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"Let Go Of Whatever Holds You Back" by John Mason is a motivational self-help book that encourages readers to identify and release the things in their lives that are holding them back from achieving their full potential. Through practical advice, inspiring anecdotes, and thought-provoking insights, the book empowers readers to let go of fear, negativity, and self-limiting beliefs in order to live a more fulfilling and successful life.

David Wilkerson

David Wilkerson BEGINNINGS Christian evangelist, David Ray Wilkerson was born May 19 1931 in Hammond, Indiana. He was born into a family of Pentecostal Christian preachers; both his father and paternal grandfather were ministers. David was baptized with the Holy Spirit at the age of thirteen and began to preach when he was fourteen. After high school he entered the Central Bible College (affiliated with the Assemblies of God) in Springfield, Missouri. In 1952 he was ordained as a minister. CALLED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT, MOVED WITH COMPASSION Wilkerson married his wife, Gwen in 1953 and served as a pastor in small churches in Scottdale and Philipsburg, Pennsylvania, during the early years of their marriage. But his life changed drastically in 1958 when he was brought to tears after looking at a pen drawing of seven New York City teenagers in Life Magazine. The article detailed the court trial of these young boys, charged with murder. Cross and the Switchblade The boys were members of a teenage gang called the Dragons who were accused of brutally attacking and killing Michael Farmer, a fifteen-year-old who had polio. Two days later, after hearing a clear call from the Holy Spirit telling him “Go to New York City and help those boys”, Wilkerson arrived at the courthouse in New York City. His plan was to ask the judge for permission to talk to the boys to share God’s love with them. The judge refused his request and Wilkerson was removed from the courtroom. He returned home, but his quiet country life was about to change – forever. NICKY CRUZ: “JESUS LOVES YOU, NICKY” Wilkerson returned to New York one day each week, driving over 350 miles from his home in Pennsylvania. He sought God’s direction while walking the streets, preaching, and meeting with gang members and drug addicts. David soon met Nicky Cruz, warlord of Brooklyn gang – the Mau Maus – the most violent teenage gang in New York. Nicky threatened to kill Wilkerson the first day the two met. David responded to Nicky’s threats by telling him, “God has the power to change your life.” Nicky cursed, hit Wilkerson, spit in his face, and told him, “I don’t believe in what you say and you get out of here.” Wilkerson replied, “You could cut me up into a 1000 pieces and lay them in the street. Every piece will still love you.” For two weeks Nicky couldn’t stop thinking about David Wilkerson’s words of love – “I love you, Nicky.” THE POWER OF JESUS’ LOVE In July 1958, soon after Wilkerson’s confrontation with Nicky Cruz, Wilkerson scheduled an evangelistic rally for New York gangs, at the St. Nicholas Boxing Arena. Nearly every member of Nicky’s gang, as well as their rival gangs, attended the rally. The atmosphere was tense until Wilkerson prayed and the power of the Holy Spirit fell. When he gave an altar call, Nicky and most of his gang surrendered their lives to Jesus. “David Wilkerson came with a message of hope and love,” Cruz said. “I felt the power of Jesus like a rushing wind that took my breath away. I fell on my knees and confessed Christ.” After his conversion, Nicky went to a Bible College in La Puente, CA, where he met his future wife, Gloria. After graduation he became an evangelist, returned to Brooklyn, NY, and led more of the Mau Maus to Christ. He founded Nicky Cruz Outreach and began traveling around the world ministering to hundreds of thousands each year. In a 1998 article, the Wall Street Journal proclaimed Nicky as the “Billy Graham of the streets.” A MINISTRY IS BORN: TEEN CHALLENGE Although David Wilkerson never met with the seven teenage gang members that first drew him to New York City, he founded Teen-Age Evangelism (later called Adult & Teen Challenge) from his heart cry to reach gang members with God’s love. The first Center in Brooklyn, NY, opened in 1960. Adult & Teen Challenge is a faith-based, addiction recovery program that teaches Biblical principles as part of a daily program that ministers healing to teenagers, adults, and families. It is affiliated with the Assemblies of God. Teen Challenge offers a wide range of programs: one to two-year residential recovery programs, re-entry programs to help graduates transition back into independent living, non-residential Community Groups run by seasoned leaders, and prevention programs to educate school-aged students about the destructive consequences of substance abuse. Teen Challenge students are taught to reject old identities such as, “addict”, “failure”, “hopeless”, and see themselves as new creations in Christ – changed from the inside out. Teen Challenge stands alone as the most effective substance abuse recovery program to date. The success of this ministry is attributed to its foundation in Biblical principles, prayer for conversion, and baptism with the Holy Spirit. THE PROVEN CURE FOR THE DRUG EPIDEMIC David Wilkerson’s life’s work still stands as a testament to the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit to bring miraculous healing and new life in Christ, to all. Even to drug-addicted, violent young gang members full of hate and sin. Compared to Short-Term Inpatient (STI) drug treatment programs and Narcotics/Alcoholics Anonymous, Teen Challenge graduates have higher abstinence rates, less frequent relapses, significantly higher full-time employment rates, and are much less likely to return to treatment. “Once an addict, always an addict” is not taught, nor proclaimed at Teen Challenge. Transformed graduates of the program do not need on-going, daily meetings such as Narcotics Anonymous (NA) or Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). YOU SHALL RECEIVE POWER… Wilkerson attributed Teen Challenge’s unequaled success rate to the power of the Holy Spirit. “The Holy Spirit is in charge. As long as He remains in charge, the program will thrive. The minute we try to do things by our own power we will fail.” No matter how many years addicted, again and again, the testimony of Teen Challenge students remains the same. They are introduced to the love of God when they are born again, but complete victory/deliverance from addiction doesn’t come until baptism in the Holy Spirit. One student said, “I wasn’t lonely anymore. I didn’t want any more drugs. I loved everybody. For the first time in my life, I felt clean.” Many graduates of Teen Challenge are so completely transformed they decide to go to seminary, then into ministry. Many return to Teen Challenge as staff members to help others overcome their addictions and find new life. TESTIMONIES OF TEEN CHALLENGE Harry Davis – “I discovered Teen Challenge in 1989 at age 63. I did every drug in the world for 50 years. I’m 71 now and I work in the kitchen at the Brooklyn Center.” Canzada Edmonds – “Love is what made the difference for me. When I was ready to give up, they showed me, love. They showed me compassion. They showed me through Christ I could live a victorious life. Then they taught me how to be a lady.” Steve Hill – “Its greatest impact was in the area of discipline and structure. If it wasn’t for Teen Challenge, I would either be dead or in the penitentiary.” EXPANDING GOD’S KINGDOM Wilkerson went on to found Youth Crusades (1967), CURE Corps, and World Challenge (1971) to propel the Gospel worldwide. In 1986, Wilkerson’s heart was again broken for the lost. As he walked down 42nd Street, he saw prostitutes, young children (under the age of 12) high on crack cocaine, runaways, and drug addicts. He cried and prayed, “God You’ve got to do something.” Wilkerson’s answer came quickly. In the next hour, the Holy Spirit spoke – “Well, you know the city. You’ve been here. You do it.’” Wilkerson was obedient and Times Square Church opened its doors in October 1987. For nine years, from 1999 to 2008, Wilkerson traveled around the world preaching at conferences encouraging Christian ministers and their families, to “renew their passion for Christ.” He challenged them to ask, “What would happen, Lord, if I …?” A LEGACY OF FAITH For over forty years, David Wilkerson’s evangelical ministry included preaching, teaching, and writing. He authored over 30 books including, The Cross and the Switchblade (which became a Hollywood film in 1970), Revival on Broadway, It Is Finished, Hungry for More of Jesus, Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately?, and The Vision. Wilkerson always challenged his church to commit to obey Jesus’ teachings. He preached Christian beliefs of God’s holiness, righteousness, and love, and delivered powerful messages to encourage righteous living and total dependence on God. He would say, “holiness may seem to be an antiquated term by our standards, but not by God’s. Followers of Christ are still called to be holy, as God is holy” (1 Pet. 1:16). Wilkerson never lost his heartache over the devastating effects rampant sin wreaks on a life, home, and family. He preached many fiery sermons about sin; having seen and experienced firsthand, countless lives ravaged by the evils of violence and addiction. ABSENT FROM THE BODY, PRESENT WITH THE LORD On April 27, 2011, while driving in Texas, Wilkerson collided head-on with a tractor-trailer. He was pronounced dead at the scene. His wife Gwen was injured but survived. Wilkerson and his wife had four children (two sons who are ministers, and two daughters who are married to ministers) and eleven grandchildren. FINAL WORDS FROM NICKY CRUZ “He can take a bullet, he can be killed, but he stood because [he was] obedient to Jesus. Jesus sent him there to bring the message to the gangs. I almost killed him then because I really was totally full of hate. That was when he told me that Jesus loved me. Wilkerson never lost his heart for the world’s needy people.” “David reminded me of Jesus,” Cruz said. “Two precious things that fascinate me about Christ – He had active eyes, and always was there looking at the needs of the people. Dave had this heart of compassion just like Jesus.”

The Year My World Fell Apart

Twenty-five years ago, my world fell apart. I had just turned 39, was happily married with five kids, and served as the associate pastor of a growing two-year-old church plant. My health was good, I enjoyed an active life, and ministry opportunities abounded. Everything looked good from the outside. But on the inside, it was a different story. Starting in January of 1994, fear, hopelessness, depression, detachment, anxiety, and emptiness became my daily companions. All my life, I had taken pride in my ability to think clearly, but suddenly, thoughts began racing through my mind that I couldn’t stop. Panic attacks came regularly. I imagined I would be dead within months. And then there were the physical effects. Most days, I found it hard to catch my breath. My arms itched incessantly, and no amount of scratching relieved the sensation. When it didn’t seem like a 200-pound weight pressed against my chest, I often felt an eerie hollowness. My face buzzed. I was light-headed. I spent many nights pacing and trying to pray. ‘This Doesn’t Happen to Pastors’ Other than the normal pressures of a church planting pastor, there were no obvious reasons why I seemed to be going crazy. In an effort to rule out potential causes, I made an appointment with my doctor for a complete checkup. The results came back. I was “fine.” Nothing had prepared me for what I was going through. My internal accusations that “this doesn’t happen to pastors” only made me more frantic. I looked fruitlessly for something that would give me victory over whatever it was I was battling. Scripture. Prayer. Worship music. A retreat. A vacation. Even a trip to Canada during the “Toronto blessing.” Nothing helped. Early on, I thought about seeing a counselor, maybe even a psychiatrist. I was aware of occasions when people with hormonal imbalances, an inability to sleep, or traumatic personal histories benefited from medical intervention. I wondered if drugs might help me get back on my feet to deal with what I was experiencing. I also identified with various labels I had read about. Nervous breakdown. Burnout. Anxiety disorder. Depression. Whatever was going on was affecting me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The symptoms were too numerous and intense to think this was only a “sin” problem. But no label I assigned to my condition identified root causes. If what I was experiencing originated in my own heart (as it seemed), I wanted to explore that first. I wanted to press in to the gospel to see what I might be missing. The next two and a half years were the hardest of my life. But knowing what I learned from them, they were, without a doubt, the best years. Many people, most significantly my wife, Julie, were invaluable means of grace during that time. I hope to be a means of grace to you or others you might know who have been through something similar to what I’ve been describing. These are a few of the lessons God taught me during that time. We Might Not Be Hopeless Enough About a year into my dark season, I told my good friend, Gary, that I felt dead inside. Life didn’t make sense. I felt completely hopeless. Gary’s response was one I’ll never forget and have passed on to countless people, “I don’t think you’re hopeless enough. If you were completely hopeless, you’d stop trusting in what you can do and trust in what Jesus has already done for you on the cross.” Our problem isn’t that we have no hope. We just hope in things that aren’t God. Our own abilities. A preferred outcome. Our reputation. Financial security. You fill in the blank. And when the idols we’ve hoped in don’t deliver as promised, we panic. We despair. We lash out. We go numb. That’s why the psalmists speak of hoping in the Lord and his word at least twenty-five times, and why David tells us to “hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore” (Psalm 131:3). It’s easy and common to hope in something other than God. Blessed Are Those Who Know Their Need For most of my life up until that point, my heart aggressively served the idols of credit and control. Those idols revealed a selfish ambition that desired not only people’s approval but their applause, even their adoration. I wanted to receive the praise only God deserves. When I couldn’t get everyone to think I was as great as I thought I was, or when I realized the world didn’t bow to my desires, my idols punished me: mentally, emotionally, and physically. I thought I was a victim. I thought depression was “coming on me” from “out there.” Actually, I was the one producing it, through my own fears, unbelief, and false worship. I was forsaking my only hope of steadfast love (Jonah 2:8). Over time I came to see God was guiding the whole process in order to turn my heart to him. He wanted to wean me from my self-centered idolatry so I could find the greater joy of pursuing his glory instead of mine. Benefits We Don’t Think We Need In the first year of my trial, I was often unaffected by normal spiritual disciplines like reading Scripture, gathering with the church on Sundays, and prayer. The promises of the Bible seemed like empty platitudes, meant for those who were doing well. In reality, I didn’t see the depths of my need clearly enough. A friend introduced me to John Owen’s  Sin and Temptation  and God used it to show me how deceived my heart could be. Rather than wondering why I felt so hopeless and fearful, I started to own those feelings as the effect of functionally seeing myself as my own savior. Apart from Jesus, I was completely hopeless and had every reason to fear. But Jesus died on the cross to save hopeless and fearful people. And I was one of them. That thought process, repeated a thousand times, pointed me again and again to the Savior I needed more than I had ever realized. Feelings Are Unreliable Proofs The Psalms teach us that a relationship with God involves our emotions. God’s presence brings joy, God’s promises bring comfort, God’s provision brings satisfaction (Psalm 16:11; 119:50; 145:16). But I was trying to root my faith in my experiences rather than in God’s word. I was looking to sustained peace as evidence that the Bible was true, and found myself chasing experiences rather than Jesus. When I was unaffected by the gospel, I began to see that other desires were at work in my heart. Selfish ambition. Self-atonement. Works-righteousness. A love of ease. Feelings tell me something is happening in my soul, but they don’t necessarily tell me why I feel (or don’t feel) a certain way. We discover that through patiently and consistently trusting and pursuing God (Proverbs 2:1–5). When I insist on finding relief from my emotional distress before I believe God, I’m living by sight, not by faith. Self-Focus Won’t Ultimately Defeat Self-Sins In March of 1995, I went on a personal retreat. After 24 hours, I determined my problem was that I had been depending too much on my own righteousness and needed to trust in the righteousness of Christ. When I got home, I committed myself to a rigid discipline of Scripture memorization. Julie told me I came back more bound up than when I had left. One reason my dark season lasted so long was my belief that both the problem and solution ended in me. It was my lack of faith, my legalism, my poor choices. I needed to memorize more Scripture, do more, do less, do nothing, do everything. Over time, God graciously showed me that putting sin to death involves me but doesn’t depend on me. God’s grace comes to humble, needy people, never to those who think they deserve or can earn it. Robert Murray M’Cheyne’s counsel is still wise: “For every look at self, take ten looks at Christ!” His perfect life, substitutionary sacrifice, and glorious resurrection are a never-ending stream of delight, hope, and transformation (2 Corinthians 3:18). Take Every Temptation to Christ Maturity isn’t freedom from temptation, but responding to temptation more often with what God has said and done for us in Christ. I often thought I was backsliding when the temptations of anxiety, fear, hopelessness, and depression reappeared (or even increased). In those moments, I was tempted to think what I had been doing and believing “didn’t work.” But John Owen observed, “Your state is not at all to be measured by the opposition that sin makes to you, but by the opposition you make to it.” In my discouragement, I was tempted to run to something other than God’s word and the gospel as my refuge. I started to doubt that hearing the Bible preached on Sundays could do any good. But God’s promises remain true no matter how many times we forget or neglect them. Jesus will always be the only Savior who died for my sins to bear my punishment and reconcile me to God (1 Peter 3:18). In him I am truly forgiven, justified, adopted, and eternally secure in God’s love and care. As I continued to confess my inadequacy with phrases like, “You are God, and I am not,” I saw more clearly how God alone will always be my rock, steadfast love, fortress, stronghold, deliverer, and refuge (Psalm 144:1–2). Traveling Through the Valley The lessons I learned during those years have shaped my walk with God to this day. I still battle many of the same sins I fought twenty-five years ago, but I fight with greater clarity and trust in the one who has won the war. Temptations are less frequent and less intense. I’ve been able to point others who have been going through similar seasons to the life-transforming hope we have in the gospel. Removing difficulties, problems, and trials isn’t the only way God shows he is good. Instead of superficial solutions, Jesus actually delivers us from our false hopes of ultimate salvation, satisfaction, and comfort. We want relief from the pain — God wants to make us like his Son. We want a change in our circumstances — God wants a change in our hearts. A crucified and risen Savior proves once and for all he’s actually able to bring that change about. I’ve learned that the goal of the battle against emotional turmoil isn’t simply emotional peace. The goal is to know Christ. That realization led me to pray at one point, “If being like this for the rest of my life means that I will know you better, then leave me like this.” Thankfully, God didn’t leave me like I was. He gave me a deeper trust in the care of my heavenly Father, a more passionate love for Jesus and the gospel, and a greater awareness of his Spirit’s presence. I know better now what Paul meant when he said, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). Which is why I thank God that, in his abundant mercy, he caused my world to fall apart twenty-five years ago.

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