When Life's Not Working - 7 Simple Choices Order Printed Copy

Author: Bob Merritt
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About the Book

"When Life's Not Working - 7 Simple Choices" by Bob Merritt offers practical advice and guidance for finding hope and peace in times of difficulty. The author presents seven key choices that can help individuals navigate through challenges and improve their overall well-being. Through real-life stories, biblical teachings, and personal reflections, Merritt inspires readers to make positive changes and take control of their lives. Ultimately, the book encourages readers to trust in God's plan and embrace a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

John Owen

John Owen’s life was incredibly difficult. Born in 1616 and dying in 1683, Owen lived through the deaths of his first wife and all of his children, several of whom died in very early childhood. He supported his last surviving daughter when her marriage broke down. He contributed to a political revolution, watched it fail, saw the monarchy restored and wreak a terrible revenge on republicans, and lived in and around London during the persecution that followed. For twenty years he would have seen the decapitated heads of his friends on display around the city. He died fearing that the dissenting churches had largely abandoned the doctrine of the Trinity and justification by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone; and, with Charles II about to be replaced by his openly Catholic brother James, believing that the English Reformation was almost over. Owen was one of the most published writers in the seventeenth century. He published around 8 million words. These writings included books on theology and spirituality, politics and economics, and ranged in length from the largest commentary ever published on the epistle to the Hebrews to a short Latin poem that has never been reprinted. For not all of Owen’s works have been kept in print. The most widely circulating nineteenth-century edition, most of which is published by the Banner of Truth, did not include Owen’s sermon manuscripts that are kept in various English libraries, nor the book for children that Owen published in 1652. Owen was one of England’s earliest children’s authors. The catechisms that Owen published (1645) outlined what he expected children in his congregation to know. These catechisms were published before the Westminster Assembly published its better-known examples. But Owen’s catechisms are in many ways simpler. The Primer (1652), which Owen prepared after the death of several of his children during the years of poor harvests and disease at the end of the 1640s, showed what Owen expected of an ideal Christian home. Its routine would be built around Bible reading and prayer, he believed, and his little book included sample prayers that children could learn to pray in mornings, evenings, and at meals. Owen argued that those who led church services should take account of the needs of children. Services that were too long, he believed, did no one any good. Adult believers should not need written prayers, he believed, and these should be banned from public worship. But children were different and needed all the help they could get. Owen enjoyed many warm friendships. His social network included many of the most famous writers in seventeenth-century England. Among his friends and rivals were John Milton, Andrew Marvell, John Bunyan, and Lucy Hutchinson. Owen fell out with Milton and became the subject of one of his sonnets. Owen helped Marvell publish one of his most controversial political pamphlets. He encouraged his publisher, Nathanial Ponder, to publish Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress. And he appears to have supported Lucy Hutchinson during her move into London, when she attended and took notes upon his preaching and translated large parts of his Theologoumena Pantodapa (1661)—a translation of which has been published with the title Biblical Theology. Owen’s letters reveal his kindness and care as a pastor, especially to mothers grieving their children’s death. Owen was deeply political. He preached to Members of Parliament on the day after the execution of Charles I, and pinned his hopes for the reformation of church and society on their efforts to transform England into a protestant republic. During the 1650s, under the leadership of Oliver Cromwell, Owen served on important committees that sought to establish a religious foundation for the new regime. But he grew dismayed by the ways in which the Cromwell family, and the administration they led, seemed to turn away from godly values. In 1658, he worked with leading army officers to create a crisis that, he likely hoped, would call the regime back to its earlier ideals. It failed, and instead created the crisis that was resolved by the restoration of the monarchy, the return of Charles II, and the persecution of dissenters that followed. During the Restoration, Owen kept his head down, and, as persecution slackened in the later 1660s, published pamphlets that argued that dissenters were the economic lifeblood of the English nation. But he was chastened by his attempts at political intervention and came increasingly to realize that his focus should be on things eternal. Owen often changed his mind. As his developing attitudes to political intervention suggest, Owen committed himself to some beliefs and behaviors that he came to regret. In his early years, he changed his churchmanship from Presbyterianism to Congregationalism. He innovated as a Congregationalist, installing as a co-elder and preacher a man who would not be ordained for several years. He argued for the weekly celebration of the Lord’s Supper, though it is not clear that he ever persuaded any of his congregations to practice it. He thought carefully about the end times and came to believe that, in the latter days, a large number of Jewish people would be converted to Christianity and would return to live in the Promised Land. He dismissed a great deal of discussion about the millennium, but became convinced that the binding of Satan had yet to be achieved. Owen changed his mind because he kept on studying the Bible. Owen was biblical, through and through, and depended just as much on the Holy Spirit. He certainly believed in a learned ministry–after all, he had taught theology at Oxford and done his best to promote godliness within the student body. But he also trusted the Holy Spirit to guide ordinary Christians in small group Bible studies that did not need to be policed by a formally trained expert. Aside from his own Bible study, which advanced on the serious scholarship represented by the three thousand titles that were included in the catalog of his library published soon after his death, Owen encouraged church members to meet together to study Scripture in private. Owen trusted the Bible and the work of the Spirit after writing about both. Owen was not a philosophically-driven, rationalist theologian. His writing abounds in biblical citations. It is molded and contoured by biblical revelation. But he warned that Christians could approach their study of the Bible with absolutely no spiritual advantage to themselves. Christians who approached the study of the Bible without absolute dependence upon the Spirit who inspired and preserved it would gain no more benefit than Jewish readers did from their Scriptures, he argued. Christians should never choose between entire dependence upon the Bible and the Spirit. Owen believed that the goal of the Christian life was knowing God. Before Owen, no one had ever shown clearly how Christians relate to each person of the Trinity. Owen described the goal of the gospel as revealing the love of the Father, who sent the Son as a redeemer of his people, who would be indwelt, provided with gifts, and united together by the Spirit. Owen’s Communion with God is among his most celebrated achievements—and no wonder. It is the exhalation of his devotion to Father, Son, and Spirit, and the discovery of the limitless love of God. Owen is much easier to read than many people imagine. There is a mystique to Owen—a widespread feeling that his books are too difficult and best left to expert theologians. But Owen’s greatest books were written as sermons for an audience of teenagers. Publishers have begun to modernize Owen’s language in new editions of his works. Now more than ever, it’s time to pick up Owen and find his encouragement for the Christian life.

‘One Another’ Your One and Only

What’s your favorite charge, or piece of counsel, you have heard in a wedding homily? Any Christian minister who has performed a wedding knows the challenge and opportunity of that moment. We have a precious few minutes to capture the moment and hang out a vision for the newlyweds to pursue for the rest of their days. On more than one occasion, I have surprised the couple with this charge: “Enjoy this day with everything you have, and when it is over, in one way, pretend like it never happened.” You can probably imagine their facial expressions. If it weren’t such a formal moment, I’m sure they would interrupt, “What do you mean, ‘Pretend like it never happened’? We’ve been waiting for this day for so long!” After a brief pause to allow their curiosity to grow, I go on to explain the wisdom behind my intentionally provocative words. The key to understanding the charge is in the phrase “in one way.” Kissing Pursuit Goodbye I am not charging couples to pretend like their wedding day never happened in every way, or even in most ways. Marriage brings many new and wonderful realities that are to be embraced with joyful seriousness. That said, I have observed that kissing the bride is often followed by kissing goodbye a way of loving each other. For so many, the wedding day marks the end of a way of relating that can be best characterized as the pursuit. While the specific practices may differ from one couple to another, the principle often remains the same: the dating days are characterized by a pursuit of the one we love, but as the months and years pass, the pursuit sadly gets left behind. It’s often replaced by a new “married” way of relating that could be characterized as existing together. This far-too-common pattern of relating can be summarized: Pursue. Catch. Exist. “Kissing the bride is often followed by kissing goodbye a way of loving each other.” While this dynamic of existing together often becomes the norm, what if there were another way? What if the transition from singleness to marriage should be and could be summarized differently? Consider this: Pursue. Catch. Pursue. I choose the phrases “should be” and “could be” because I am convinced that many spouses either lack a vision for why they should keep pursuing each other or they lack practical help in how to make it a reality (or both!). Why We Pursue Before rushing to discuss how we love one another, the Christian spouse would be well served to first clarify why. This question finds its answer in the way we are loved by God. God’s love for us establishes the bullseye for how we seek to love one another. We are called to love just as God loves us (John 13:15; Ephesians 4:32; 5:29). And this is clear: we are loved by a pursue-catch-pursue God. David captured God’s never-ending pursuit when he declared, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow [or pursue] me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6). David rejoices in the reality that God’s pursuit wasn’t only to get him into his house, but it continues while he lives there. The apostle Paul gives an even longer view of the “hound of heaven” when he declares that for all eternity God will be showing “the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:7). Our God is ever in pursuit, and we are to follow his lead in the way we love — and first and foremost in the way we love our spouse. It’s worth clarifying that our goal is reflection, not perfection. None of us can perfectly love a spouse like Jesus does in all ways and at all times. While perfection is not the expectation, Spirit-filled followers of Christ should expect to consistently grow in our ability to reflect the love of God to our one and only. Consistent over Elaborate When I encourage couples to keep pursuing each other, I can already hear the objections, as if the idea is something out of a fairy tale, rather than one rooted in reality. “We can’t do that.” “We don’t have the time or the money for that.” “We have jobs, kids, responsibilities, and more often than not feel like we are being crushed each day.” “There’s just no way we can pursue one another like when we were dating and engaged.” These objections might be more valid if the call were to consistently pursue each other in elaborate ways. While elaborate pursuits have their place in a marriage, that’s not the first type of pursuit that couples should focus on. To put it in a phrase: consistent is greater than elaborate. Think about the love ethos of your marriage like building a fire. Before we add the large (elaborate) pieces of firewood, we first build a base of heat through placing many tiny sticks, twigs, and leaves. In fact, if we try to place a large piece of firewood too early, it will do the opposite of what we want. Instead of igniting the fire, it will put it out. The same is true in our marriages. When we neglect the small and consistent daily acts of pursuit, our elaborate attempts will often backfire. (Yes, I speak from personal experience.) The marriage that keeps the fire burning through each passing age and life stage is one in which both spouses commit to consistently, even daily, pursue one another. Little More Kindness Many spouses think too much about pursuing in elaborate ways and too little about consistent, everyday expressions of love. Our consumer-driven society leads us to focus on holidays and special days, when what our marriages often need most is a little more kindness and thoughtfulness each and every day. What if the missing piece in your marriage has little to do with figuring out how to love your spouse differently than everyone else? What if the secret to a better marriage is in learning to love your spouse just like you are called to love everyone else? I have often heard people say, “The Bible doesn’t give much guidance about marriage.” While the Bible may not speak exclusively about the relationship between husbands and wives as often as we’d like, it says a great deal about how we are to treat one another in Christ. God has given us dozens of specific “one another” commands in the mouth of Jesus and the letters of the apostles. He calls us to be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32), serve one another (Galatians 5:13), forgive one another (Colossians 3:13), encourage one another (Hebrews 3:13), honor one another (Romans 12:10), live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16), pray for one another (James 5:16), and submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21) — just to name a few. “Husbands and wives, you are called to ‘one another’ your ‘one and only.’” Husbands and wives, you are called to one-another your one-and-only. These small, seemingly simple expressions of intentional and authentic interest in your spouse, expressed consistently over time, can radically alter the culture of your marriage. First Steps Toward Each Other Sadly, many spouses seem content to take the “one another” commands out into the world during the day, but then leave them on the front porch as they walk into the home. How tragic would it be to have a Christian home with defined callings for husband and wife but without consistent and discernible Christlike love? God does not mean for a few explicit passages about marriage to replace all of God’s commands for how we treat one another. No, our one-and-only should be the first person we one-another. Our marriage love will be kindled by first committing to love our special one as we are called to love everyone. For many of us, this process begins with repentance. We have demanded to receive one-and-only love from our spouse, yet neglected to give one-another love to our spouse. If this is you, seek God’s help, ask your spouse to forgive you, and find a list of the “one another” commands in the New Testament. Read prayerfully over them and look for a few that the Holy Spirit presses on your heart to begin focusing on even this week. As you begin to one-another your one-and-only, you will be laying kindling and blowing oxygen on the fires of your marriage. Article by Matt Bradner