Counselling Skills And Theory Order Printed Copy

Author: Margaret Hough
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About the Book

"Counselling Skills and Theory" by Margaret Hough is a comprehensive guide to the fundamental theories and practical skills necessary for effective counseling. The book covers essential topics such as listening skills, empathy, building rapport, and understanding theoretical approaches to counseling. It provides valuable insights and strategies for both aspiring and experienced counselors looking to enhance their practice.

Francis Schaeffer

Francis Schaeffer was a pioneer in the field of apologetics and the development of a Christian response to the anti-supernaturalism which dominated western thought in the 20th century. He worked out a biblical and evangelical philosophy which proved to be a challenging alternative to emptiness and despair which characterised secular Europe at that time. Schaeffer also understood that the cultural shift was especially reflected in the arts and was able to help a number of us who were trying to develop a Christian approach to creativity in these influential areas of life. Here, Ray Evans, of Grace Community Church, Bedford, provides us with a brief overview of Schaeffer's contribution to Christian thought and action. Francis Schaeffer became one of the most influential Christian leaders of the twentieth century. He came from a humble working-class background in Philadelphia, studied under Gresham Machen at Westminster Seminary for a while, was the pastor of some small churches in the USA, and then spent most of his life in Europe, to which he had come at the end of World War 2 as a missionary. Never seeking 'fame' or 'a name', God used him to help his church at a time when she faced, and still faces, the massive challenges brought about wherever western culture and 'worldview' have spread. Married to Edith, and blessed with four children of their own, the Schaeffers settled in total obscurity in Switzerland. Initially they lived at Champéry, but the Roman Catholic officials of that canton requested they leave and they moved to what became their home for many years, the tiny village of Huémoz in the canton of Vaud. The thrilling story of how God opened the way for them to move there and start the distinctive ministry called 'L'Abri' (French for 'Shelter') is told in a book of that name. It is a 'must read' book! They were determined to demonstrate several things in the ministry of L'Abri. First there was to be a true outworking of trust and dependence on God in all circumstances - a demonstration that the unseen supernatural world really exists. So, for example, they committed themselves to prayer, asking that God would send the individuals to them that would find their ministry helpful, and that God would provide all necessary resources of money, housing personnel and so on. They saw, and the work continues to see, real and powerful answers because, as he would often say, 'God is there'. Francis' book 'True Spirituality' (again another superbly helpful book) was born out of the desire to show what really living a Christian life looks like when we 'moment by moment rely on the ministry of the Holy Spirit, who is given to us because of the finished work of Christ on the cross'. Then they wanted to demonstrate that Christianity has true and reasonable answers to the questions of the human heart. He, Edith and the growing family of children (which in time included sons-in-law such as the author Ranald Macaulay) found themselves inundated with young people that 'God sent'; people with dark confusion in their minds and deep hurts and problems in their souls. Too often Schaeffer was written off because others caricatured him as 'an intellectual' and not 'earthed' in real life. Perhaps this was because some of his earliest books that were released to the general public ('The God Who is There', 'Escape from Reason', and 'He is There and He is not Silent') grappled with the 'big ideas' that hugely affect modern Western life. These ideas were not couched in conventional religious terms, or they were ideas that most pastors would avoid. Yet young people in large numbers found someone who could talk their language and could demonstrate that the Bible had answers that made sense, and which met our deepest spiritual needs. He wrote several books and preached many messages (these are still available through the L'Abri tape ministry), that are great examples of Biblical exposition. One of my favourites is 'Joshua and the Flow of Biblical History' which gives a flavour of what it must have been like to sit under his clear thinking mind and pastorally warm heart. The answers that he showed the Bible gives have stood several generations of evangelical Christians in good stead as they in turn seek to help modern people understand the gospel and feel its power. The Schaeffers also wanted to show that Christianity is not 'dehumanising' but makes us what we should be - 'whole' people in true 'community' with one another. This community life will never be perfect (he used to say "If it's perfection or nothing, it will always be nothing in this life"), but there can be real and substantial 'healing' - in our innermost being, in our relationships with one another, with the wider world, and with the environment. L'Abri and each local church/community of Christians should be like a 'pilot plant' which shows what life could be like when the primary relationship - that with our Maker - is restored on the basis of 'the finished work of Christ plus nothing'. Too often the church has ended up being nothing more than a conventional institution where religiosity, and not vibrant Christianity, is dominant. His was a clarion call to true reformation and genuine spirituality. Later in life, Schaeffer turned in his speaking and writing to some of the big moral challenges of our age. Years before others woke up to the problems, he could see where dominant secularism was taking whole cultures: to the devaluing of human life both at its beginning and at its end; to a proud and defiant declaration of 'autonomy' in our sexuality; to a creeping compromise in the church about God's authoritative and trustworthy revelation (what he called 'true truth' [true in all that it affirms about history and science and not just in the 'spiritual ideas']); and to a general malaise in the population as a whole where the majority would settle for 'personal peace and affluence'. He predicted that most would put up with any amount of moral change and evil as long as it was 'Not In My Back Yard' and as long as there was ongoing material prosperity to keep filling the dull ache of the soul. The 'Christian base' which for so long had informed Western thinking and public life would become only a folk memory as secularism gradually became dominant. The ruling elites, who are in place in all areas of the culture - politics and the bureaucracy of the modern state, the judiciary, the universities, the arts and media - have their thinking and action informed by a 'worldview' where the God of the Bible and our Lord and Saviour are relegated to 'personal prejudice only'. He is not allowed to influence anything significant according to this outlook. Indeed that 'tolerance of a belief in God' can soon become an antipathy to any mention of his claims on us, and that can get enshrined in public law and attitudes. All this sounds familiar now doesn't it, but it was almost unthinkable when he spoke about it in the 60s and 70s. Tragically we are now living with many of the consequences he so powerfully preached and wrote about. Though some of his writings now feel a bit dated (he used lots of contemporary illustrations to show his main points were anchored in 'real life'), many of them are still enormously helpful. They are biblical, sane, wise and insightful. They are passionate, heartfelt and godly. They are full of lament at sin, and sorrow at 'lostness'; they are deeply imbued with love for God and Christ, and tender towards needy people. They are still a timely and necessary cry we should listen to. Too many others who have written on similar 'cultural analysis themes' lack Schaeffer's all round spiritual credibility. In a short life where one cannot hope to 'read everything' that Francis and Edith have written would repay the one who takes the trouble to delve into them handsomely. God greatly blessed this 'man and wife team', and they have put many of us in their debt as they shared those blessings in a life of gracious Christian self-giving. May you go on to prove that in your experience too as you learn from these faithful servants of their risen Lord. From Grace Maggazine,

to men who want to marry - how to prepare to lead well

A few months into our marriage, it dawned on me: I was unprepared, as though I had studied for the wrong exam. Before our wedding, I had thought daily devotions, church and small group, and premarital counseling would sufficiently prepare me to be a godly husband. They did not. After a short season of bliss, we began to struggle and argue. So much, in fact, that our counselor literally sat between us and warned us we were in danger of fulfilling Galatians 5:15: “If you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.” My lack of preparation showed up in other ways too. I didn’t understand how to lead my wife spiritually, bring up hard conversations, or help us reconcile after an argument. My status as a seminary student and pastoral intern added layers of shame. Worst of all, I had no idea how to make our marriage better. I now know that we were not alone in our experience. My wife and I have walked with many Christian women who are deeply frustrated by the relative lack of marriage-ready Christian men, as well as with many Christian men who either don’t know they need to prepare or have no idea how. If I could go back and give my younger, not-yet-married self some advice, I’d tell him men need a good plan as they prepare for marriage. More specifically, I’d tell him to pursue God above all else and work on growing as a leader, provider, and protector. Pursue God Above All Else Preparing well for marriage begins with regular encounters with God — seeing him in Scripture for who he is in all his glory, greatness, and grace. No matter how many times we’ve read through the Bible, we need to be continually captivated by God again and again. “Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable” (Psalm 145:3). Similarly, the apostle Paul urges us to follow his example and “count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:8). “Preparing well for marriage begins with regular encounters with God.” As C.S. Lewis famously phrased it, God invites us to “come further up and further in.” An ever-expanding view of God is worth more than a million tips and hacks for marriage. Most of us, however, have had the experience of reading our Bibles and feeling cold and unmoved. Therefore, we meditate on the Bible, slowing down to think about and pray over what we read. When we do, God often brings a new sweetness to our souls. As Psalm 1:2 says, “His delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” In our distracted age, meditation will be a battle. But we can strive to read our Bibles during our best discretionary time, the time when we are most rested and unhurried. For many of us, this will be first thing in the morning. Before you begin reading, ask God to make something glorious stand out to you. “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law” (Psalm 119:18). When he answers that prayer, slow down and feast. Lead, Provide, and Protect Preparing well for marriage begins with pursuing God, but it certainly doesn’t end there. Pursuing God provides the strength and fuel men need to keep growing into God’s calling as leaders, providers, and protectors. “Pursuing God provides the strength and fuel men need to keep growing into God’s calling.” God clearly calls men, not just husbands, to these kinds of responsibilities in Scripture. While marriage radically narrows and heightens the responsibilities of leading, providing, and protecting, it does not create them. Before Eve’s creation or the fall, God established Adam as a leader by creating him first, as a provider by commanding him to “work and keep” the garden (Genesis 2:15), and as a protector by commanding him to avoid the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:17). Every man can practice and grow into these callings now, even before he gets married. In particular, the church is an especially good place for a young man to cultivate the kind of responsibility and initiative that will be required of him in marriage. So what are ways for single men to learn to lead, provide, and protect within the church? 1. Grow As a Leader As a husband, a man will be tasked with sacrificially leading his wife (Ephesians 5:22). God will call him to become the kind of Christlike leader a godly woman can follow wholeheartedly, even as the church follows Christ. Paul says, “The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Ephesians 5:23). Practically, men can grow into this kind of sacrificial leadership by cultivating humble initiative. As both Lion and Lamb (Revelation 5:5–6), Jesus embodies both strength and humility. While Christian men are being renewed, we are still drawn toward arrogant initiative (like Joab in 2 Samuel 3:26–27) or selfish passivity (like Adam in Genesis 3:6). With the help of others, we can see our own particular tendencies, repent, and seek grace to grow in concrete ways. For instance, a man characterized by pride might invite trusted friends to plainly point out selfishness they observe. A man who leans toward selfish passivity might take the initiative to greet people sitting alone at church, rather than merely moving toward those he already knows. 2. Grow As a Provider As a husband, a man will be called to another form of leadership: primary provision for his family. Paul makes this plain in Ephesians 5:28–29: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” Just as a man provides for his own needs, God calls him to provide for his wife. This does not mean the husband will be the home’s only breadwinner, or even that he will necessarily earn more than his wife. It simply means he will take ultimate responsibility to ensure his family’s physical and spiritual needs are met. Unmarried men can begin applying this by working hard for the right reasons (Proverbs 14:23; Colossians 3:23–24). Are we essentially working to fund hobbies, experiences, and vacations? Or, believing God has called us to meaningful work, are we actively, tangibly using it to love him and others? 3. Grow As a Protector In marriage, God calls men to accept danger, as necessary, to protect their wives, a third critical dimension of a husband’s calling. Jesus set the ultimate example for men by giving up his life on the cross for his bride’s sanctification (Ephesians 5:25), thereby protecting us from God’s eternal judgment (John 3:36). This does not mean men are fearless or more courageous than their wives. Instead, it involves a willingness, like Jesus in Gethsemane (Luke 22:40), to protect others even if we’re afraid ourselves. Christian men will not need to search very far for opportunities to practice protection. We are surrounded by injustice and people at risk. It’s easy — like the Levite and priest in the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25–37) — to look the other way, but godly men learn to step in. One man I know, for example, keeps granola bars in his car for homeless people, and looks for opportunities to serve and engage them. You might also take the risk to speak up on behalf of others who are being slandered or treated unfairly because of their Christian beliefs. More than that, however, godly men understand protecting others from an eternity without Christ is the greatest service they can render. Such spiritual protection requires a deep belief in God ourselves, and a willingness to accept resistance when we speak the truth in love — as, for example, when we gently warn non-Christian friends of their spiritual danger (1 Peter 3:15) or confront other Christians about their sin (Matthew 18:15–17). Find a Husband to Follow While seeking God first and leaning into his callings for us as men is critical, it’s immensely helpful to find a godly married man to disciple you (1 Corinthians 11:1; 2 Timothy 2:2). Proactively find someone you admire who’s willing to be transparent, and ask to spend time with him and his family. Ask him what he’s learned from the successes and failures in his marriage, and consider how you might incorporate those lessons even now. As men, all of us are called to run hard after Christ (Philippians 3:8–12), regardless of whether we marry one day. But as we pursue Christ and grow as leaders, providers, and protectors, we will be more prepared to date — and ultimately, marry — a godly woman, if God wills.