101 Ways To Have 100% Success In Marriage Order Printed Copy

Author: Chris Davis
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About the Book

"101 Ways to Have 100% Success in Marriage" by Chris Davis offers practical advice and strategies for achieving a successful and fulfilling marriage. The book covers a wide range of topics including communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, and finances. It provides actionable tips and insights to help couples strengthen their relationship and build a strong foundation for a lasting partnership.

Richard Sibbes

Richard Sibbes was born in Tostock, Suffolk, four miles from Bury St. Edmunds, in 1577.[1] He is the eldest son of Paul Sibbes and Joane. His father was a wheelwright who hoped Sibbes would be in the same field of occupation. Instead of following the footsteps of his father, young Sibbes, out of love for reading, would choose books over wooden wheels.[2] Truly enough, throughout his lifetime, books were part of Sibbes’ life.[3] Proof of this interest to books is his accomplishments as a lecturer [pastor], fellow tutor, vicar, and for obtaining various degrees in his academic education. Sibbes’ legacy of his seven-volume work was collected by A. B. Grosart which was published from 1862 to 1864.[4] Sibbes’ ministries and his works spread throughout England even after his death. However, he was never married. Sibbes died on July 5, 1635, in his chambers at Gray’s Inn.[5] J. I. Packer noted that Sibbes’ left more than two million words on paper after his death.[6] Educational Background Sibbes’ started studying at St. John’s College, Cambridge when he was eighteen, in 1595. He then proceeded to finish a Bachelor of Arts in 1599. He received a fellowship grant in 1601. Sibbes continued studying, finishing a Master of Arts degree by 1602. Sibbes became a prominent preacher in Cambridge and got the endorsement to apply for a Bachelor of Divinity. After his defense and fulfilling the requirements, he earned this degree in 1610.[7] Furthermore, in almost two decades, Sibbes received his Doctor of Divinity in 1627 after returning from London for his mastership at St. Katherine.[8] Ministerial Experience and Vocation Sibbes’ conversion happened after hearing Paul Bayne’s sermon in 1603. Bayne succeeded William Perkins at St. Andrews, Cambridge.[9] During Sibbes’ stay in Cambridge, as a fellow, he handled and supervised five to six students for a tutorial.[10] Sibbes held various vocations such as being chaplain, lecturer, and got a promotion from mere fellow to senior fellowship. After being a senior dean at St. John, Sibbes became the master of St. Katherine’s College in 1626.[11] As a preacher, Sibbes received his ordination in Norwich, in 1607. He became the minister of Thurston in 1608. Later, in 1610, Sibbes accepted the offer as a lecturer of Holy Trinity Church, Cambridge until he was called to be a lecturer at Gray’s Inn, London, in 1617.[12] This lectureship lasts until his death. Even during Sibbes’ mastership at St. Katherine, he remained a lecturer at Gray’s Inn. In 1633, through the appointment of King Charles I, Sibbes became the vicar of Holy Trinity Church, Cambridge. The positions held by Sibbes were mastership at St. Katherine, a lecturer at Gray’s Inn, and vicar of Holy Trinity Church. Influence of the Heavenly Doctor Throughout Sibbes ministries, prominence followed as he influenced many Puritan ministers. Sibbes, as an influencer, is known to be the “pastor of pastors,” not just in the Church of England but even to Presbyterians and Independent Congregationalists.[13] Sibbes was responsible for John Cotton’s conversion in 1612.[14] Moreover, he persuaded John Preston’s style in preaching, transforming from witty sermons to more plain but spiritual preaching.[15] Sibbes’ book, The Bruised Reed, encouraged Richard Baxter to gain settled-conviction on his conversion.[16] Likewise, Sibbes helped Thomas Goodwin, the chief editor of most of his works, to keep away from Arminianism.[17] Sibbes’ ministry extends even to common people. Humphrey Mills, a layman, shared his testimony about Sibbes’ ministry. Mills was spiritually refreshed and brought to peace and joy after hearing Sibbes’ “sweet soul-melting Gospel-sermons.”[18] Sibbes’ encouragement did not end in the days of Puritans. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, one of the greatest preachers in the twentieth century, was grateful for Sibbes’ works. Lloyd-Jones, in his spiritual dryness, said that Sibbes’ books “quietened, soothed, comforted, encouraged, and healed [him].”[19] Sibbes was a renowned Puritan throughout Cambridge, London, and even to Amsterdam. Mainly because of his various offices plus broad networks outside the church. He remained a moderate Puritan perceiving the Church of England as the true church. Sibbes encouraged other Separatists to return and warned the moderates not to dissent. Yet many historians and scholars misinterpreted Sibbes in his theology and ministry. Thankfully, Mark Dever, in his recent work, argues contrary to many historians that Sibbes was dismissed in his ministry. Dever also concludes that Sibbes did not drift away from Calvinism, claiming that he was a thoroughly Reformed preacher and never became non-conformist, rather a moderate puritan.[20] Sibbes, through his works, are still penetrating churches and seminaries up to this day. Recently, his seven-volume set was published by The Banner of Truth Trust in 2001. The best introduction for Sibbes’ works, personally, is his The Bruised Reed and the Smoking Flax. For Michael Reeves’ opinion, Sibbes is “the best introduction to the Puritans…. Reading him is like sitting in the sunshine: he gets into your heart and warms it to Christ.”[21] References [1] Alexander B. Grosart, “Memoir of Richard Sibbes, D.D.,” in Richard Sibbes, The Works of Richard Sibbes, ed. Alexander Grosart, 7 vols. (1862-1864; reprint, Carlisle, Pennsylvania: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2001), 1:xxvii. [2] Joel Beeke, “Richard Sibbes on Entertaining the Holy Spirit,” in The Beauty and Glory of the Holy Spirit, ed. Joel Beeke and Joseph Pipa Jr. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Reformation Heritage Books, 2012), 228. Cf. Joel Beeke and Mark Jones, A Puritan Theology: Doctrine for Life (Grand Rapids, MI: Reformation Heritage Books, 2012), chap. 36, Kindle. [3] Joel Beeke and Randall Pederson, Meet the Puritans (Grand Rapids, MI: Reformation Heritage Books, 2006), 534-5. [4] Mark Dever, “The Works of Richard Sibbes,” in You Must Read: Books that Have Shaped Our Lives (Carlisle, PA: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2015), 154. [5] Grosart, “Memoir,” in Sibbes, Works, 1:cxxxi. [6] J. I. Packer, foreword to Richard Sibbes: Puritanism and Calvinism in Late Elizabethan and Early Stuart England, by Mark E. Dever (Macon, Georgia: Mercer University Press, 2000), ix. [7] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 37-38. Bachelor of Divinity, according to Dr. Shawn Wright is equivalent with Master of Divinity today, “Lectures in English Puritanism” (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, KY, Spring 2020), but the process is different. Dever noted in his work that Sibbes undergone two public preaching, one in English and another in Latin, and two defense topics chosen by the panelists. [8] Grosart, “Memoir,” in Sibbes, Works, 1:cxi. [9] Beeke and Pederson, Meet the Puritans, 534-5. [10] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 30-31. [11] Dever, 31-34, 46. [12] Beeke and Pederson, Meet the Puritans, 534-6. [13] Beeke, “Richard Sibbes on Entertaining the Holy Spirit,” 230. [14] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 40. [15] Beeke and Pederson, Meet the Puritans, 535-7. [16] Richard Baxter, The Autobiography of Richard Baxter (Bedford St., London: J.M. Dent & Sons Ltd., 1931), 7. Baxter’s father bought Sibbes’ book from a peddler and gave it to Richard Baxter. Cf. Timothy K. Beougher, Richard Baxter and Conversion: A Study of the Puritan Concept of Becoming a Christian (Scotland, UK: Christian Focus Publications, 2007), 21. [17] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 41. [18] Ronald Frost, “The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes (1577-1635)” in Kelly M. Kapic and Randal C. Gleason, The Devoted Life: An Invitation to the Puritan Classics (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2004), 80-81. Quoting from a collection of Puritan testimonials by John Rogers, Ohel or Bethshemesh, A Tarbernacle for the Sun (London, n.p., 1653), 410. [19] D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Preaching and Preachers (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1972), 175. Cf. Publisher’s Foreword to The Bruised Reed, by Richard Sibbes, x. [20] Dever, Richard Sibbes, 211-8. [21] Michael Reeves, “A Short Biography of Richard Sibbes,” in Richard Sibbes, Christ it Best; or, St. Paul’s Strait (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 2012), 66.

date differently this year - four resolutions for better relationships

It takes extraordinary courage to change how you date. It’s not easy to reset boundaries, communicate better, flee sexual immorality, confess failures, and end the relationship that needs to end. But you will never regret making the right changes. There were moments through high school and college when I knew with crystal clarity that things needed to change, but the costs kept me from changing sooner. What will others think about me when I confess how I’ve failed? What if I fail again, and things never get better? What if the change I need means I’m single and alone again? Like a merciless lawyer, Satan piled up every conceivable reason not to do what I knew I had to do — to make excuses, to put off decisions, to be almost honest with friends and family, to stay in unhealthy relationships, to avoid Christ and indulge in sin. I have prayed that the four resolutions that follow might give some the courage to do what you’ve been afraid to do for weeks, for months, maybe even for years. To lay down your excuses. To take up your cross. To welcome what it will cost you today to pursue love in light of eternity. To date differently this year, in a way that says something stunning about your God. 1. Above all else, I will look for Jesus. “Welcome what it will cost you today to pursue love in light of eternity.” If you resolve to change nothing else about your patterns in relationships, resolve to make Jesus the most important thing in your dating. Raise Philippians 1:21 over your next relationship: “To me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” If to live is Christ, then to date is Christ. To marry is Christ. To remain single is Christ. He is our reason for living and working, growing and learning, dating and marrying. Above every other priority in dating, look for Jesus. It may sound simple and easy, but Satan wages an all-out war on our hearts and minds to keep us from single-minded devotion. Nothing could be harder. It is emotionally impossible to put Christ before our desires for intimacy and marriage — unless we have the Spirit of Christ. Unless it is no longer we who live and date, but Christ who lives in and through us (Galatians 2:20). Before you entrust your heart to someone else, resolve to love Jesus with all your heart. Before you let yourself daydream about potential futures with him or her, resolve to love Jesus with all your mind. Before you think about knitting your soul with another, resolve to love Jesus with all of your soul first. Before you risk, sacrifice, and work for love, resolve to love Jesus with all your strength. Resolve to love him more than love. And as you give your heart first and foremost to Christ, make sure your boyfriend (or girlfriend) has too — in the deepest places of who he is and what he wants. His faith is not a box to check along with lots of others; it should be the ink that shapes every other box. Whether you are currently in a relationship or might begin one this year, decide right now to date from a deeper, wider, higher love for the Lord. 2. I will grow where I have failed before. One reason we fail in the same ways year after year is that we fail to admit and address our failures. If you have a sexual past or a trail of mistakes behind you, you need to know there is nowhere safer to deal with your failures than in Christ. Someone may have led you to suspect that how you’ve dated has disqualified you from his love, but Christ came and died precisely for the things you’re most ashamed of. The apostle Paul says, The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. (1 Timothy 1:15–16) “If you resolve to change nothing else, resolve to make Jesus the most important thing in your dating.” Guilt and shame qualify us for his love. He wants to put his patience and mercy on display for the world by showering you with mercy and being patient with you . He wants you to step forward, like Paul, to experience what he died to give you. The process begins by boldly bringing our failures before his feet (1 John 1:9), knowing he loves to forgive our wrongs, heal our wounds, and restore our brokenness. If we draw our darkness into his light, he will not only cover our darkness, but dispel it. He will make us someone new, someone different from the stains of our dating history (2 Corinthians 5:17). The process begins at the feet of Jesus, but it does not end there. Those who truly want to change where we have fallen before resolve to seek flesh-and-blood accountability in the specific areas where we have failed (Hebrews 3:12–13). A resolve to grow is a resolve to share with others — to consistently confess our failures, seek out counsel, embrace hard questions, and fold others into our dating relationships. Everyone expects this to happen naturally, and in a few rare instances, it might. In the vast majority of cases, though, this will require extraordinary effort and sacrifice. You will have to care about what other believers think about your relationships more than even they care about what they think. Resolve to grow where you have failed in relationships — to bring your specific failures to your perfectly patient Savior, to confess your specific failures to another believer, and to pursue specific steps, with God’s help, to overcome temptation and cultivate godliness. 3. I will pursue clarity, and postpone intimacy. Likely you have asked yourself (over and over again) what you’re looking for in a significant other. Most people, no matter who they are or what they believe, ask that question. The more important question that fewer of us ask is this: What am I looking for from dating? “Christ came and died precisely for the things you’re most ashamed of. Guilt and shame qualify you for his love.” For many, the answer is simply intimacy. In the fantasies of our imagination, intimacy may look like a thousand different experiences and sensations, but intimacy is often the grail of great price. Unfortunately, when intimacy becomes the great prize, it also becomes the great price we pay. When intimacy fails to materialize, or fails to satisfy us, or fails to last for long, we have only bartered precious pieces of our hearts for painful regret and deeper longings. Beware of letting your dating be driven by the pursuit of intimacy this year. Date to find precious clarity from God about whether to marry. The great prize in marriage is Christ-centered intimacy. The great prize in dating is Christ-centered clarity. This does not mean marry the next person you date, or only date someone you’re certain you would marry; it means make Christ-centered clarity toward marriage the measure of your romance. Am I increasingly confident over time that this is someone I can marry in the Lord? A new resolve to pursue clarity in dating cuts against our impulses toward flirtation, ambiguity, and enticement, and flows into clear and loving communication. Any relationship that cuts against flirtation, ambiguity, and enticement, that intentionally postpones physical intimacy for the covenant of marriage, swims against the current, at least in America today. It will seem strange and awkward to others your age — and beautiful to God. Date for something far more satisfying than physical and emotional intimacy. Date for a deeper purpose. Not because everyone else is doing it. Not because it’s fun. Not because he’s cute. Date because of God. Date for God. Let your love life stem from seeing and enjoying and sharing more of him. 4. I will ask God for help. The most important change in your love life may not be between you and your significant other, but between you and God. Before we try to establish healthy boundaries in our relationship, we need direction from God. Before we go looking for love, we need to seek the Lord. Before we address our communication in dating, we need to address our communication with our Father. Better relationships will begin with God in prayer. “Date for a deeper purpose. Not because everyone else is doing it. Not because it’s fun. Date because of God.” Unless the Lord builds (or rebuilds) our relationships, we date in vain (Psalm 127:1). Unless the Lord watches over you and your girlfriend (or boyfriend), you risk, worry, and date in vain. He knows exactly what you need (Matthew 6:32), where you are weak, and how you will glorify him. Refuse to date anyone unless, like Moses, God goes up with you (Exodus 33:15). And then talk to him about your relationships as much as you talk with anyone else. When passion rises within you, or anxiety creeps in, or confusion clouds your mind and heart, run first to God. No one will help you, keep you, or hear you like him. The best way to discern what God is doing, and how he is directing you, in a relationship this year is to stay close to him. The greater the intimacy you have with him, the greater clarity you will have about who to pursue, what to change, and when to marry.