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This has been a pure blessing, I felt called by the Spirit to pick this book up at my local library, and He wanted me to read this to prepare me, I now have a completely transformed view on relationships and how to love, in my understanding this book has the type of godly love and affection He wanted His children to have.
- seth jackson (8 months ago)
About the Book
"His Needs, Her Needs" by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr. is a marriage counseling book that explores the concept of emotional needs in relationships. The book outlines five primary emotional needs for both men and women and provides practical advice on how married couples can meet each other's needs to build a strong and lasting marriage. It also emphasizes the importance of communication, understanding, and mutual respect in creating a fulfilling and harmonious relationship.
Eric Liddell
Eric Henry Liddell was born on 16th January 1902 in Tientsin (Tianjin) North China, second son of the Rev. & Mrs. James Dunlop Liddell who were missionaries with the London Mission Society.
He was educated from 1908 to 1920 at Eltham College, Blackheath, school for the sons of missionaries. Eric, with his older brother Rob, were left at their boarding school while their parents and sister, Jenny, returned to China.
During the boysâ time at Eltham College, their parents, sister and new brother Ernest came home on furlough two or three times and were able to be together as a family â mainly living in Edinburgh.
Although born in China and educated in England, Eric Liddell lived in Scotland at various times during his life.
In 1920, Eric joined his brother Rob at Edinburgh University to read for a BSc in Pure Science.
During this period he played rugby for Scotland and trained to run at the Olympics.
Athletics and rugby played a large part in Ericâs University life. He ran in the 100 yards and the 220 yards for Edinburgh University and later for Scotland. He played rugby for Edinburgh University and in 1922 played in seven Scottish Internationals with A.L. Gracie.
Eric Liddell was a gifted rugby player and played for the Edinburgh Univerisity 1st XV team.
He also played international rugby for Scotland and gained seven international caps as a wing-threequarter, scoring four tries thanks to his searing pace.
As a result of having insufficient time for both running and rugby, he chose the former, aiming for the 100 meters in the Paris Olympics. When he learned that the heats were to be run on a Sunday, he switched to the 400 metre competition as he was not prepared to run on a Sunday.
He won a gold medal for the 400 metres and a bronze medal for the 200 metres at the Paris Olympics.
He also travelled briefly to the USA in 1924 to compete in an athletics tournament. He returned to Edinburgh after the Paris Olympics and he graduated from Edinburgh University.
Eric Liddell lived for a short time in Gillespie Crescent before moving to a house in Merchiston Place.
Recollections of Eric Liddell By Sir Arthur Marshall
The Cambridge University Athletics Club had an invitation from Pennsylvania to take a team of seven to the Pennsylvanian Games in March 1924, and I was one of the seven. Eric Liddell, the Scot from Edinburgh University, the 1923 AAA 100 yards Champion, had been personally invited and travelled with us. We stayed at the very comfortable Pennsylvanian Cricket Club. I am afraid none of, including Eric Liddell, managed to win an event at the Pennsylvanian Games.
We travelled back in a small slow ship of the American United Line called âThe Republicâ â a ten day crossing. Eric Liddell entered in the fun and games on the boat, including the Fancy Dress Dance. Whilst he was very strict about religion. Eric and I became good friends and saw much of two American sisters, Freddie and Edith, who were travelling to âdo Europeâ, including the UK. They said they were going to be in Paris for the Olympic Games, and we said if we were there at the same time we hoped we could meet.
Harold Abrahams had set his whole life on winning the Olympic 100 Metres â it had become and obsession with him. Liddellâs achievement in winning the 1923 AAA 100 Yards in the record time of 9 7/10 seconds was a devastating blow to Abrahams and shook him to the core. To date Abrahams had been a consistent 10 seconds 100 yards winner but had only slightly broken 10 seconds on one or two occasions. He knew in the Olympics he would be up against overseas competition, particularly from the Americans, but this new and very serious opposition out of the blue and on his doorstep had come at a time when Harold had established his 100 yards supremacy in the UK. To achieve level pegging with Eric Liddellâs new record time, Harold had to improve his performance by two or three yards with the help of his trainer Sam Mussabini. It must have been a tremendous relief to Harold when it became known early in 1924 that Eric had decided to concentrate on the 400 metres and, because of his religious principles, would not compete in the Olympic 100 metres as first heats were always run on Sunday.
Eric had in turn become completely dedicated to winning an Olympic Medal within the restrictions of his faith. He was a famous Scottish international rugger player, and gave up his rugger to enable him to concentrate on his Olympic ambitions, which became very deep-rooted, and his work suffered. Winning an Olympic Gold Medal became a priority, second only to his religion, and the ambition to win this event became part of his religion.
Recollections of Eric Liddell By Sir Arthur Marshall
The team travelled to Paris days before the Olympics started and had a big send-off at Victoria Station.
The silence at the start of the 100 metres and 400 metres was quite electric. Harold Abrahams won the 100 metres in a new Games record time.
In spite of all that has been said about Abrahamsâ 100 metres, the 400 metres in some way provided the greatest thrill of the meeting with the world record being broken by Eric Liddell three times in two days. It was thought that Liddell had some chance of winning, but nobody thought Liddell capable of the amazing performance he achieved in the final. As far as the crowd were concerned they were well informed about Liddellâs dedication to his religion and his refusal to run in the first round of the 100 metres on the Sunday; they also knew of his determination to win this event. The occasion was enlivened by the support given to Liddell by the pipes and drums of the Cameron Highlanders.
The silence and pent-up excitement at the start of the race could be felt. Liddell went ahead at the start and maintained his pace throughout, finishing in what at the time was described as âa most lion-hearted mannerâ winning by three yards from Fitch, an American. This was probably the greatest achievement of the VIIIth Olympiad, and superlatives were showered on Liddell by the press of the entire world. Liddell was short and not a pretty runner but just pounded along virtually at the same pace all the way, with a finish as if he was making a final dash for a try in a rugger match with an opponent bearing down on him and about to tackle from behind.
After Eric had won the 400 metres Gold Medal, Eric and I made contact with Freddie and Edith, the American sisters, and took them to a Tango Tea Dance in the Champs Elysees.
Footnote: Along with sacrificing his place in the 1924 Olympics 100m, Eric Liddell also gave up two other races in which Great Britain held high hopes of winning gold that year â the 4 x 100m and 4 x 400m, whose finals also took place on a Sunday.
After the Olympics
After the Olympics and his graduation, he returned to North China where he served as a missionary from 1925 to 1943 â first in Tientsin (Tainjin) and later in Siaochang. During his first furlough in 1932 he was ordained as a minister.
1930 - 1932
On furlough from China studying at Congregational College. After completing his studies he was ordained as a minister on 22nd June 1932. During this time he lived in a hostel in George Square which belonged to the Edinburgh Medical Missionary Society.
During these periods Eric Liddell attended Morningside Congregational Church at the corner of Chamberlain Road and Morningside Road.
Morningside Congregational Church
The Church building (pictured here on the right) was originally built for North Morningside United Presbyterian Church who used it until 1881 when it became too small. They then built a new, larger, church on the other side of the road (which is now the Eric Liddell Centre).
From 1881 the old church was home to the Morningside Athenaeum Club before the Congregational Church purchased it in 1890.
In 1928 this church was demolished and a new one erected (which is now Morningside United Church).
Eric Liddell would have attended meetings in both buildings during his two extended stays in Edinburgh. The old church from 1920 to 1925 and the current building (Morningside United Church) from 1930 to 1932. He also preached at the church on a number of occasions.
On his return to China, he married Florence Mackenzie (of Canadian missionary parentage) in Tientsin in 1934. They had three daughters; Patricia, Heather and Maureen, who now all live in Canada.
Living in China in the 1930s was potentially very dangerous and in 1937 Eric was sent to Siaochang where he joined his brother Rob. He was now crossing the Japanese army lines.
In 1941 life in China was becoming so dangerous that the British Government advised British nationals to leave. Florence and the children left for Canada.
During 1941 â 1943 Eric stayed in Tientsin, then in 1943 he was interned in Weishien camp until his death in 1945.
The Eric Liddell Centre
The United Presbyterian Church merged with the Free Church of Scotland in 1900 and then, in 1929, this merged with the Church of Scotland.
The United Presbyterian Church built in 1879 became known as Morningside North parish Church. By 1980 the building was no longer in use and became the Holy Corner Church Centre.
This was an initiative of the three remaining churches at Holy Corner: Morningside United Church (a merger between the Congregational and Church of Scotland congregations and in joint membership of the United Reformed Church and Church of Scotland), Christ Church (Scottish Episcopal Church) and Morningside Baptist Church.
As the project developed the centreâs name was changed to The Eric Liddell Centre in recognition of his involvement in the life of one of the founding churches and the local community during his time living here.
hero in an unmarked grave - the unusual modesty of john calvin
On May 27, 1564, just after eight oâclock in the evening, a nurse urgently summoned Theodore Beza (1519â1605) to Calvinâs bedside. âWe found he had already died,â Calvinâs friend and fellow pastor later wrote. âOn that day, then, at the same time with the setting sun, this splendid luminary was withdrawn from us.â 1  Calvin was 54 years old. Calvinâs death sent a shock wave throughout Geneva and beyond. Beza writes, âThat night and the following day there was a general lamentation throughout the city . . . all lamenting the loss of one who was, under God, a common parent and comfort.â He records that two days later âthe entire cityâ gathered at the St. Pierre Cathedral to honor their beloved pastor. Despite Calvinâs prominence, the funeral was unusually simple, âwith no extraordinary pomp.â 2  But Calvinâs burial was particularly unusual. Unmarked Grave Eighteen years earlier, on February 18, 1546, fellow Reformer Martin Luther died at the age of 63. As was common practice for ministers, Lutherâs remains were interred inside the church where he had faithfully served. His casket lies in Wittenbergâs Castle Church, near the pulpit, seven feet below the floor of the nave. Lutherâs successor and fellow Reformer, Philip Melanchthon (1490â1560), is buried beside him. So also William Farel (1489â1565), who first called Calvin to Geneva in 1536, is buried in the cathedral of NeuchĂątel, where he spent the final years of his ministry. When Calvinâs friend and successor Theodore Beza died in 1605, he was buried next to the pulpit of St. Pierre, the Genevan church in which he and Calvin ministered together. But Calvinâs remains lie elsewhere. Rather than being interred in St. Pierre, Calvinâs body was carried outside the city wall to a marshy burial ground for commoners called Plainpalais. With close friends in attendance, Calvinâs body was wrapped in a simple shroud, enclosed in a rough casket, and lowered into the earth. Beza writes that Calvinâs plot was unlisted and, âas he [had] commanded, without any gravestone.â 3 Why did Calvin command that he be buried, contrary to common practice, in an unmarked grave? Some speculate that he wanted to discourage religious pilgrims from visiting his resting place or to prevent accusations from the Roman church that he desired veneration as a saint. 4  But the answer lies somewhere deeper â in Calvinâs understanding of Christian modesty. Forgotten Meaning of Modesty When we speak of modesty today, we most often mean dressing or behaving in such a way as to avoid impropriety or indecency. But modesty more generally refers to the quality of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of oneself. For centuries, the church understood the connection. Immodest dress was not simply ostentatious or sexually suggestive; it reflected an overemphasis on appearance. As Jesus warned, outward appearance can mask impiety (Matthew 6:16) or pride (Luke 18:12). This is why both Gentile women converts in Ephesus and the Jewish Christians addressed in Hebrews are urged to consider how their outward appearance relates to the disposition of the heart. Excessive adornment could be evidence of self-importance (1 Timothy 2:9). Acceptable worship requires a posture of reverence, not pretension (Hebrews 12:28). Thus, a modest person represents himself neither too highly nor too meanly because he understands both the dignity and the humility of being transformed by the grace of God. âModesty is simply the outward reflection of true Christian humility.â Modesty, then, is simply the outward reflection of true Christian humility. It obliterates pride by embracing the reality that a Christian is both creaturely and beloved. In this light, self-importance becomes absurd. Grandiosity becomes laughable. Celebrity becomes monstrous. We Are Not Our Own For Calvin, the gospel radically reshapes our view of self. As those created in Godâs image, provisioned by his goodness, redeemed by his mercy, transformed by his grace, and called to his mission, those who belong to Christ no longer live for themselves. âNow the great thing is this,â Calvin writes, âwe are consecrated and dedicated to God in order that we may thereafter think, speak, meditate, and do, nothing except to his glory.â Calvin continues, If we, then, are not our own but the Lordâs, it is clear what error we must flee and whither we must direct all the acts of our life. We are not our own : let not our reason nor our will, therefore, sway our plans and deeds. We are not our own : let us not therefore see it as our goal to seek what is expedient for us according to the flesh. We are not our own : in so far as we can, let us therefore forget ourselves and all that is ours. Conversely, we are Godâs : let us therefore live for him and die for him. We are Godâs : let his wisdom and will therefore rule all our actions. We are Godâs : let all the parts of our life accordingly strive toward him as our only lawful goal. Oh how much has that man profited who, having been taught that he is not his own, has taken away dominion and rule from his own reason that he may yield it to God! For, as consulting our self-interest is the pestilence that most effectively leads to our destruction, so the sole haven of salvation is to be wise in nothing through ourselves but to follow the leading of the Lord alone . 5 âModesty blossoms when we experience the freedom from having to prove ourselves to God or one another.â Modesty and humility flow from a heart transformed by the Spirit of Christ. âAs soon as we are convinced that God cares for us,â Calvin writes, âour minds are easily led to patience and humility.â 6  The Spirit shapes us with a kind of moderation that âgives the preference to othersâ and that guards us from being âeasily thrown into agitation.â 7  Modesty blossoms when we experience the freedom from having to prove ourselves to God or one another. âModesty, His Constant Friendâ Calvinâs life reflected this reality. Despite the doors that were opened to him through his writing and network of connections, he was committed to âstudiously avoiding celebrity.â 8  When the Institutes  was published in 1536, he was so successful in his object to ânot acquire fameâ that no one in Basel knew that he was its author. For the rest of his life, wherever he went, he took care to âconceal that I was the author of that performance.â 9  Calvin even sought to avoid a wider ministry in Geneva, having âresolved to continue in the same privacy and obscurity.â He was drawn into the limelight only when William Farel warned him âwith a dreadful imprecationâ that turning down the post would be refusing Godâs call to service. 10  In brief autobiographical comments he wrote the year that he died, we see a glimmer of his own surprise over Godâs sovereign hand through his life. God so led me about through different turnings and changes that he never permitted me to rest in any place, until, in spite of my natural disposition, he brought me forth to public notice. . . . I was carried, I know not how, as it were by force to the Imperial assemblies, where, willing or unwilling, I was under the necessity of appearing before the eyes of many. 11 It is no surprise, then, that a few days before his death, Calvin exhorted his friends to not be those who âostentatiously display themselves and, from overweening confidence, insist that all their opinions should be approved by others.â Instead, he pleaded with them to âconduct themselves with modesty, keeping far aloof from all haughtiness of mind.â 12  For Beza, Calvinâs modesty â forged by his vision of Godâs glory, Christâs redeeming love, and the Spiritâs animating power â was his defining characteristic. After Calvinâs burial, Beza captured it in verse: Why in this humble and unnoticed tomb Is Calvin laid â the dread of falling Rome; Mournâd by the good, and by the wicked fearâd By all who knew his excellence revered? From whom evân virtueâs self might virtue learn, And young and old its value may discern? âTwas modesty, his constant friend on earth, That laid this stone, unsculptured with a name; Oh! happy ground, enrichâd with Calvinâs worth, More lasting far than marble is thy fame! 13 Free to Be Forgotten In old Geneva, on the grounds of the college Calvin founded, stands an immense stone memorial to four leaders of the Protestant Reformation. At its center are towering reliefs of Calvin, Beza, Farel, and John Knox (1513â1572). Calvin would surely detest it. But the monument is a metaphor. We live in a culture that fears obscurity and irrelevance. We measure ourselves against others and build our own platforms in the hope that we will not be forgotten. We attempt to distinguish ourselves at the expense of the humility and modesty that honors Christ. Calvin would have us be free from such striving. For however anyone may be distinguished by illustrious endowments, he ought to consider with himself that they have not been conferred upon him that he might be self-complacent, that he might exalt himself, or even that he might hold himself in esteem. Let him, instead of this, employ himself in correcting and detecting his faults, and he will have abundant occasion for humility. In others, on the other hand, he will regard with honor whatever there is of excellences and will, by means of love, bury their faults. The man who will observe this rule, will feel no difficulty in preferring others before himself. And this, too, Paul meant when he added, that they ought not to have everyone a regard to themselves, but to their neighbors, or that they ought not to be devoted to themselves. Hence it is quite possible that a pious man, even though he should be aware that he is superior, may nevertheless hold others in greater esteem. 14 We may rightly regard Calvin as a hero of the faith, but he didnât ultimately see himself that way. Humility had taught him to walk modestly before God and others â and, in the end, the freedom to lie down in a forgotten grave. Theodore Beza, âThe Life of John Calvinâ in Tracts Related to the Reformation  (Edinburgh: Calvin Translation Society, 1844), 1:xcv. ⩠Beza, Tracts , 1:xcvi. ⩠Beza, Tracts , 1:xcvi. ⩠Eighteenth-century guidebooks indeed list the disused Plainpalais cemetery as an important stop for tourists, though they warn that pilgrims will search for Calvinâs resting place in vain. By the nineteenth century, keepers of the burial ground staked out a âlikely-enoughâ site for Calvinâs grave (complete with a rudimentary marker) simply to avoid the irritation of being so frequently asked. ⩠John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion , ed. John T. McNeill, trans. Ford Lewis Battles (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2011), 3.7.1 (emphasis mine). ⩠John Calvin, Commentaries on the Catholic Epistles , trans. John Owen (Edinburgh: T. Constable,1855), 149. ⩠John Calvin, Commentaries on the Epistles of Paul the Apostle to the Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians , trans. John Pringle (Edinburgh: T. Constable, 1851) 52â53. ⩠John Calvin, Commentary on the Psalms , trans. James Anderson (Edinburgh: Edinburg Printing Company, 1845), 1:xli, xlii. ⩠Calvin, Psalms , 1:xlii. ⩠Calvin, Psalms , 1:xlii. ⩠Calvin, Psalms , 1:xli, xliii. ⩠Beza, Tracts , 1:xci. ⩠Beza was widely known for his literary works. As a humanist, he became famous for his collection of Latin poems in Juvenilia , published just before his conversion in 1548. He continued to write poetry, satires, and dramas until the end of his life. Francis Sisbonâs nineteenth-century translation attempts to capture the sense of the Latin in a more familiar poetic form (Theodore Beza, The Life of John Calvin , trans. Francis Sibson, [Philadelphia: J. Whetham, 1836], 94). For the original text, see Calvin and Beza, Tracts , 1:xcvi. ⩠Calvin, Commentaries on the Epistles of Paul , 53. â©