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About the Book
"Am I Ready To Be A Husband" by Sunday Adelaja is a practical guide for men who are considering marriage and want to understand the responsibilities and expectations of being a husband. The book explores important topics such as emotional maturity, communication, conflict resolution, and financial preparedness, offering valuable insights and advice for those preparing for marriage.
John G. Lake
John G. Lake was born in Ontario, Canada on March 18th, 1870. He was a family man, person of integrity, honor, a savvy businessman and a good father. If you knew him you wouldnât otherwise know that he would soon become one of the greatest men of God the world would ever know. He had a genuine love for the Lord Jesus and was known by his friends as a man who dedicated himself to intimacy with The Lord. It was out of this place that he loved his wife, was a man of integrity and built a very successful business career. To give you perspective, by 1905 John G Lake was making $50,000 per year this sum would be like upwards of 1.3 million dollars per year annually today. John grew up in a family environment which was plagued with sickness and death, it is said that his earliest memories were of sickness, death and funerals. Lake was from a large family, he had 16 siblings, 8 of which tragically died of various diseases. It is no coincidence that âthe man of healingâ was tormented from a young age with death and disease. The enemy will often oppose destinies with radical circumstances through a distortion of the very thing that we are called to walk in. Lake Was exposed to dramatic healing when he visited John Alexander Dowieâs ministry and was, in prayer, instantly healed of a rheumatism which had caused his legs to grow incorrectly. Just two short years into their marriage, Jennie Lake was diagnosed with tuberculosis and heart disease. Over the next couple of years, the condition worsened and the doctors resigned to the fact that it was only a matter of time before she would die. John allowed this situation to provoke him into faith, after being exposed to such death and disease from a young age he had a hatred for such things. When he would read the word of God he saw that his Christian experience was less than the promised âpower of the Holy Spiritâ. As Jennie was on her deathbed and perhaps taking her final breaths Lake was overcome with anger over sickness and threw his bible against the fireplace mantle! When he went to pick up his bible it was opened to Acts chapter 10:38 which says: "God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.â Lake had a surge of faith in that moment and sent a telegram to Dowie asking him to pray. Within an hour of Dowie praying she was fully healed! Not long after Jennie was healed, God began to speak to Lake about going into full time ministry. After some time of contemplation and seeking the Lord, God confirmed to John and Jennie separately that they were to move to South Africa to begin their life of ministry. John and Jennie then gave away all that they had, John forsook his mega-salary and they went on their way alongside some of their friends as ministry partners.
When they arrived in South Africa, they had no money. The problem was, that they needed at least $125 in order to clear customs. they nervously waited for their turn in line, rehearsing what they would say to the immigration officer They were in desperate need of a miracle, as the law read that they would be subject to deportation as quickly as they arrived in South Africa. Just as they were about the get to the front of the line, John felt a tap on his shoulder⌠A man was standing behind John and said âexcuse me sir, can I have a word with you?â John nervously steps out of line at the manâs request and the man said âwhen I saw you and your family in line, the Lord told me to give you $200 cashâ. The Lord provided just enough money for John and his family to enter the country. But their needs didnât stop there. The Lakes and their crew had no ministry contact in Johannesburg. Soon after they cleared customs, a woman approached Johnâs friends and asked how many people are in their family, when they told her, she responded âno, not youâ and went over to John and asked the same question. John replied â9â and she said âyouâre the ones!â She went on to tell John that the Lord had spoken to her last night that she was to give her home to a family of 9 people who are coming from America to do Godâs work. John, Jennie and their crew rejoiced in the dramatic provision of the Lord. Their time in South Africa was marked with waves of revival, there were multitudes saved, healed and delivered over the course of their 5 year ministry tour in South Africa.
By far my favorite story from this season of Revival takes place shortly after the Lake family and their team arrived in South Africa. A mighty plague was sweeping through the nation, the death count was climbing dramatically. So much so that there was a surplus of corpses who were victims of the plague and there was no one to bury the dead; if someone was to come in contact with a dead body they would most certainly become infected and their death sentence would immediately begin. John G. Lake astounded the medical officials because he, without any gloves or protective clothing began burying the dead. Physicians in a panic approached John and rebuked him for coming in contact with the dead, John boldly responded "when the disease comes in contact with my skin, you can watch it die". The doctors thought he was insane, so he challenged them to put a drop of the plague on his skin and watch it under a microscope. When they did so, John was right! The plague cells literally burned up the second they came in contact with his skin!
It is tough to understand what would happen towards the end of the Lakeâs missionary journey in Africa. One day while John was away on a ministry trip, his wife Jennie suddenly passed away. The cause of her death was malnutrition and exhaustion. It wasnât uncommon for the sick and broken to line the lawn of John G Lakeâs home and Jennie, as an act of sacrifice, gave away all their food and any resources she could to the broken which frequented their house.
Although John and Jennieâs faith and sacrifice is commendable we must learn from this fatal mistake. Johnâs priorities clearly became altered as the demand for ministry raged on. He failed to guard and keep the very precious gift that God had given him, he allowed the demands of ministry to distract him from the needs of his family unto the tragic and preventable death of his wife. In the wake of Jennieâs death their children became bitter with John and subsequently God. Some of his children left the faith and the most recent accounts of them suggest that they died not following Christ. To this day some of Johnâs great grandchildren do not follow the Lord. Johnâs failure to obey the basic command of scripture for âhusbands to love their wives as Christ loves the churchâ and his preoccupation with the demands of ministry opened up the door for the enemy to ravage his family. After Jennieâs death John moved back to the United States and remarried. He would then pioneer his famous healing ministry based out of Spokane Washington. Unfortunately John did not learn his lesson the first time, in the midst of more flames of revival he continued to be a poor father, emotionally disconnected from his children.
âOne Anotherâ Your One and Only
Whatâs your favorite charge, or piece of counsel, you have heard in a wedding homily? Any Christian minister who has performed a wedding knows the challenge and opportunity of that moment. We have a precious few minutes to capture the moment and hang out a vision for the newlyweds to pursue for the rest of their days. On more than one occasion, I have surprised the couple with this charge: âEnjoy this day with everything you have, and when it is over, in one way, pretend like it never happened.â You can probably imagine their facial expressions. If it werenât such a formal moment, Iâm sure they would interrupt, âWhat do you mean, âPretend like it never happenedâ? Weâve been waiting for this day for so long!â After a brief pause to allow their curiosity to grow, I go on to explain the wisdom behind my intentionally provocative words. The key to understanding the charge is in the phrase âin one way.â Kissing Pursuit Goodbye I am not charging couples to pretend like their wedding day never happened in every way, or even in most ways. Marriage brings many new and wonderful realities that are to be embraced with joyful seriousness. That said, I have observed that kissing the bride is often followed by kissing goodbye a way of loving each other. For so many, the wedding day marks the end of a way of relating that can be best characterized as the pursuit. While the specific practices may differ from one couple to another, the principle often remains the same: the dating days are characterized by a pursuit of the one we love, but as the months and years pass, the pursuit sadly gets left behind. Itâs often replaced by a new âmarriedâ way of relating that could be characterized as existing together. This far-too-common pattern of relating can be summarized: Pursue. Catch. Exist. âKissing the bride is often followed by kissing goodbye a way of loving each other.â While this dynamic of existing together often becomes the norm, what if there were another way? What if the transition from singleness to marriage should be and could be summarized differently? Consider this: Pursue. Catch. Pursue. I choose the phrases âshould beâ and âcould beâ because I am convinced that many spouses either lack a vision for why they should keep pursuing each other or they lack practical help in how to make it a reality (or both!). Why We Pursue Before rushing to discuss how we love one another, the Christian spouse would be well served to first clarify why. This question finds its answer in the way we are loved by God. Godâs love for us establishes the bullseye for how we seek to love one another. We are called to love just as God loves us (John 13:15; Ephesians 4:32; 5:29). And this is clear: we are loved by a pursue-catch-pursue God. David captured Godâs never-ending pursuit when he declared, âSurely goodness and mercy shall follow [or pursue] me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord foreverâ (Psalm 23:6). David rejoices in the reality that Godâs pursuit wasnât only to get him into his house, but it continues while he lives there. The apostle Paul gives an even longer view of the âhound of heavenâ when he declares that for all eternity God will be showing âthe immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesusâ (Ephesians 2:7). Our God is ever in pursuit, and we are to follow his lead in the way we love â and first and foremost in the way we love our spouse. Itâs worth clarifying that our goal is reflection, not perfection. None of us can perfectly love a spouse like Jesus does in all ways and at all times. While perfection is not the expectation, Spirit-filled followers of Christ should expect to consistently grow in our ability to reflect the love of God to our one and only. Consistent over Elaborate When I encourage couples to keep pursuing each other, I can already hear the objections, as if the idea is something out of a fairy tale, rather than one rooted in reality. âWe canât do that.â âWe donât have the time or the money for that.â âWe have jobs, kids, responsibilities, and more often than not feel like we are being crushed each day.â âThereâs just no way we can pursue one another like when we were dating and engaged.â These objections might be more valid if the call were to consistently pursue each other in elaborate ways. While elaborate pursuits have their place in a marriage, thatâs not the first type of pursuit that couples should focus on. To put it in a phrase: consistent is greater than elaborate. Think about the love ethos of your marriage like building a fire. Before we add the large (elaborate) pieces of firewood, we first build a base of heat through placing many tiny sticks, twigs, and leaves. In fact, if we try to place a large piece of firewood too early, it will do the opposite of what we want. Instead of igniting the fire, it will put it out. The same is true in our marriages. When we neglect the small and consistent daily acts of pursuit, our elaborate attempts will often backfire. (Yes, I speak from personal experience.) The marriage that keeps the fire burning through each passing age and life stage is one in which both spouses commit to consistently, even daily, pursue one another. Little More Kindness Many spouses think too much about pursuing in elaborate ways and too little about consistent, everyday expressions of love. Our consumer-driven society leads us to focus on holidays and special days, when what our marriages often need most is a little more kindness and thoughtfulness each and every day. What if the missing piece in your marriage has little to do with figuring out how to love your spouse differently than everyone else? What if the secret to a better marriage is in learning to love your spouse just like you are called to love everyone else? I have often heard people say, âThe Bible doesnât give much guidance about marriage.â While the Bible may not speak exclusively about the relationship between husbands and wives as often as weâd like, it says a great deal about how we are to treat one another in Christ. God has given us dozens of specific âone anotherâ commands in the mouth of Jesus and the letters of the apostles. He calls us to be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32), serve one another (Galatians 5:13), forgive one another (Colossians 3:13), encourage one another (Hebrews 3:13), honor one another (Romans 12:10), live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16), pray for one another (James 5:16), and submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21) â just to name a few. âHusbands and wives, you are called to âone anotherâ your âone and only.ââ Husbands and wives, you are called to one-another your one-and-only. These small, seemingly simple expressions of intentional and authentic interest in your spouse, expressed consistently over time, can radically alter the culture of your marriage. First Steps Toward Each Other Sadly, many spouses seem content to take the âone anotherâ commands out into the world during the day, but then leave them on the front porch as they walk into the home. How tragic would it be to have a Christian home with defined callings for husband and wife but without consistent and discernible Christlike love? God does not mean for a few explicit passages about marriage to replace all of Godâs commands for how we treat one another. No, our one-and-only should be the first person we one-another. Our marriage love will be kindled by first committing to love our special one as we are called to love everyone. For many of us, this process begins with repentance. We have demanded to receive one-and-only love from our spouse, yet neglected to give one-another love to our spouse. If this is you, seek Godâs help, ask your spouse to forgive you, and find a list of the âone anotherâ commands in the New Testament. Read prayerfully over them and look for a few that the Holy Spirit presses on your heart to begin focusing on even this week. As you begin to one-another your one-and-only, you will be laying kindling and blowing oxygen on the fires of your marriage. Article by Matt Bradner
