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Am I Ready To Become A Wife Am I Ready To Become A Wife

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  • Author: Adelaja Sunday
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Exceptional piece. Highly recommended!

- amos samuel (4 months ago)

About the Book


"Am I Ready To Become A Wife" by Adelaja Sunday is a practical guide that helps women assess their readiness for marriage and offers advice on developing the skills and qualities necessary to be a successful wife. The book covers topics such as communication, emotional intelligence, handling conflicts, and building a strong foundation for a successful marriage. It encourages readers to reflect on their own personal growth and readiness for such a significant life commitment.

Richard Sibbes

Richard Sibbes Richard Sibbes was born in Tostock, Suffolk, four miles from Bury St. Edmunds, in 1577.[1] He is the eldest son of Paul Sibbes and Joane. His father was a wheelwright who hoped Sibbes would be in the same field of occupation. Instead of following the footsteps of his father, young Sibbes, out of love for reading, would choose books over wooden wheels.[2] Truly enough, throughout his lifetime, books were part of Sibbes’ life.[3] Proof of this interest to books is his accomplishments as a lecturer [pastor], fellow tutor, vicar, and for obtaining various degrees in his academic education. Sibbes’ legacy of his seven-volume work was collected by A. B. Grosart which was published from 1862 to 1864.[4] Sibbes’ ministries and his works spread throughout England even after his death. However, he was never married. Sibbes died on July 5, 1635, in his chambers at Gray’s Inn.[5] J. I. Packer noted that Sibbes’ left more than two million words on paper after his death.[6] Educational Background Sibbes’ started studying at St. John’s College, Cambridge when he was eighteen, in 1595. He then proceeded to finish a Bachelor of Arts in 1599. He received a fellowship grant in 1601. Sibbes continued studying, finishing a Master of Arts degree by 1602. Sibbes became a prominent preacher in Cambridge and got the endorsement to apply for a Bachelor of Divinity. After his defense and fulfilling the requirements, he earned this degree in 1610.[7] Furthermore, in almost two decades, Sibbes received his Doctor of Divinity in 1627 after returning from London for his mastership at St. Katherine.[8] Ministerial Experience and Vocation Sibbes’ conversion happened after hearing Paul Bayne’s sermon in 1603. Bayne succeeded William Perkins at St. Andrews, Cambridge.[9] During Sibbes’ stay in Cambridge, as a fellow, he handled and supervised five to six students for a tutorial.[10] Sibbes held various vocations such as being chaplain, lecturer, and got a promotion from mere fellow to senior fellowship. After being a senior dean at St. John, Sibbes became the master of St. Katherine’s College in 1626.[11] As a preacher, Sibbes received his ordination in Norwich, in 1607. He became the minister of Thurston in 1608. Later, in 1610, Sibbes accepted the offer as a lecturer of Holy Trinity Church, Cambridge until he was called to be a lecturer at Gray’s Inn, London, in 1617.[12] This lectureship lasts until his death. Even during Sibbes’ mastership at St. Katherine, he remained a lecturer at Gray’s Inn. In 1633, through the appointment of King Charles I, Sibbes became the vicar of Holy Trinity Church, Cambridge. The positions held by Sibbes were mastership at St. Katherine, a lecturer at Gray’s Inn, and vicar of Holy Trinity Church. Influence of the Heavenly Doctor Throughout Sibbes ministries, prominence followed as he influenced many Puritan ministers. Sibbes, as an influencer, is known to be the “pastor of pastors,” not just in the Church of England but even to Presbyterians and Independent Congregationalists.[13] Sibbes was responsible for John Cotton’s conversion in 1612.[14] Moreover, he persuaded John Preston’s style in preaching, transforming from witty sermons to more plain but spiritual preaching.[15] Sibbes’ book, The Bruised Reed, encouraged Richard Baxter to gain settled-conviction on his conversion.[16] Likewise, Sibbes helped Thomas Goodwin, the chief editor of most of his works, to keep away from Arminianism.[17] Sibbes’ ministry extends even to common people. Humphrey Mills, a layman, shared his testimony about Sibbes’ ministry. Mills was spiritually refreshed and brought to peace and joy after hearing Sibbes’ “sweet soul-melting Gospel-sermons.”[18] Sibbes’ encouragement did not end in the days of Puritans. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, one of the greatest preachers in the twentieth century, was grateful for Sibbes’ works. Lloyd-Jones, in his spiritual dryness, said that Sibbes’ books “quietened, soothed, comforted, encouraged, and healed [him].”[19] Sibbes was a renowned Puritan throughout Cambridge, London, and even to Amsterdam. Mainly because of his various offices plus broad networks outside the church. He remained a moderate Puritan perceiving the Church of England as the true church. Sibbes encouraged other Separatists to return and warned the moderates not to dissent. Yet many historians and scholars misinterpreted Sibbes in his theology and ministry. Thankfully, Mark Dever, in his recent work, argues contrary to many historians that Sibbes was dismissed in his ministry. Dever also concludes that Sibbes did not drift away from Calvinism, claiming that he was a thoroughly Reformed preacher and never became non-conformist, rather a moderate puritan.[20] Sibbes, through his works, are still penetrating churches and seminaries up to this day. Recently, his seven-volume set was published by The Banner of Truth Trust in 2001. The best introduction for Sibbes’ works, personally, is his The Bruised Reed and the Smoking Flax. For Michael Reeves’ opinion, Sibbes is “the best introduction to the Puritans…. Reading him is like sitting in the sunshine: he gets into your heart and warms it to Christ.”[21] References [1] Alexander B. Grosart, “Memoir of Richard Sibbes, D.D.,” in Richard Sibbes, The Works of Richard Sibbes, ed. Alexander Grosart, 7 vols. (1862-1864; reprint, Carlisle, Pennsylvania: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2001), 1:xxvii. [2] Joel Beeke, “Richard Sibbes on Entertaining the Holy Spirit,” in The Beauty and Glory of the Holy Spirit, ed. Joel Beeke and Joseph Pipa Jr. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Reformation Heritage Books, 2012), 228. Cf. Joel Beeke and Mark Jones, A Puritan Theology: Doctrine for Life (Grand Rapids, MI: Reformation Heritage Books, 2012), chap. 36, Kindle. [3] Joel Beeke and Randall Pederson, Meet the Puritans (Grand Rapids, MI: Reformation Heritage Books, 2006), 534-5. [4] Mark Dever, “The Works of Richard Sibbes,” in You Must Read: Books that Have Shaped Our Lives (Carlisle, PA: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2015), 154. [5] Grosart, “Memoir,” in Sibbes, Works, 1:cxxxi. [6] J. I. Packer, foreword to Richard Sibbes: Puritanism and Calvinism in Late Elizabethan and Early Stuart England, by Mark E. Dever (Macon, Georgia: Mercer University Press, 2000), ix. [7] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 37-38. Bachelor of Divinity, according to Dr. Shawn Wright is equivalent with Master of Divinity today, “Lectures in English Puritanism” (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, KY, Spring 2020), but the process is different. Dever noted in his work that Sibbes undergone two public preaching, one in English and another in Latin, and two defense topics chosen by the panelists. [8] Grosart, “Memoir,” in Sibbes, Works, 1:cxi. [9] Beeke and Pederson, Meet the Puritans, 534-5. [10] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 30-31. [11] Dever, 31-34, 46. [12] Beeke and Pederson, Meet the Puritans, 534-6. [13] Beeke, “Richard Sibbes on Entertaining the Holy Spirit,” 230. [14] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 40. [15] Beeke and Pederson, Meet the Puritans, 535-7. [16] Richard Baxter, The Autobiography of Richard Baxter (Bedford St., London: J.M. Dent & Sons Ltd., 1931), 7. Baxter’s father bought Sibbes’ book from a peddler and gave it to Richard Baxter. Cf. Timothy K. Beougher, Richard Baxter and Conversion: A Study of the Puritan Concept of Becoming a Christian (Scotland, UK: Christian Focus Publications, 2007), 21. [17] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 41. [18] Ronald Frost, “The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes (1577-1635)” in Kelly M. Kapic and Randal C. Gleason, The Devoted Life: An Invitation to the Puritan Classics (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2004), 80-81. Quoting from a collection of Puritan testimonials by John Rogers, Ohel or Bethshemesh, A Tarbernacle for the Sun (London, n.p., 1653), 410. [19] D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Preaching and Preachers (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1972), 175. Cf. Publisher’s Foreword to The Bruised Reed, by Richard Sibbes, x. [20] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 211-8. [21] Michael Reeves, “A Short Biography of Richard Sibbes,” in Richard Sibbes, Christ it Best; or, St. Paul’s Strait (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 2012), 66.

my dream singleness: an anthem for unmarried women

As an unmarried woman in my mid-twenties, I know that a season of singleness can often be fraught with disappointment and heartache. I hold hopes for a husband and a family close to my heart, but I also hope to hold Jesus even closer. At the end of my life, whether I am married for forty years or single for seventy, I long for it to be said of me, “She was devoted to Jesus.” Single or married, we belong to another. My marital status may read “single” on my tax return, but I am not unclaimed. I do belong to someone. And this is not some elusive future spouse. I’m speaking of Christ. I am his. Because Christ has bought us with his blood, we are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). We were not made or saved for this realm, but for another realm, a spiritual one. And in this spiritual realm, Jesus was clear that people are neither marrying, nor married. So despite the fact that marriage is beautiful and sacred,  we were not made for earthly wedded bliss.  That should free us to live out big dreams for singleness now, while we wait to be married. We were created for Christ, to be one with him. He and I — we were meant for each other (Ephesians 1:5–6). This is a match made in heaven, and for heaven. He is ours, and we are his. And this union can satisfy all other longings. Even if a spouse dies, deserts, disappoints, or never emerges in the first place, we already have a perfect union of glory and joy awaiting us that far surpasses the dim copy we might enjoy for a little while here. Singleness Is Good Paul, apparently, was single, at least for much of his life, and spoke of his marital status in glowing terms. Singleness is good, and is a gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7–8). I can wake up tomorrow confident that not being married is good for me, and that it is my calling for the day. God does not give second-rate gifts. It’s not that I have asked for bread only for God to give me a stone instead (Matthew 7:9). No, singleness and marriage are different gifts, each with challenges and blessings, but they are  equally good. Elisabeth Elliot writes: But having now spent more than 41 years single, I have learned that it is indeed a gift. Not one I would choose. Not one many women would choose. But we do not choose our gifts, remember? We are given them by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning and wants above all else to give us the gift of himself. Whatever the years ahead may hold, I know he has called me to the gift of singleness today, however heavy that gift may feel some days. When God gives us gifts we would not choose, he also gives us himself in ways we would not otherwise have known. This World Is Not Our Home Those who are not yet married long for love and a place to call home. We desire good things, and our pain is legitimate. But we are easily disillusioned with temporary treasures, forgetting this bruised and scarred place is not our forever home. No marriage will last forever. Even the best must end with death. This means that the married and the unmarried alike must form their minds around this truth: From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. (1 Corinthians 7:29–31) Paul is not telling his readers to neglect their families, but he  is  shifting our paradigms, preparing us to live as pilgrims in a world destined for destruction. This means the married should live as if their spouse is not theirs to keep, and the unmarried should live as if a spouse is not ours to have. At the end of time here on earth, only our union with Christ will survive. Singleness Is for Devotion From the apostle Paul to Elisabeth Elliot, they are all really saying one thing. Singleness is for devotion — for gospel-living and Christ-loving. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. . . . And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.” (1 Corinthians 7:32, 34) God offers us singleness as an opportunity to run headlong after Christ. Devotion is not merely a hobby to pass the time while we wait for a perfect someone. No, this  is  what we’ve been waiting for. For Christ. The Perfect Someone has come, and he’s come to give us himself. We’ve been waiting for happiness; here is a love higher than our understanding and a joy beyond our wildest dreams. As unmarried women, let it be said of us that our one concern is to please the Lord, that our only aim is wholehearted devotion to Christ. May this be the banner that flies over the balance of our days, our only mantra, married or not. You were meant to enjoy the one thing that transcends the beauties of marriage and lasts for eternity. Seek him and you will make the most of singleness and marriage, whichever gift God gives you.

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