The Intimate Marriage - A Practical Guide To Building A Great Marriage Order Printed Copy

Author: R. C. Sproul
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About the Book

"The Intimate Marriage" by R.C. Sproul offers practical advice and insights on how to build a strong and fulfilling marriage. The book covers topics such as communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, and spiritual growth within a marriage. Sproul's guidance is grounded in biblical principles and aims to help couples cultivate a healthy and thriving relationship.

Darlene Deibler Rose

Darlene Diebler Rose: Unwavering Faith in God’s Promises “Remember one thing, dear: God said he would never leave us nor forsake us.” Those words were spoken on March 13, 1942, and were the last words Darlene Diebler would ever hear from her husband, Russell, as they were permanently separated in Japanese prison camps during World War II. She was a missionary in her early twenties. She did not even have a chance to say goodbye. Consider her own reflection on that heartbreaking day: Everything had happened so fast and without the slightest warning. Russell had said, “He will never leave us nor forsake us.” No? What about now, Lord? This was one of the times when I thought God had left me, that he had forsaken me. I was to discover, however, that when I took my eyes off the circumstances that were overwhelming me, over which I had no control, and looked up, my Lord was there, standing on the parapet of heaven looking down. Deep in my heart he whispered, “I’m here. Even when you don’t see me, I’m here. Never for a moment are you out of my sight” (Evidence Not Seen, 46). Obedience to God’s Call in All Circumstances Darlene Mae McIntosh was born on May 17, 1917. At age nine she put her trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as her light and salvation. One year later, during a revival service, she sensed God’s calling to give her life to missions. On that night she promised Jesus, “Lord, I will go anywhere with you, no matter what it costs” (46). How could that little girl know what the Savior had planned for her in the not too distant future? “Through it all, Darlene was sustained by God, who never left her nor forsook her, just as he promised. He remained her light and salvation.” Darlene married a pioneer missionary to Southeast Asia named Russell Deibler on August 18, 1937. She was only nineteen years old. He was twelve years her senior. The Deiblers eagerly returned to Russell’s pioneer missionary work in the interior of New Guinea. Darlene accompanied Russell into the jungle to establish a new mission station near a previously unevangelized, primitive tribe that had only been discovered just a few years earlier. Darlene, the first white woman any of them had ever seen, grew to deeply love the local people. When World War II broke out in that part of the world, the Dieblers chose to stay. And when the Japanese soon took control of the area, the Deiblers were put under house arrest. Later, Japanese soldiers herded all foreigners into prisoner-of-war camps, separating the men from the women and children. During the next four years, Darlene endured separation from her husband and, eventually, widowhood. The brutal conditions of a WWII Japanese internment camp included near-starvation, forced labor, inhumane conditions, false accusations of espionage, serious illnesses, solitary confinement, and torture. Through it all, Darlene was sustained by God, who never left her nor forsook her, just as he promised. He remained her light and salvation. God Is Sufficient in All Circumstances After receiving the news of her husband’s death, Darlene was falsely accused of being a spy and taken to a maximum-security prison where she was kept in solitary confinement. Written over the door of her cell were the words in Indonesian, “This person must die.” Frequently she was taken to an interrogation room and accused of spying. Upon her denial, her interrogators would strike her at the base of the neck or on her forehead above the nose. There were times she thought they had broken her neck. She walked around often with two black eyes. “Bloodied but unbowed” (141), she never wept in front of her captors, but when she was back in her cell she would weep and pour out her heart to the Lord. When she finished, she would hear him whisper, “But my child, my grace is sufficient for thee. Not was or shall be, but it is sufficient” (141). “When she finished, she would hear him whisper, ‘But my child, my grace is sufficient for thee. Not was or shall be, but it is sufficient.’” Time and time again God showed himself to be powerful and faithful to Darlene. Once, within moments of being beheaded as a spy, she was unexpectedly taken from the maximum-security prison back to her original prison camp. The Lord again had heard her prayers, leading her to a level path against her enemies. Over and over again, Darlene could look back at her life and see how God had strengthened and sustained her as a young bride at age nineteen. when she headed to the jungles of New Guinea at twenty. when placed under house arrest by the Japanese when she was twenty-five. when she and her husband were separated into separate prison camps in 1942, never to see each other again in this life. as she ate rats, tadpoles, dogs, runny oatmeal, and maggots, and other unimaginable foods. through dengue fever, beriberi, malaria, cerebral malaria, dysentery, beatings, torture, attacks of rabid dogs, false charges of espionage, the promise of beheading, solitary confinement, Allied bombings, and many other inhumane abuses. when told of the death of her beloved husband and his own tortures and sufferings. when he brought her home to America but kept the fire of missions burning in her soul. when he brought another missionary into her life, Gerald Rose, whom she married (1948) and returned with him to New Guinea in 1949. as she labored on the mission field of Papua New Guinea and the Outback of Australia for over forty years, evangelizing, teaching, building landing strips, delivering babies, facing down headhunters, and loving them to Jesus. On February 24, 2004, Darlene Diebler Rose quietly passed away and entered into the presence of the King she so deeply loved and faithfully served. She was eighty-seven years old. All throughout her life, when sharing her story, Darlene would say, “I would do it all again for my Savior.” No doubt many in New Guinea are grateful for her devotion. May we follow this great saint to the nations, for the sake of their souls and the glory of our great King Jesus.

ready to commit, slow to compare - a recipe for real community

Months ago a young couple visited our church, and we had them over to our home for lunch. As we ate and conversed over meatloaf and mashed potatoes, the young woman peppered me with questions. “So what is community like at your church?” “How many people are in discipleship relationships?” In between questions, she gave us a glowing review of the church they had been a part of in another state. I felt expectations rise as she shared about her close relationship with the pastor’s wife, who happened to live in the apartment above them, and how she popped in on their family at all different times of day. I was beginning to feel like a job description was being offered to me, and our church was being evaluated as to whether we fit the bill. I’m thankful this couple had such a wonderful experience at their former church, but I couldn’t help but wonder how helpful it was to measure everything against their previous experience. Yes, we learn from our past and are blessed when we have great models, but is it helpful to compare communities of faith and assume that one is the ideal model and all others should strive to look the same? “Relationships deepen and grow only when we’re willing to commit time and energy to fostering them.” The conversation about what church community should look like caused me to reflect on different issues I’ve noticed emerging around this important debate. Community Without Commitment Despite all the hype about the importance of community in the body of Christ, there can be a tendency to want all the feelings of community without a firm commitment to a local body of believers. Relationships deepen and grow only when we’re willing to commit time and energy to fostering them (Hebrews 10:24–25). Committing to a Bible study or small group or discipleship relationship often provides the setting to establish community. But if you always have a list of reasons why you don’t have the time, how will the body of Christ you belong to know how to minister to your needs? If having babies or being tired or working late keeps you from faithfully serving your church or being served through a ministry of the church, you’re likely not going to feel well-connected. How will we know how to pray for each other when there isn’t a regular time to meet in a smaller setting and share our joys and burdens of life? If your travel plans or children’s sports schedules consistently have you missing corporate times of worship, you’ll be deprived of not just hearing the word proclaimed, but the interactions that happen in the pews before and after the service. We will never experience true community without a firm, sacrificial commitment to a local body of believers. Community Without Accountability True community also means being transparent enough with your own struggles so that others in the body know how to pray for you (James 5:16). Not everyone in your church needs to know your darkest moments of despair, but do a select few know your battles? Are others free to ask you how you’re faring in your war with pornography, binge eating, or gossip? Or do you meet them with a high wall of defense when they try to speak truth into your life? “We will never experience true community without a firm, sacrificial commitment to a local body of believers. ” When another member in the body has the courage to confront our inconsistency or hold us accountable in a struggle we’re facing, we should ask God to give us grace to receive their words with humility and meekness. Our own pride can tempt us to surround ourselves with people who will affirm our words and actions, instead of challenge us when we turn down the wrong path. There is a temptation to shut people out who are speaking truth into our life by avoiding communication with them: unfriending them on Facebook, turning the other way when you see them at church, or conveniently never finding the time to meet them for coffee. But we’re missing out on what could be a primary means of sanctification in our lives when we refuse to be held accountable by our community of faith. No Perfect Community So, in your search for the church with the perfect community, be willing to accept that community will look different from church to church. Maybe your community was established by a strong relationship with the pastor’s wife at your former church, but be willing to see that your close relationships at your new church could come through an unexpected way: a single woman longing for companionship or perhaps a gray-haired grandma willing to meet you for coffee each week. Instead of sitting on the sidelines comparing and critiquing what your church does or doesn’t have, commit to a ministry of the church to both serve in and be served. Find a smaller group within the body to share life with, study Scripture with, and pray for one another with. And keep the commitments you make. If you sign up for a Bible study that lasts twelve weeks, do your best to commit for the long haul. If you’re feeling disconnected from others within your church, evaluate your own level of involvement. True community is established through faithfulness, commitment, and a humility to both share your struggles and receive counsel. You honor God when you commit to the saints and sinners he has placed in your church family. We Need Each Other “One day we’ll see Jesus together, but we’ll only make it if we push each other to cling to him today.” We might not ever find the perfect community this side of heaven, but our church families are essential for our walk with Jesus. Like Hebrews says, the state of our very souls depends on our community of faith: Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:12–13) We need community. We need our brothers and sisters in Christ. However imperfect our church may be, we need our family to point us to the gospel. One day we’ll see Jesus together, but we’ll only make it if we push each other to cling to him today.