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"Wired for Intimacy" by William M. Struthers explores the impact of pornography on the brain and relationships. The book discusses how pornography can rewire the brain, damage relationships, and hinder intimacy. Struthers offers insights on how to break free from pornography addiction and cultivate healthy relationships.

Elizabeth Elliot

Elizabeth Elliot “I have one desire now – to live a life with reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my strength and energy into it.” Elisabeth Elliot, an inspirational woman who remained faithful to God, and the calling he had laid on her heart, through many trials and tribulations. ELISABETH’S EARLY YEARS Elisabeth Elliot was born on December 27, 1926 in Brussels, Belgium, where her parents served as missionaries. Before she was a year old they moved to America to Germantown, Pennsylvania, outside of Philadelphia. Her family grew when they came to America, and Elisabeth gained four younger brothers and one younger sister. While they lived in Germantown, Elisabeth’s father was the editor for the Sunday School Times, which was a weekly journal that contained Sunday School lessons that were used simultaneously in several Sunday School classrooms to keep the teaching and learning cohesive in churches throughout the country. CALLING TO ECUADOR A true pioneer in the world of Christianity, Elisabeth went to Wheaton College and studied Greek, because she desired to translate the Bible for the remote regions in the world. While at the college, she met Jim Elliot. After graduation, Elisabeth went on a missionary expedition to Ecuador with other students from Wheaton, including Jim Elliot. In the first year of their missionary journey, Jim and Elisabeth worked in different regions. A year after entering Ecuador, Jim joined Elisabeth in the Quichua Indian tribe. In 1953, Jim and Elisabeth were married and continued to serve in Ecuador. They had a daughter, Valerie Elliot Shepard. When the Auca tribe in Eastern Ecuador killed Jim Elliot and his missionary partners, Elisabeth refused to give up on the people in that tribe. She continued to live in the region with her daughter and Rachel Saint, the sister of another one of the missionaries that the Auca tribe killed. They lived among the Quichua tribe. While living in the Quichua tribe, two Auca women lived with Elisabeth for one year. During that year of living with the two Auca women, Elisabeth came to understand why the tribe killed her husband and the other missionaries. The tribe feared that outsiders were going to come into their tribe and take away their freedom. With that understanding, Elisabeth and Rachel Saint were able to go to the Auca tribe and build relationships with them. They led the people of the tribe to Jesus. The tribe saw and understood the forgiveness and grace that Elisabeth and Rachel extended to them. Elisabeth wrote two books while she lived in Ecuador that contained her experiences and Jim’s experiences with the Auca tribe. She wrote Through the Gates of Splendor, which gives an account of her and Jim’s experiences with the Auca tribe. ELISABETH’S RETURN TO AMERICA After spending two years with the Auca, Elisabeth came to America with her daughter in 1963. Elisabeth and her daughter, Valerie lived in New Hampshire when they returned to America. Elisabeth met Addison Leitch, a theologian professor at Gordon Conwell University, and was thrilled to marry him in 1969. During their marriage, Addison and Elisabeth toured the United States with speaking engagements. Elisabeth never limited her message to women. She would inspire other Christians to live their lives, both men and women, with a passion to live for God. Four years after they were married in 1973, Addison lost his battle with cancer and died. Valerie was thirteen when Elisabeth married Addison and was excited that God gave her a “Daddy.” When he died, Valerie was devastated to lose the father that she knew. She knew about Jim Elliot her biological father, but she knew Addison as a father who was present with her. ELISABETH’S LOVE REDEEMED After Leitch’s death, Elisabeth had two lodgers in her home. One of the lodgers married her daughter, and the other lodger, Lars Gren, married Elisabeth. Lars Gren was a hospital chaplain. Lars and Elisabeth were married until her death. At the age of 89, on June 15, 2015 Elisabeth Elliot died. As her soul resides in heaven, her legacy lives on earth with her writings and stories. ELISABETH ELLIOT’S BELIEFS ON FEMINISM Elisabeth was never afraid to tell where the woman’s place was. She believed that women in the military needed to be in non-combative places because they would be needed at home, even if they were single. Also, she believed strongly that a married woman, especially to a pastor, was to support his ministry and not begin her own career. Her beliefs came because she counseled so many women whose marriages were falling apart because the women insisted on working outside of the home. Also, she studied the Bible and understood what it meant for women. Elisabeth didn’t like addressing the issue, but she was very bold and forthright in her answers. Elisabeth knew how to answer the question of women speaking in the church. She declined speaking on Sunday mornings to a congregation. If she were asked to speak at a Sunday School class or another meeting at a church, she would only oblige if a man who was a leader turned over the meeting to her. She understood the Bible to be clear that women are not to usurp authority over men. She knew that the Bible didn’t discriminate between Sunday mornings and Sunday evenings, but she also knew that she could not usurp authority over men. Her beliefs gained her respect, and men and women listened to her and read her books. BOOKS WRITTEN BY ELISABETH ELLIOT In her lifetime, Elisabeth wrote and published twenty-four books. She continued to travel and speak all over America sharing her story, her knowledge, and wisdom of God’s Word until her health stopped her in 2004. Her most popular books were Through the Gates of Splendor and Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under God’s Control. Through the Gates of Splendor tells the story of Jim Elliot and their encounter with the tribes in Ecuador that eventually took his life. Passion and Purity: Your Life Under God’s Control is a book that deals with dating for single Christians and how to honor God in their romantic relationships. It was published in 1984. In a world where everyone is doing whatever they please, she gives her own examples of love, heartache with the deaths of her husbands, and romance with all of them, while maintaining a pure relationship with them and before God. Elisabeth used her theological knowledge in her books and speeches. QUOTES FROM ELISABETH ELLIOT “God never denies our hearts’ desire except to give us something better.” “I have one desire now—to live a life with reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my strength and energy into it.” “Leave it all in the Hands that were wounded for you.” “Fear arises when we imagine that everything depends on us.” “We cannot give our lives to God and keep our bodies to ourselves.” “And underneath are the everlasting arms.”

Comparison Is a Key to Godliness

Too often, I’ve bought the lie. The one the Western world shouts (and the one our sinful ears itch to hear): “Never compare, just be you. Contentment is only found within yourself.” The lie is especially sweet because it allows us to hide our lack of spiritual fruit. It’s tempting to dismiss our need for personal sanctification when we’re preoccupied with the comfort of self-confidence. Even when those lies don’t seduce us, we can still make the mistake of believing that repentance of sinful comparison — the kind that puffs up or beats down — means rejecting all comparison. But we don’t need to fear or avoid comparison, because it is often the means by which God helps us grow. Godly comparison isn’t about keeping up with someone else’s standard, or replicating another’s life, or hustling until we feel better about ourselves. It’s not about running harder on the treadmill of self-improvement, futilely seeking self-worth in our next accomplishment. Godly comparison isn’t ultimately about us. It’s about celebrating and learning from God’s grace at work in others so that we might better love and glorify God. God Compares for Our Good In Genesis, God compared two brothers who brought him an offering. He had regard for Abel’s offering and rejected Cain’s. When Cain responded in anger, revealing the hardness of his heart, God graciously appealed for him to “do well” and beware the lurking beast of sin. In love, he wanted Cain to follow in the righteous footsteps of his brother, who gave the very best of his flock out of devotion to God. Instead of learning from Abel, Cain killed him (Genesis 4:1–8). But, you may say, that was before Jesus! We do not earn his love with offerings. Through faith, we’re clothed in his righteousness. We are saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. Yes, but saving faith in Christ does not produce complacency in character. Jesus told his disciples to follow the examples of others. While sitting in a synagogue, he called them and directed their attention to a poor widow as she placed two copper coins into the offering basket. Contrasting her giving with the wealthy, he declared that she had given more. Though poor, she had given everything she had, demonstrating that her ultimate treasure was God himself (Mark 12:41–44). Jesus also taught us by comparing two sisters. As Martha busied herself with preparations and grumbled to Jesus over Mary’s lack of help, he responded that Mary had chosen better by remaining at his feet. His tender correction wasn’t meant to burden this weary woman with heavy expectations, but to demonstrate what Mary already knew to be true — it’s better to treasure Jesus than to merely toil for him (Luke 10:38–42). When God makes comparisons, it’s not so that we’ll be crushed or condemned, but so that more of our hearts will be captured by him. Comparing for Our Godliness We’ve been saved into one body: the church. This body is made up of many members, each with a distinct function (Romans 12:4–5). God’s glory is too vast and magnificent for a family of cookie-cutter Christians. He intends for all of us — with our different personalities and talents, backgrounds and stories, strengths and weaknesses — to display glimpses of his infinite goodness to the world. Our differences, of every kind, underline his worth in ways sameness cannot. However, while God hasn’t called us to sameness, he has called us all to holiness. As all the parts of our body move in the same direction when we walk, the church in all its diversity moves together toward Christ. One way God helps us become holy is by surrounding us with Christians who imitate him in ways that we don’t yet. These differences are a part of God’s gracious plan to conform us into the image of his Son. He has always intended for us to be sharpened by one another’s examples. That’s why Paul unashamedly told the Corinthian church to be imitators of him as he was of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). It’s why Paul instructed Titus to be a model of good works (Titus 2:7) and Timothy to set an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity (1 Timothy 4:12). It’s why Paul spread the word of the Macedonian church’s generosity amidst their affliction (2 Corinthians 8). The body won’t grow in holiness unless there’s godly, humble, and hope-filled comparison and imitation. Our altars of autonomy must be overthrown. Just as Cain should have learned from Abel, just as Martha had to learn from Mary, just as the Corinthian church learned from the Macedonians, we need to learn from one another. How Should We Compare? As we compare, it’s helpful to focus on principles more than particulars. For example, I struggle to practice biblical hospitality, so I look to those who excel — imitating them as they imitate Christ. In doing this, I remind myself there’s freedom to extend hospitality in different ways. My mother-in-law invites people without nearby relatives to holiday gatherings. My siblings and friends have brought foster children into their families. My friend from small group recently had a Mormon missionary over to discuss faith. Rather than feeling daunted by their examples, God is helping me celebrate and learn from them. How might the Christ living in and through them live in and through my hospitality? Rather than ignoring or making excuses for my weakness, I am stirred to grow, obey, and even enjoy hospitality. In areas where we’re stronger, we should still humbly position ourselves to learn from others. I’m far more gifted in mercy than in hospitality, and love using my time and resources to care for those in need. Yet I still need to grow. I want the depth of compassion my friend Brenda has for prostitutes where we live. I want my brother’s heart for the addicted, and his boldness to declare the gospel to those in hopeless situations. The Spirit frees us to boldly and expectantly compare. Who stirs you to treasure Christ more? Who possesses godliness you lack? Who lives passionately for the mission? Consider their examples and identify ways in which you want to imitate them. The same God at work in their strengths will be faithful to slowly refine and transform your weaknesses. Article by Amy DiMarcangelo

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