (p. 171). He laments “the disastrous dispersion of congregations by the common practice of segregating the church family into every conceivable category of division of ages, sexes, etc.” (p. 173). Dying to Live is a helpful and encouraging work about the life and work of the minister and is to be commended to all engaged in the call of gospel ministry. As the title indicates, Still’s essential thesis is that in order to be effective in ministry the minister must suffer a series of deaths to himself (cf. John 12:24). On this he writes: The deaths one dies before ministry can be of long duration—it can be hours and days before we minister, before the resurrection experience of anointed preaching. And then there is another death afterwards, sometimes worse than the death before. From the moment that you stand there dead in Christ and dead to everything you are and have and ever shall be and have, every breath you breathe thereafter, every thought you think, every word you say and deed you do, must be done over the top of your own corpse or reaching over it in your preaching to others. Then it can only be Jesus that comes over and no one else. And I believe that every preacher must bear the mark of that death. Your life must be signed by the Cross, not just Christ’s cross (and there is really no other) but your cross in his Cross, your particular and unique cross that no one ever died—the cross that no one ever could die but you and you alone: your death in Christ’s death (p. 136).

How Could We Be Silent

Much to my surprise, I became a Christian as a teenager. But when I did, I was quite determined to be a secret Christian. This was partly because, to be honest, I didn’t like most of the Christians I knew. But it was also partly because, living in a very post-Christian Scotland, I wasn’t sure I could bear the social stigma. Then one day the small group of Christians at my local school found me out. And they asked if I would be willing to speak on their behalf in a debate which involved an atheist, an agnostic, a liberal Christian, and an evangelical Christian (I was to fill that last slot). With some reluctance, I agreed. After the debate, the head of the English department came up to me, shook my hand, and said, “Congratulations, young man. That is the finest performance I have ever heard you give. You almost had me persuaded that you really were a Christian.” I replied, “Sir, I am. And that is the last time anyone will say that to me!” From then on, I have tried to live my faith openly, speaking up for Christ as boldly and graciously as God enables me to, and praying he’d give me the wisdom to say a word in season for the weary, the lost, the enemy, and the seeker. Speak Up What do I mean by speaking up? Some associate it with big public protests or demonstrations. But that is not what I’m talking about here. Did Paul, Barnabas, and Luke join forces with Lydia, Priscilla, and Aquila to organize demonstrations and marches in Greek cities to protest idolatry and the emperor cult? Sometimes when we hear the exhortation that Christians should be speaking up, that’s the image we have in mind: political action, media pressure, demonstrations, and protests. But that’s not what the New Testament church did. And in an increasingly hostile and anti-Christian West, it’s not normally what we should do either. Now, of course, there’s a place for Christians to use media and other public forums to prophetically speak truth to power in our degenerate cultures, and a few of us are called to do this. But most of us aren’t called to address the masses or the power elites, but to speak up for Jesus, proclaim his word, declare his glory, advocate for his people, and defend the poor right where we are, in the spheres of influence we are given. In Scotland, when we take each other aside for a quick chat, we will sometimes say, “Can I have a wee word?” That phrase is appropriate for this discussion. When I talk about speaking up as a Christian, I mean having a “wee word” about Jesus to the people we meet. Let me give a couple of personal examples. Ordinary, Courageous Speaking As a pastor, evangelist, and apologist, I now do a lot of speaking up for Christ in many public forums. But the vast majority of us Christians are called to speak up in our ordinary spheres. And when we do, doors open. I think of the football player who, when we met for lunch, quickly told me that he was a born-again Christian. A friend that he had brought along asked, “Am I one of those born-again Christians?” The new footballer replied, “If you have to ask, you probably are not!” From that discussion began a Bible study with some of the other players. Speaking up opened a real door for the gospel. And then there’s the secretary who, after attending an author’s lecture on Christian courage at a bookstore, returned to work the next day and told her boss that she was ashamed that she had never once mentioned she was a Christian, even though she had worked in that office for several years. The boss, not a believer himself, was delighted and told a colleague who happened to be an elder in a local evangelical church. And how can I forget the parent who, with trembling knees, went to the head teacher of her local school to ask why a form of sex education that went against the Creator’s instructions was being indoctrinated into the children. Rather than being laughed at or ignored (as she feared), the head teacher listened and sought to make some programmatic changes. And how about the social worker who worked with mostly atheist colleagues. Her patient witness, hard work, cheerful disposition, and refusal to live by the standards of the culture resulted many years later in a couple of her colleagues coming to church, and one of them becoming a believer. Break the Silence Patience is needed. Speaking up is not easy. We speak up because we love Jesus and we want to see him glorified. We speak up, not to defend ourselves, but because we love those we are speaking to and want them to share in the greatest gift of all: Christ. Here is the great promise for every Christian: when we speak up in faithfulness to God’s word, it is not we who are speaking, but the Holy Spirit who is speaking through us (Mark 13:11; 2 Corinthians 5:20). And his word will never return to him empty (Isaiah 55:11). For any who know and experience the beauty and glory of Christ, the question is not whether we should speak up, but rather how on earth can we keep silent? Article by David Robertson

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