First Aid For Families -Parenting Teens And Up Order Printed Copy
- Author: James Dobson
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About the Book
"First Aid For Families - Parenting Teens And Up" by James Dobson is a comprehensive guide for parents navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. The book offers practical advice and strategies for dealing with issues such as communication, discipline, and maintaining a strong relationship with your teen. Dobson provides insights and real-life examples to help parents navigate the often turbulent teenage years with confidence and grace.
David Livingstone
"[I am] serving Christ when shooting a buffalo for my men or taking an observation, [even if some] will consider it not sufficiently or even at all missionary."
With four theatrical words, "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"âwords journalist Henry Morton Stanley rehearsed in advanceâDavid Livingstone became immortal. Stanley stayed with Livingstone for five months and then went off to England to write his bestseller, How I Found Livingstone. Livingstone, in the meantime, got lost againâin a swamp literally up to his neck. Within a year and a half, he died in a mud hut, kneeling beside his cot in prayer.
Berlin Congress spurs African independent churches
The whole civilized world wept. They gave him a 21-gun salute and a hero's funeral among the saints in Westminster Abbey. "Brought by faithful hands over land and sea," his tombstone reads, "David Livingstone: missionary, traveler, philanthropist. For 30 years his life was spent in an unwearied effort to evangelize the native races, to explore the undiscovered secrets, and to abolish the slave trade." He was Mother Teresa, Neil Armstrong, and Abraham Lincoln rolled into one.
Highway man
At age 25, after a childhood spent working 14 hours a day in a cotton mill, followed by learning in class and on his own, Livingstone was captivated by an appeal for medical missionaries to China. As he trained, however, the door to China was slammed shut by the Opium War. Within six months, he met Robert Moffat, a veteran missionary of southern Africa, who enchanted him with tales of his remote station, glowing in the morning sun with "the smoke of a thousand villages where no missionary had been before."
For ten years, Livingstone tried to be a conventional missionary in southern Africa. He opened a string of stations in "the regions beyond," where he settled down to station life, teaching school and superintending the garden. After four years of bachelor life, he married his "boss's" daughter, Mary Moffat.
From the beginning, Livingstone showed signs of restlessness. After his only convert decided to return to polygamy, Livingstone felt more called than ever to explore. During his first term in South Africa, Livingstone made some of the most prodigiousâand most dangerousâexplorations of the nineteenth century. His object was to open a "Missionary Road"â"God's Highway," he also called itâ1,500 miles north into the interior to bring "Christianity and civilization" to unreached peoples.
Explorer for Christ
On these early journeys, Livingstone's interpersonal quirks were already apparent. He had the singular inability to get along with other Westerners. He fought with missionaries, fellow explorers, assistants, and (later) his brother Charles. He held grudges for years. He had the temperament of a book-reading loner, emotionally inarticulate except when he exploded with Scottish rage. He held little patience for the attitudes of missionaries with "miserably contracted minds" who had absorbed "the colonial mentality" regarding the natives. When Livingstone spoke out against racial intolerance, white Afrikaners tried to drive him out, burning his station and stealing his animals.
He also had problems with the London Missionary Society, who felt that his explorations were distracting him from his missionary work. Throughout his life, however, Livingstone always thought of himself as primarily a missionary, "not a dumpy sort of person with a Bible under his arms, [but someone] serving Christ when shooting a buffalo for my men or taking an observation, [even if some] will consider it not sufficiently or even at all missionary."
Though alienated from the whites, the natives loved his common touch, his rough paternalism, and his curiosity. They also thought he might protect them or supply them with guns. More than most Europeans, Livingstone talked to them with respect, Scottish laird to African chief. Some explorers took as many as 150 porters when they traveled; Livingstone traveled with 30 or fewer.
On an epic, three-year trip from the Atlantic Ocean to the Indian Ocean (reputedly the first by a European) Livingstone was introduced to the 1,700-mile-long Zambezi. The river was also home to Victoria Falls, Livingstone's most awe-inspiring discovery. The scene was "so lovely," he later wrote, that it "must have been gazed upon by angels in their flight."
Despite its beauty, the Zambezi was a river of human misery. It linked the Portuguese colonies of Angola and Mozambique, the main suppliers of slaves for Brazil, who in turn sold to Cuba and the United States. Though Livingstone was partially driven by a desire to create a British colony, his primary ambition was to expose the slave trade and cut it off at the source. The strongest weapon in this task, he believed, was Christian commercial civilization. He hoped to replace the "inefficient" slave economy with a capitalist economy: buying and selling goods instead of people.
The ill-fated Zambezi expedition
After a brief heroic return to England, Livingstone returned to Africa, this time to navigate 1,000 miles up the Zambezi in a brass-and-mahogany steamboat to establish a mission near Victoria Falls. The boat was state-of-the-art technology but proved too frail for the expedition. It leaked horribly after repeatedly running aground on sandbars.
Livingstone pushed his men beyond human endurance. When they reached a 30-foot waterfall, he waved his hand, as if to wish it away, and said, "That's not supposed to be there." His wife, who had just given birth to her sixth child, died in 1862 beside the river, only one of several lives claimed on the voyage. Two years later, the British government, which had no interest in "forcing steamers up cataracts," recalled Livingstone and his mission party.
A year later, he was on his way back to Africa again, this time leading an expedition sponsored by the Royal Geographical Society and wealthy friends. "I would not consent to go simply as a geographer," he emphasized, but as biographer Tim Jeal wrote, "It would be hard to judge whether the search for the Nile's source or his desire to expose the slave trade was his dominant motive." The source of the Nile was the great geographical puzzle of the day. But more important to Livingstone was the possibility of proving that the Bible was true by tracing the African roots of Judaism and Christianity.
For two years he simply disappeared, without a letter or scrap of information. He reported later that he had been so ill he could not even lift a pen, but he was able to read the Bible straight through four times. Livingstone's disappearance fascinated the public as much as Amelia Earhart's a few generations later.
When American journalist Henry Stanley found Livingstone, the news exploded in England and America. Papers carried special editions devoted to the famous meeting. In August 1872, in precarious health, Livingstone shook Stanley's hand and set out on his final journey.
When Livingstone had arrived in Africa in 1841, it was as exotic as outer space, called the "Dark Continent" and the "White Man's Graveyard." although the Portuguese, Dutch, and English were pushing into the interior, African maps had blank unexplored areasâno roads, no countries, no landmarks. Livingstone helped redraw the maps, exploring what are now a dozen countries, including South Africa, Rwanda, Angola, and the Republic of the Congo (formerly Zaire). And he made the West aware of the continuing evil of African slavery, which led to its being eventually outlawed.
Act Like Men of God
How do men who believe in Jesus become more like Jesus? What is a man of God really like? When the apostle Paul wrote to a younger man, casting vision for what he might become in Christ, he charged him, Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12) While the qualities in this verse may apply to young men and women alike, I find that they provide a simple yet challenging paradigm for becoming men of God. Previously, I addressed the first of these qualities, speech, with seven lessons for what men say. Now I want to press in to a godly manâs conduct. What does it mean for a man to set an example in his conduct? Itâs an intentionally broad, all-encompassing term in Scripture, and it is often paired with speech (for example, Romans 15:18 and Colossians 3:17) â so, what we say and what we do. When it comes to our conduct, we might ask, What does the way we live say about Jesus? What kinds of conclusions would people draw about our Lord after watching us closely for a week, a month, a year? Uncommon Lifestyle In one sense, most of Paulâs letters address our conduct (directly or indirectly). In the immediate context of 1 Timothy, though, the elder qualifications in chapter 3 name and unpack some critical qualities of a godly man, including his conduct. While the qualifications are given for aspiring elders, they are not exclusive to these men â except, perhaps, for the ability to teach. Even with teaching, however, every man should aspire to handle Godâs word faithfully, with accuracy and care. The qualities in the qualifications are simply what every Christian man should strive to be â and several of them speak specifically to how we live. The word that Paul uses for conduct also shows up a number of times in the apostle Peterâs letters (much more than in Paul), so we might also look to Peter to understand more fully what Paul charged Timothy (and us) to be and do. Between the elder qualifications and Peterâs instruction, we can isolate some specific ways men who believe in God become greater men of God in our conduct. This list of qualities is not exhaustive, but gives aspiring young men specific spiritual qualities to pursue. Men of Holiness Above all else, the lives of godly men are marked by holiness. âDo not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, âYou shall be holy, for I am holyââ (1 Peter 1:14â16). Some men continue to nurture and indulge the cravings of their flesh â lust, anger, greed, laziness, selfishness. Others wisely and joyfully seek to put to death their remaining sin (Romans 8:13). They strive to conform their conduct â all of their conduct â to the conduct of Christ (Romans 8:29). âWhat sort of men should we be? Holy men. Temptation-defying men. Sin-crucifying men.â âSince all these things [that is, heaven and earth] are thus to be dissolved,â Peter writes elsewhere, âwhat sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness?â (2 Peter 3:11). We might translate the phrase âin lives of holinessâ more literally as âin holy conductâ (the same word weâve seen so far). So, in light of who Jesus really is, and the reality that he is coming again, what sort of men should we be? Holy men. Temptation-defying men. Sin-crucifying men. Not self-righteous men, but humble men who long to live like Jesus. Men of Self-Control Pursuing holiness will mean developing self-control. Women, of course, need self-control too (Titus 2:3â5). But given what God expects of heads of households and shepherds in the church, the cultivation of self-control is of particular importance for young men (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8). âThis is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honorâ (1 Thessalonians 4:3â4). If we want our conduct to magnify the worth of our Savior, we have to learn how to control unholy and dishonorable impulses within us. And not just with our bodies, but with our time, our spending, even our attention. Growing in godliness will mean regularly saying no (and often to good things). âMake every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control . . .â (2 Peter 1:5â6). Where do you need to grow in self-control? What do you struggle to say no to, even when you know you should? Men of Sincerity Men of God also pursue God with sincerity. âOur boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerityâ (2 Corinthians 1:12). Sincerity is freedom from pretense or hypocrisy. A sincere man is the same in secret as he is everywhere else. His conduct is not a concerted effort to cover or compensate for his immaturities. It is the natural and consistent (not perfect) fruit of an increasingly healthy and holy soul. Paulâs counsel to servants applies well to all our conduct: âObey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lordâ (Colossians 3:22). This kind of man does not live and work to be seen a certain way, but lives and works knowing he is always seen by God. He fears God more than he fears the disapproval or rejection of others. And so those who know him well â those in his home, those in church, those he works with day in and day out at the office â know him to be the man he claims to be. Again, he is not perfect, but he is consistent, honest, and humble. Men Who Make Peace Another countercultural pattern among godly men is their commitment to pursue and keep peace. The qualifications say it negatively: a man must not be âquarrelsomeâ (1 Timothy 3:3). The clear message, though, is not simply an avoidance of petty disagreements, but a pursuit and protection of God-honoring peace. As Paul says elsewhere, âLet us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuildingâ (Romans 14:19). Or 2 Corinthians 13:11: âAim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace.â In what relationships does this hit home most for you? In the polarized and hostile climate we live in, peacemaking will set men of God apart all the more. They are men who savor the promise, âBlessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of Godâ (Matthew 5:9). These are men who disagree charitably and patiently, who initiate difficult private conversations, who take responsibility, who persevere in pursuing peace when others give up and walk away. They are quick to confess and apologize when they have sinned, and even quicker to forgive and restore when sinned against. They know that peace is not cheap, easy, or superficial, but costly, hard-earned, and profound, even miraculous. And so, as far as it depends on them, they pursue it (Romans 12:18). Men of the Home Before a man can lead the church, âhe must manage his own household wellâ (1 Timothy 3:4). How could he shepherd a flock of dozens (or hundreds) if he canât shepherd the few in his own home? Again, however, this ambition is not only for men aspiring to ministry, but for any man aspiring to maturity. Everything the godly man is and does in the world begins and springs from how he loves at home. Does he love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)? Does he train up his children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), without provoking them to anger (Ephesians 6:4), treating them with dignity (1 Timothy 3:4)? âA sincere man is the same in secret as he is everywhere else.â This godly man is also hospitable (1 Timothy 3:2). Meaning, he not only cares well for those within his home, but he also welcomes others into his home. Home, for him, is not a place merely for rest and comfort, but for serving the kingdom of God â first, toward those of the household of faith (Romans 12:13), but also toward those who might yet believe (Hebrews 13:2). All of this is relevant to single men as well. First of all, if you eventually marry and have children, you are becoming now the man you will be then. Marriage will not make you a different man overnight; but it will soon reveal the kind of man you are. And even if you never marry, the heart of what is required here still applies. Are you the kind of man who cares for the needs of others â for roommates, for neighbors, for extended family, for the young and the old in your church? Singleness does not keep us from spiritual fatherhood and brotherhood. If anything, it may make us all the more available to those in need. Men Who Do Good In some ways, this last thread may help tie together the others. How do we set an example with our conduct? What does God want us to do? In the end, the man of God stands out for doing good. What Paul says to the rich applies to us all: âThey are to do good, to be rich in good worksâ (1 Timothy 6:18). And not just rich in good works â so, doing lots of good works â but âzealous for good worksâ (Titus 2:14). The good of others, especially the eternal good of others â the good of knowing and enjoying Jesus â is an ambition these men bring to each day. It is the ambition of all their ambitions. These men know that just as God chose them before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4), he also prepared good works for them to walk in (Ephesians 2:10). They know that thousands and thousands of years before they were born, God laid out good for them to do â and not just over their lifetime, but today and tomorrow and next Tuesday. And they do not assume the good will just happen, but they give careful thought to how that good will happen (Titus 3:8; see also 3:14). The Man You Once Were Maybe the best way to assess what kind of men we are would be to assess what kind of men we once were. How much has knowing Christ changed you? Paul does not use the word for conduct in 1 Timothy 4:12 often, but when he does, he is describing who he was and how he lived before grace made him someone new: âYou have heard of my former life in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God violently and tried to destroy itâ (Galatians 1:13). Or he is describing who we once were: â[You were taught in Christ] to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desiresâ (Ephesians 4:22; see also 2:3). So how does your current manner of life â your time, your attention, your spending â correspond with your former manner of life? And if you came to faith younger than most, how does your current life correspond to the life you might have lived apart from Christ? Whoever you were, and whoever you are, Peterâs charge is a good one to end with: Conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ. (1 Peter 1:17â19) Conduct yourself with a healthy, trusting, joyful fear of God. Conduct yourself as if Christ delivered you from the futility of worldliness. Conduct yourself as if your life was bought with the blood of heaven. Conduct yourself as a man chosen, saved, and sent by God. Article by Marshall Segal
