Sheet Music (Uncovering The Secrets Of Sexual Intimacy In Marraige) Order Printed Copy

Author: Dr. Kevin Leman
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About the Book

"Sheet Music" by Dr. Kevin Leman is a comprehensive guide that explores the secrets of sexual intimacy within marriage. The book provides practical advice, insights, and techniques to help couples enhance their physical intimacy and strengthen their relationship. Dr. Leman addresses common misconceptions and challenges surrounding sex, offering valuable tips for improving communication, understanding each other's needs, and experiencing a fulfilling and satisfying intimate connection.

Hudson Taylor

"China is not to be won for Christ by quiet, ease-loving men and women … The stamp of men and women we need is such as will put Jesus, China, [and] souls first and foremost in everything and at every time—even life itself must be secondary." In September 1853, a little three-masted clipper slipped quietly out of Liverpool harbor with Hudson Taylor, a gaunt and wild-eyed 21-year-old missionary, aboard. He was headed for a country that was just coming into the Christian West's consciousness; only a few dozen missionaries were stationed there. By the time Taylor died a half-century later, however, China was viewed as the most fertile and challenging of mission fields as thousands volunteered annually to serve there. Radical missionary Taylor was born to James and Amelia Taylor, a Methodist couple fascinated with the Far East who had prayed for their newborn, "Grant that he may work for you in China." Years later, a teenage Hudson experienced a spiritual birth during an intense time of prayer as he lay stretched, as he later put, "before Him with unspeakable awe and unspeakable joy." He spent the next years in frantic preparation, learning the rudiments of medicine, studying Mandarin, and immersing himself ever deeper into the Bible and prayer. His ship arrived in Shanghai, one of five "treaty ports" China had opened to foreigners following its first Opium War with England. Almost immediately Taylor made a radical decision (as least for Protestant missionaries of the day): he decided to dress in Chinese clothes and grow a pigtail (as Chinese men did). His fellow Protestants were either incredulous or critical. Taylor, for his part, was not happy with most missionaries he saw: he believed they were "worldly" and spent too much time with English businessmen and diplomats who needed their services as translators. Instead, Taylor wanted the Christian faith taken to the interior of China. So within months of arriving, and the native language still a challenge, Taylor, along with Joseph Edkins, set off for the interior, setting sail down the Huangpu River distributing Chinese Bibles and tracts. When the Chinese Evangelization Society, which had sponsored Taylor, proved incapable of paying its missionaries in 1857, Taylor resigned and became an independent missionary; trusting God to meet his needs. The same year, he married Maria Dyer, daughter of missionaries stationed in China. He continued to pour himself into his work, and his small church in Ningpo grew to 21 members. But by 1861, he became seriously ill (probably with hepatitis) and was forced to return to England to recover. In England, the restless Taylor continued translating the Bible into Chinese (a work he'd begun in China), studied to become a midwife, and recruited more missionaries. Troubled that people in England seemed to have little interest in China, he wrote China: Its Spiritual Need and Claims. In one passage, he scolded, "Can all the Christians in England sit still with folded arms while these multitudes [in China] are perishing—perishing for lack of knowledge—for lack of that knowledge which England possesses so richly?" Taylor became convinced that a special organization was needed to evangelize the interior of China. He made plans to recruit 24 missionaries: two for each of the 11 unreached inland provinces and two for Mongolia. It was a visionary plan that would have left veteran recruiters breathless: it would increase the number of China missionaries by 25 percent. Taylor himself was wracked with doubt: he worried about sending men and women unprotected into the interior; at the same time, he despaired for the millions of Chinese who were dying without the hope of the gospel. In 1865 he wrote in his diary, "For two or three months, intense conflict … Thought I should lose my mind." A friend invited him to the south coast of England, to Brighton, for a break. And it was there, while walking along the beach, that Taylor's gloom lifted: "There the Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service. I told him that all responsibility as to the issues and consequences must rest with him; that as his servant it was mine to obey and to follow him." His new mission, which he called the China Inland Mission (CIM), had a number of distinctive features, including this: its missionaries would have no guaranteed salaries nor could they appeal for funds; they would simply trust God to supply their needs; furthermore, its missionaries would adopt Chinese dress and then press the gospel into the China interior. Within a year of his breakthrough, Taylor, his wife and four children, and 16 young missionaries sailed from London to join five others already in China working under Taylor's direction. Strains in the organization Taylor continued to make enormous demands upon himself (he saw more than 200 patients daily when he first returned) and on CIM missionaries, some of whom balked. Lewis Nicol, who accused Taylor of tyranny, had to be dismissed. Some CIM missionaries, in the wake of this and other controversies, left to join other missions, but in 1876, with 52 missionaries, CIM constituted one-fifth of the missionary force in China. Because there continued to be so many Chinese to reach, Taylor instituted another radical policy: he sent unmarried women into the interior, a move criticized by many veterans. But Taylor's boldness knew no bounds. In 1881, he asked God for another 70 missionaries by the close of 1884: he got 76. In late 1886, Taylor prayed for another 100 within a year: by November 1887, he announced 102 candidates had been accepted for service. His leadership style and high ideals created enormous strains between the London and China councils of the CIM. London thought Taylor autocratic; Taylor said he was only doing what he thought was best for the work, and then demanded more commitment from others: "China is not to be won for Christ by quiet, ease-loving men and women," he wrote. "The stamp of men and women we need is such as will put Jesus, China, [and] souls first and foremost in everything and at every time—even life itself must be secondary." Taylor's grueling work pace, both in China and abroad (to England, the United States, and Canada on speaking engagements and to recruit), was carried on despite Taylor's poor health and bouts with depression. In 1900 it became too much, and he had complete physical and mental breakdown. The personal cost of Taylor's vision was high on his family as well: his wife Maria died at age 33, and four of eight of their children died before they reached the age of 10. (Taylor eventually married Jennie Faulding, a CIM missionary.) Between his work ethic and his absolute trust in God (despite never soliciting funds, his CIM grew and prospered), he inspired thousands to forsake the comforts of the West to bring the Christian message to the vast and unknown interior of China. Though mission work in China was interrupted by the communist takeover in 1949, the CIM continues to this day under the name Overseas Missionary Fellowship (International).

letter to a friend engaged to a nonbeliever

Dear Kelly, I was surprised by the recent news of your engagement. While I wish I could celebrate with you without reservation, I admit I have some. My greatest concern is that your fiancé does not know or love Christ. Because I love you and care about your future, I feel compelled to speak now rather than to hold my peace, knowing full well how you might receive my “peace.” I expect that, if you’re honest, you may have your own reservations about the upcoming ceremony. I hope you will heed those reservations and reconsider. As I have watched people walk down this road, I have noticed several common ways people justify marrying a nonbeliever. I want to address them in hope that you might experience grace to trust God and his word regarding marriage. “Others Are Doing It.” “Let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39).” You know my story. My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. But as much as I love her and our marriage, it was wrong for her to do so. While God was gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39). Furthermore, the difficult path to my own conversion and then to our wedding ceremony is not one I would wish upon others. I fear you’ve latched onto God’s grace in my marriage (and others like mine) as a sort of promise for your own. God has made no such promise. While God was merciful to bring me to himself despite my wife’s disobedience, we are the exception and not the rule — certainly not the model. I know far more stories that did not play out like ours. The Bible gives us more stories like that (Exodus 34:16; Ezra 9:1–15). Solomon says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). Don’t let the mistakes of others serve as a justification for repeating them. “He’s a Good Guy.” While I do think your fiancé is a great guy by earthly standards, it’s his standing before God that matters most for marriage. You mentioned how important it was to you that he respected your boundaries, particularly after your last boyfriend pushed the boundaries, even while claiming to be Christian. I agree that he certainly seems to outshine your last suitor, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of lateral comparison. We must be careful about making choices today based solely on setting them next to bad choices in the past. Look for a man striving to imitate Jesus (1 Corinthians 11:1). Why did you put your faith in Jesus, and choose to follow him? Are you absolutely sure you won’t regret committing yourself until death to someone who might never help you see or love Jesus more? If he does not share your captivation with Christ, you and he will always stand on unlevel and unsteady ground as you carry out your vows in marriage. “Give Him a Chance.” You’ve mentioned that your boyfriend is “warming up” to the idea of spiritual things. You’ve even thought at times he might be on the verge of conversion. Beware of your heart, which is prone to lie to you (Jeremiah 17:9), and of the butterflies in your stomach that often flutter louder than the Spirit within us. Until you are absolutely sure that he has also been born again by the same Spirit alive in you (John 3:5), heed the warning and conviction the Spirit brings (John 16:8). “If he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding?” Don’t be fooled into thinking he is simply “spiritual, but not religious.” There is no such thing as spiritual neutrality. We are always either with Jesus or against him (Matthew 12:30). Despite his warmth toward you, any attempt to have God on his own terms is an attempt to reject the true God over your life and heart. If he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding? “I’ll Die Alone.” I know it can be hard to see other couples getting married, holding hands, and having kids while you remain single. Don’t let this serve as a reason to try and seize marriage at the first opportunity. I wish you could see a glimpse of a future in which you remained faithful to your vows to a man who remained faithless toward your Savior. Worse than attending church alone your entire life, while your husband remained at home, is the haunting thought that the man you gave yourself to might spend eternity separated from you and God. Worse yet is the thought that he might lead you or your children down the same path (Matthew 7:13). It really is possible to be more isolated and alone within a marriage than without. Marriage is no savior. It will not ultimately save anyone from sin or loneliness or unhappiness. It cannot bear the weight of those needs and longings. While the single life is not without trials, remember you are not alone. So long as you cling to Jesus, he will be with you (Matthew 28:20). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He’s also given you community in the church. Even if your hope for a husband is never fulfilled in this life, you are promised a seat at the great wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7), and he will far surpass everything you might have experienced with an earthly husband. “I Already Said ‘Yes.’” I know that backing out of your engagement at this point may cost you, financially and otherwise. I know it might feel embarrassing. But it would be far better in the long run to lose some money and gain a few months of heartache than to commit the rest of your life to a marriage God does not want for you. Until you say, “I do,” it is not too late to wait. God may even redeem the situation in a surprising way for his glory if it is handled well. Would it not speak volumes about your faith if you told him you were deciding to entrust your future to God? If you were to say, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21)? Tell him you will settle for nothing less than being married “in the Lord.” Confess your disobedience to God and the sin of misleading him. Your repentance and faith could, by God’s mysterious grace, be the vehicle God uses to bring him to himself. “If you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage.” Even then, you must make clear to him that a future with you is not promised. Should he come to saving faith, it must be to have God, not to have a wife. Otherwise, he risks making an idol out of you and using Jesus as a means to something else. If you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage. I trust that, if you are willing to listen, the Holy Spirit will lead you into the truth that gaining a husband while forsaking your soul is a trade you do not want to make (Mark 8:36). I also pray that you would eventually see any wounds I have caused you as the faithful wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6), and not as those of an enemy. As you seek God’s will, hide yourself in him and his will, and wait with patience for the day he will wipe away every tear. With love and grace, Your Pastor