Restoring The Christian Family Order Printed Copy
- Author: John Loren And Paula Sandford
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About the Book
"Restoring The Christian Family" by John Loren and Paula Sandford discusses the importance of healing and restoring broken relationships within families by relying on God's grace and principles. The authors provide practical advice and biblical insights to help readers strengthen their family dynamics and create a healthy, loving atmosphere in their homes.
Mary Winslow
Godly people speak long after their deaths. This is no exception with Mary Winslow. The biography of this godly woman is heart-warming to read. It is filled with lessons for Christians today on how to walk with Christ even when things are hard in your life.
Sitting at Jesusâ Feet with Mary Winslow
At the heart of godliness is a living bond with the Lord Jesus. That bond evidences itself in âsitting at Jesusâ feet,â as Mary did (Luke 10:39). But what does that involve? A beautiful example of that is another Mary â Mary Winslow, a woman whose devotional writings continue to be printed today. Her writings breathe of tender, humble, and delightful communion with Christ.
The Emptiness of Entertainment
Mary was born on February 28, 1774 in Bermuda, a beautiful island in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean. As an only child of well-to-do parents, she received a good education, but little religious instruction. When she was ânearly eighteen ... (merry), thoughtless, (and) full of life,â she married an army Lieutenant stationed in Bermuda, Thomas Winslow. A little later, when she attended a ball where she basked in the light of popularity, she afterwards sensed the emptiness of it all.
One question began to weigh on her: How can I be righteous before God? Her attempts to obey Godâs law could not satisfy her conscience. Her spiritual distress led her to turn to the Scriptures and plead with God for mercy. She was also brought under an evangelical and experimental ministry, which pointed her to the Saviour of sinners.
As she bowed before Him in her need, the Lord spoke to her soul: âI am thy salvation.â This grace led to a fundamental change in her life. Her husband and others around her only had a formal religion and did not understand her heart experience. This even led her to question whether what she experienced was true, saving grace. But in her distress, the Lord reassured her of His grace.
Having been saved, she became concerned for the spiritual welfare of those around her. She sought to support an evangelical ministry in Bermuda, which had not been present earlier. She instituted family worship in her home, in spite of the initial resistance of her husband.
Great Trials In Life
Other changes also entered her home. Through bad investments, her husband lost much of his fortune. Since they had ten children, including many sons, they decided to move to America. She left ahead with her children. Shortly after she arrived in New York, her infant daughter became sick and died. Before she could even bury her daughter, the message came that her husband had died in England. She wrote that it was âthe heaviest affliction I have ever met with.â
This period was not only marked by the grief of bereavement, but also âspiritual darkness and despondency.â Yet, she confessed, âthe Lord, even in this, has not chastened me according to my backslidings.â Greater yet, the Lord returned with His comfort.
Life continued. As a poor widow, she had to raise her large family. She wrote, âI thought, âHow can I, a helpless woman, care for, and train up, these children to manhood?â I felt I should sink beneath the overwhelming conviction of my weakness and insufficiency.â In this distress, the Lord came with His comforting promise: âI will be a Father to thy fatherless children.â This promise was her pleading ground in the ensuing years, as she wrestled in prayer for her childrenâs salvation.
Some years later, she witnessed a time of revival, first personally, and then in her family and surrounding churches. After a time of darkness, she wrote, God âfilled my heart with unspeakable joy.â God also converted the three sons who were still at home. She continued to pray for the salvation of her older children until they also came to a saving knowledge of Christ. Several sons became ministers.
Mary often struggled with poor health. Towards the end of her life, her health declined to the point where she was confined to her bed. She remained mentally clear and longed to be with her Lord. On October 3, 1854, her desire was fulfilled. Her faint, yet distinct last words were: âI see thee! I see thee! I see thee!â
Great Comfort At Jesusâ Feet
While her afflictions were greater than those of many others, her joys were also deeper than those of many of Godâs people. She was often at the feet of the Lord Jesus. She described her conversion this way: âI was brought to the feet of Jesus.â She did not mean that she simply began a routine of devotional activities, but that God led her to Christ Himself, to bow before Him, receive of His grace, and experience communion with Him.
What that communion involved is best said in her own words. âI have just been favoured with a most precious interview with the King of kings,â she wrote. âHe admitted me, even me, into His royal presence-chamber, and encouraged me to open my mouth wide, telling Him all that was in my heart; and you may be sure I did presume to make large demands upon his goodness ... My heart was dissolved into love and my eyes into tears. I wept that ever I could sin against such a God, grieve that blessed Spirit by whom I am sealed unto glory.â
From a sickbed, she wrote: âI have to deal most clearly with God in Jesus now. He is all in all to me ... My soul holds converse with him, and sweet I find it to lie as a helpless infant at his Feet; yea, passive in his loving hands, knowing no will but His. Holy and distinguished is the privilege of talking with Him as a man talketh with his friend, without restraint or concealment. What a mercy, thus to unburden the whole heart â the tried and weary, the tempted and sorrowful heart â tried by sin, tried by Satan, tried by those you love. What a mercy to have a loving bosom to flee to, one truly loving heart to confide in, which responds to the faintest breathing of the Spirit! Precious Jesus, how inexpressibly dear art Thou to me at this moment! Keep sensibly near to me.â
She did not always experience the same richness of communion, but she knew, âMy choicest seat is at the foot of the Cross ... When I can but view His bleeding wounds, and obtain one glance by faith of His gracious countenance, it is worth a thousand worlds to me.â Is that your confession? You may not always sit at the foot of the Cross and sensibly experience His love and your unworthiness, but if you have ever sat at His feet, you will agree that there is no better place in the world.
What Can We Learn?
Mary Winslowâs life evidences the lessons learned at Jesusâ feet. The most basic lessons involve a deepening knowledge of her sin and Christâs love. Often she wrote things like:
I feel my vileness, my unprofitableness, my woeful shortcomings, and am thankful if I can but only creep to the foot of the Cross, and there repose my weary soul, refreshed by one look at Jesus, who, I do trust, died for my sins.â âNever, never did sin appear so hateful, and my own nothingness so great, as yesterday at the table of the Lord ... but still my hope was in the Lord.â âI have never wept so much for sin as I have done lately ... But while I have thus been led of late to mourn so much for sin, I have never felt pardon so abundantly manifested. God be praised for a free-grace gospel!
As her life drew to a close, she said: âI shall enter heaven a poor sinner saved by grace. I seem to have done nothing for the Lord, who has done so much for me.â Her life shows that greater views of Christ and greater views of sin go together and lead to humility, love, and dependence on the Lord.
Another grace received at Jesusâ feet is the desire for holiness. Often she would write things like: âHow beautiful does holiness appear to me! To be holy is to be happy. May the Lord sanctify us!â âMy heart longs for full sanctification. I am wearied with sin; my soul loathes it, and I abhor myself in dust and in ashes.â âOh, I want to be more conformable to his lovely image, to be sanctified, body, soul, and spirit, and to have every power of my mind under the constant influence of the Holy Spirit.â A view of Christâs holiness and beauty fuelled the desire to be like Him.
A desire for holiness shows itself in her heavenly-mindedness. Often she exhorted to meditate on the glory of heaven, expressed longings to walk as a pilgrim, and one day âto see Jesus, to bask in the full sunshine of His glory, and to sit forever at His feet.â Her son, Octavius, wrote: âher religion was eminently practical ... her life was singularly useful, because her mind was transcendently heavenly.â She exhorted, âMy dear children, live for eternity; this world is not worth living for.â
While she longed to be with Christ, she also had Paulâs desire to be of use on earth. She showed compassion to the poor, sick, lonely, and needy. She visited, helped, and spoke to them. Her main burden was the salvation of loved ones and acquaintances. She exhorted others: âLet us who believe, pray, and exhort, and employ every opportunity to arouse, to instruct, and win all to Christ, who has life, yea, eternal life, to give to all who seek it sincerely and earnestly.â Even in her dying days she wrote: âmy time now is short; I would fain be useful in encouraging others to come to Thee, thou Fountain.â
Mary Winslowâs God Lives
Mary Winslowâs words and example give us beautiful instruction. To learn more from her, read her book of letters, entitled Heaven Opened: The Correspondence of Mary Winslow, published by Reformation Heritage Books. You can read it as a daily devotional. Another excellent source is Octavius Winslowâs Life in Jesus: A Memoir of Mrs. Mary Winslow, Arranged from Her Correspondence, Diary, and Thoughts (Morgan, PA: Soli Deo Gloria, 1995). Now that Reformation Heritage Books has acquired Soli Deo Gloria Publications we hope they will soon republish this classic work.
There is one warning: her life may expose the poverty of your own spiritual life or the complete absence of communion with Christ. Christian biography has a way of doing that. Or is that warning actually a blessing? Godâs purpose is not to put Mary Winslow on a pedestal and make us sink down in discouragement before her. Instead, it is to deliver us from spiritual complacency and dead presumption and stir up a longing to receive the same grace that enables us to sit at Jesusâ feet. Mary Winslowâs confession that she was a sinner was true. Everything worth learning from her is Godâs grace in her. Her God still lives to give the same grace.
When we see someone with something beautiful, we might ask, âHow did you get that?â When you see godliness in another, do you ask similar questions? If Mary Winslow had been asked how she came to sit at the Lord Jesusâ feet, one word would have sounded: âgrace.â By sovereign grace she was âbrought as a poor sinner to His feet.â At the same time, she knew the Lord uses means to lead into communion with Him and restore it again, she exclaimed, âHow needful are the means of grace, if we wish to thrive.â
Godâs Word
Godâs Word is so important. When the Lord first uncovered Mary Winslowâs need of Him, she turned to His Word for relief. That Word then became increasingly precious to her. Though she complained of times of coldness, her private journal records how God blessed her searching of scripture. She also once wrote âwhile reading in the family my heart was drawn out by faith to Christ, and could not but speak of Him to my children.â That is why she counseled, âBe much searching scriptures.â
Though she occasionally wrote that what others called an excellent sermon was no blessing to her, her delight was to hear sermons. She could write, ânext to communion with God, it is my greatest comfort and joy to wait upon the preaching of the word.â Preaching filled with the richness of Christ and the indispensability of the Holy spiritâs work fed her soul.
She also loved to read books expounding the truths of scripture. Some of her favourite authors are still in print today: Thomas Boston, John Newton, Samuel Rutherford, and others. Her advice is timely: âKeep to the old divines. Modern divinity is very shallow â has very little of Christ and experience. May God give you a spiritual appetite!â
Mary Winslow points us to the Word as the means God uses to work and feed godliness. Her counsel is so basic, but do we practice it? Do we not simply read, but search the scriptures, as one searching for treasure? Do we come to church with the prayer to hear His voice? Do we read edifying books? Do we meditate on what we read? Through His Word, Christ leads to His feet to teach in a way that changes hearts and lives.
Prayer
Prayer is the other essential activity at the Lord Jesusâ feet. Begin your day with prayer. Mary Winslow confessed, âMy first prayer in the morning when I awake is addressed to the Holy spirit, that He would take possession of my thoughts, my imagination, my heart, my words, throughout the day, directing, controlling, and sanctifying them all.â she warns, âNever, never omit secret prayer ... Remember, the first departures from Christ begin at the closet, or rather in the heart; and then private prayer is either hurried over, becomes a mere form, or is entirely neglected.â Times in which we set everything aside to be alone in private prayer are essential. The devil always tries to keep us from our knees with work or entertainment only because he knows the importance of prayer. She also knew its importance. She exclaimed, âOh, the mighty power of prayer! Even the best of Christians know but little what it really is.â
She exhorts, âYou cannot come too often. Bring to Him your little cares as well as your great ones. If anything is a trouble to you, however small it may be, you are warranted, nay, commanded, to take it to Him.â Prayer is such a privilege: âTo have Him to go to â to lay before Him all our wants, to express our fears, to plead His promises, and to expect that because He has promised He will fulfil â is worth more than all the world can give.â
Sitting at Jesusâ feet is not only for devotional times, but is a way of life. She writes that believers are to press forward in life, âlooking continually to Jesus, trusting not to our own strength, but waiting in humble dependence upon Him for all our sufficiency to carry us on, and to enable us to hold out unto the end ... Oh that we may be found like his beloved handmaiden of old, sitting at His feet!â She counsels, âYou need not wait until you can retire (for the night) and fall upon your knees; you can do it in a moment. The heart lifted up in silent prayer is sufficient.â Isnât this the echo of Scriptureâs call to âpray without ceasingâ?
Conversation
God is also pleased to bless spiritual conversation. Often she would warn: âBeware of trifling conversation; it grieves the Spirit,â and âAvoid light, trifling professors of religion; their influence will be as poison to your souls.â More than once, after an evening filled with wearying levity and trifling conversation, she would be humbled before God.
Conversation on religious topics is not enough. âWhen Christians meet together, do they not too much talk about religion, preachers, and sermons? I cannot but think, that if they communed less about religion, and more of Jesus, it would give a higher tone of spirituality to their conversation, and prove more refreshing to the soul. He would then oftener draw near, and make Himself one in their midst, and talk with them by the way.â Speaking of the triune God, the Saviour, His Word, promises, discipline, and leadings may stir up desire, trust and love in those who speak and listen. What fills our conversations? That which fills the heart spills out of the mouth. Conversely, a word about Christ may be such a blessing for an empty heart. The Lord exhorts, âWherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye doâ (1 Thess. 5:11).
Grace
Her practical counsels about the means of grace is not a newly invented, five-step plan to godliness. They are as old as Scripture itself. That gives them value. The main means of thriving which God is pleased to bless are the continual seeking of Him and the ongoing and prayerful hearing of His Word.
The encouragement is that Christ Himself uses these means to bring us to His feet by His Spirit. Her letters always traced sitting at Jesusâ feet to Godâs grace. That is why she wrote to an unconverted friend: âMay God open your eyes to see your need of a Savior, and lead you to the feet of Jesus, the sinnerâs Friend.â To a fellow-believer, she wrote: âOh that we might both be led to sit more constantly at the feet of Jesus, looking up, like little children, into His face to catch His smile and watch His eye â to see what He would have us to do, seeking nowhere else for comfort and guidance but in Him!â
Knowing God lives to draw sinners to Christâs feet gives hope. Knowing He uses His means of grace to do so encourages to be diligent in their use. Knowing He delights to bless those who use His means of grace enables us to plead with Him to bless them in spite of all the sin that stains our use of them.
Such a life of dependence is truly blessed. Listen to her words:
What a poor wretched exchange professors make when they barter the blessings of a close walk with God for the beggarly enjoyments of an empty, disappointing world! Ten minutes at the feet of Jesus, in a full view of His love, while confessing sins and shortcomings â sins we know already pardoned â yet sorrowing that we should ever grieve One who so tenderly loves us, is a happiness I would not exchange for millions of worlds.
Kneeling Among Lions - Learning to Pray Like Daniel
Tucked away in the book of Daniel, sandwiched between stories about fiery furnaces and lions on the one hand, and visions of statues, beasts, and rising kings on the other, is an extended prayer with a shockingly immediate answer. Daniel 9 contains an extended, earnest, and heartfelt prayer by the prophet. And before he even says âAmen,â the angel Gabriel is standing before him, ready to give insight and understanding to the broken-hearted prophet. What did Daniel pray that caused God to immediately dispatch an angel with an answer? And can Danielâs prayer instruct us today in how to pray? Plot Against Prayer Danielâs prayer is a dated prayer. âIn the first year of Darius the son of Ahasuerusâ (Daniel 9:1). And the particular timing mentioned draws attention to one of the most famous stories in the Bible. At the end of Daniel 5, Darius the Mede conquers the Chaldeans and dethrones Belshazzar. In chapter 6, he appoints 120 local rulers as governors over his kingdom, with high officials overseeing them. Daniel is one of these high officials. Indeed, he is distinguished above all of the high officials because of the excellent spirit (or is it Spirit?) residing in him (Daniel 6:1â3). Darius plans to elevate Daniel over all the other officials, provoking them to jealousy. They then plot to find fault with Daniel in hopes of bringing him down. After examining his life, they conclude, âWe shall not find any ground for complaint against this Daniel unless we find it in connection with the law of his Godâ (Daniel 6:5). Soon enough, they do find a ground for complaint against Daniel â his habits of prayer. Danielâs custom is to pray three times per day with an open window facing Jerusalem. The jealous officials manipulate Darius into passing an irrevocable decree against praying to anyone except the king (Daniel 6:6â9). And Danielâs defiance of this decree famously lands him in the lionsâ den (Daniel 6:10â16). What is the relevance for the prayer of Daniel 9? Itâs likely that Daniel 9 is the sort of prayer that Daniel was praying with that famous window open. Whatâs more, if weâre attentive to the whole Scriptures, we can better understand why Daniel was praying with a window open facing Jerusalem. Solomon, Jeremiah, and Daniel In 1 Kings 8, Solomon is dedicating the temple of the Lord. As he nears the end of his prayer, he contemplates the possibility (and even likelihood) that the people of Israel will sin grievously against God. When they do, God will, in fulfillment of the warnings of Deuteronomy, give them over to their enemies so that Israel will be carried captive into a foreign land. Nevertheless, God will remain faithful to his promises and his people, even as he sends them into exile. In Solomonâs request, notice the specific direction his exiled people ought to pray: Yet if they turn their heart in the land to which they have been carried captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors, saying, âWe have sinned and have acted perversely and wickedly,â if they repent with all their heart and with all their soul in the land of their enemies, who carried them captive, and pray to you toward their land, which you gave to their fathers, the city that you have chosen, and the house that I have built for your name, then hear in heaven your dwelling place their prayer and their plea, and maintain their cause and forgive your people who have sinned against you, and all their transgressions that they have committed against you, and grant them compassion in the sight of those who carried them captive, that they may have compassion on them (for they are your people, and your heritage, which you brought out of Egypt, from the midst of the iron furnace). (1 Kings 8:47â51) Solomon specifically mentions repenting and praying from exile toward Israel, toward Jerusalem. Thus, Danielâs actions make perfect sense. He is following Solomonâs instructions in hope that God will have compassion and restore his people. Beyond Solomonâs dedication, the immediate cause of Danielâs prayer is Jeremiahâs prophecy concerning the seventy weeks. Recorded in Jeremiah 25, the prophet rebukes Israel for her stubbornness and promises Godâs judgment through Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, who will lay waste to Israel. Babylon will be triumphant for seventy years, after which God will bring judgment upon them for their own sins. Daniel has this prophecy in mind when he offers his own prayer of repentance (Daniel 9:2). Lessons from Danielâs Prayer These particulars matter. Daniel offered this prayer at a specific moment in redemptive history, under the covenant that God made with Moses, during the time when Jerusalem was the center of the spiritual universe. Today we are in a different redemptive era, under the new covenant, when the heavenly Jerusalem is the center of the universe. Nonetheless, there are truths that span the covenants. Despite our differences in time, redemptive era, location, and circumstances, Danielâs prayer was still âwritten for our instruction, that . . . we might have hopeâ (Romans 15:4). So how does Danielâs prayer give us hope? Confess Clearly First, Daniel says âAmenâ to Godâs judgment. Danielâs prayer is fundamentally a prayer of confession and repentance. Again and again, Daniel acknowledges the sin of Godâs people. âWe have sinned. We have done wrong. We have acted wickedly. We have rebelled. We have turned aside from your commandments. We have not listened to your prophets. We have committed treachery. We have not obeyed your voice.â Twenty times, Daniel acknowledges that Israel has sinned. You will look in vain for any rationalizations in this prayer. Daniel is not asking God to excuse Israelâs sin; he is asking God to forgive Israelâs sin. And forgiveness begins with saying âAmenâ to Godâs judgment. âDaniel teaches us to mince no words in confession, to use no euphemisms, to soft-pedal no transgressions.â And this instructs us. We all are prone to justify and rationalize our sin, to ask God to excuse us for what weâve done, rather than asking him to forgive us for what weâve done. But Daniel teaches us to mince no words in confession, to use no euphemisms, to soft-pedal no transgressions; indeed, the great variety of terms for sin and wickedness in his prayer teaches us to labor to be clear before God about the precise ways that we have fallen short of his standards. Remember Specifically Second, Daniel remembers Godâs word and Godâs works. In confessing, Daniel directly quotes Deuteronomy 7:9, and frames his prayer by Israelâs failure to obey the law of Moses (Daniel 9:11). In punishing Israel, God is simply confirming the oaths and curses he laid down in Deuteronomy 28. Even more than that, Daniel remembers the great works of God, especially the exodus, when God brought his people out of Egypt with a mighty hand (Daniel 9:15). âGod is pleased with Bible-shaped and Scripture-saturated prayers.â This too instructs us. God is pleased with Bible-shaped and Scripture-saturated prayers. It is good and right for us to orient our confession, our repentance, and our supplications in light of Godâs laws, his promises, and his warnings. By using Scripture to frame our own prayers, we approach God in a way that he has established, with words that he has inspired, and thus we have greater confidence that he will hear and answer. Plead Confidently Third, Daniel pleads for Godâs mercy. Even as he says âAmenâ to the judgment of God, Daniel appeals to Yahwehâs mercy and forgiveness (Daniel 9:9). Daniel knows that judgment is not Godâs final word. And thus, he asks for God to again shine his face on his sanctuary (Daniel 9:17), and to turn aside his anger that has cast his people into exile. In doing so, Daniel demonstrates his deep faith in Yahwehâs fundamental character toward his people: he is a God compassionate and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love (Exodus 34:6â7). We too can approach Godâs throne with confidence because we know it is a throne of grace. Whatever chastisement and discipline he brings, mercy reigns in the heart of God. He will by no means clear the guilty, but he loves to forgive those who turn to him in humble faith. Unifying Thread Finally, what ties these elements together is Godâs righteousness â his unswerving commitment to uphold the glory of his name. Underneath Danielâs âAmenâ to Godâs judgment, underneath Danielâs remembrance of Godâs word and works, and underneath Danielâs appeal to Godâs mercy is Danielâs sure faith that God is uppermost in Godâs affections. To the Lord belongs righteousness, and therefore he has punished his people (Daniel 9:7). His judgment is a fulfillment of his commitment to his word; he will not overlook transgressions against his law (Daniel 9:11â12). He is righteous to bring this judgment. But more than that, he is righteous in showing mercy. Daniel appeals to Godâs love for his name. God made a name for himself in delivering Israel from Egypt (Daniel 9:15). And now, Daniel roots his plea for mercy in Godâs righteousness (Daniel 9:16). Israel has become a byword; the nations mock at the once-great nation and the once-great city of Jerusalem. But this nation and this city are called by the name of Yahweh. And therefore, Danielâs final plea is not based on Israelâs righteousness, but on Godâs name. Now therefore, O our God, listen to the prayer of your servant and to his pleas for mercy, and for your own sake, O Lord, make your face to shine upon your sanctuary, which is desolate. O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations, and the city that is called by your name. For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act. Delay not, for your own sake, O my God, because your city and your people are called by your name. (Daniel 9:17â19) So too for us. When we approach God, we do not come based on our righteousness. How could we? Instead, we beg God to act on our behalf for his own sake. Indeed, as those who live under Godâs new covenant, we appeal to him in the name of his Son Jesus. We plead for God to hear and forgive and pay attention and act on our behalf because we are called by the name of his Son, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with his blood-bought people.