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"The Meaning of Marriage" by Timothy Keller explores the true essence of marriage as a spiritual partnership designed to bring two people closer to God. With insight drawn from Scripture and personal experiences, Keller delves into the importance of commitment, communication, and love within the context of marriage, offering practical advice and guidance for building a strong and lasting relationship.

Jonathan Edwards

Jonathan Edwards Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758), colonial New England minister and missionary, was one of the greatest preachers and theologians in American history. At the close of the 17th century, the science of Isaac Newton and the philosophy of John Locke had significantly changed man's view of his relationship to God. Man's natural ability to discover the laws of creation seemed to demonstrate that supernatural revelation was not a necessary prelude to understanding creation and the creator. God was no longer mysterious; He had endowed men with the power to comprehend His nature and with a will free to choose between good and evil. It was Jonathan Edwards's genius that he could make full use of Locke's philosophy and Newton's discoveries to reinterpret man's relationship to God in such a way that the experience of supernatural grace became available to people living in an intellectual and cultural climate very different from that of 17th-century England. In so doing, Edwards helped transmit to later generations the richest aspect of American Puritanism: the individual heart's experience of spiritual and emotional rebirth. Further, by his leadership in the religious revivals of the early 18th century, Edwards helped make the experience an integral part of American life for his own time and for the following century. Jonathan Edwards was born on Oct. 5, 1703, in East Windsor, Conn., where his father was a minister. Jonathan's grandfather was pastor to the church in Northampton, Mass. Jonathan was the only boy in the family; he had 10 sisters. He graduated from Yale College in 1720, staying on there as a theology student until 1722, when, though not yet 19 years old, he was called as minister to a church in New York. Edwards served there for 8 months. In 1723, though called to a church in Connecticut, he decided to try teaching. He taught at Yale from 1724 to 1726. Early Writings At an early age Edwards showed a talent for science. At Yale he studied Newton's new science and read Locke with more interest "than the most greedy miser" gathering up "handfuls of silver and gold, from some newly discovered treasure." During these years he also began recording his meditations on the Bible and his observations of the natural world. Edward's central purpose was not to become a scientist but to lead a life of intense holiness. Edwards's "Personal Narrative" (written ca. 1740) and his letters and diaries show a young man whose religious experience was of great power and beauty. As Edwards tells it, after several "seasons of awakenings," at the age of 17 he had a profound religious experience in which "there came into my mind so sweet a sense of the glorious majesty and grace of God, that I know not how to express. I seemed to see them both in a sweet conjunction; majesty and meekness joined together; it was a sweet, and gentle, and holy majesty; and also a majestic meekness; an awful sweetness; a high, and great, and holy gentleness." Adapting Locke's philosophy to his own purposes, Edwards interpreted the "sweet" sense of God's majesty and grace as a sixth and new sense, created supernaturally by the Holy Spirit. As he wrote later in A Treatise of Religious Affections (1746), the new sense is not "a new faculty of understanding, but it is a new foundation laid in the nature of the soul, for a new kind of exercises of the same faculty of understanding." Edwards's perception of ultimate reality as supernatural is further evidenced in his statement that "the world is … an ideal one." He wrote in his youthful "Notes on the Mind": "The secret lies here: That, which truly is the Substance of all Bodies, is the infinitely exact, and precise, and perfectly stable Idea, in God's mind, together with his stable Will, that the same shall gradually be communicated to us, and to other minds, according to certain fixed and exact Methods and Laws." In 1726 Edwards was called from Yale to the Northampton church to assist his grandfather; when his grandfather died in 1729, Edwards became pastor of the church. In 1727 he married the beautiful and remarkable Sarah Pier-repont of New Haven. Early Revivals Religious revivals had been spreading through New England for 100 years. In his youth Edwards had seen "awakenings" of his father's congregation, and his grandfather's revivals had made his Northampton church second only to Boston. In early New England Congregationalism, church membership had been open only to those who could give public profession of their experience of grace. The Halfway Covenant of 1662 modified this policy, but when Edwards's grandfather allowed all to partake of the Sacraments (including those who could not give profession of conversion), he greatly increased the number of communicants at the Lord's Supper. Edwards's first revival took place in 1734-1735. Beginning as prayer meetings among the young in Northampton, the revivals soon spread to other towns, and Edwards's reputation as a preacher of extraordinary power grew. Standing before his congregation in his ministerial robe, he was an imposing figure, 6 feet tall, with a high forehead and intense eyes. A contemporary wrote that Edwards had "the power of presenting an important Truth before an audience, with overwhelming weight of argument, and with such intenseness of feeling, that the whole soul of the speaker is thrown into every part of the conception and delivery… Mr. Edwards was the most eloquent man I ever heard speak." Edwards endeavored to convey as directly as possible the meaning of Christ's Crucifixion and Resurrection. His words, he hoped, would lead his listeners to a conviction of their sinful state and then through the infusion of divine grace to a profound experience of joy, freedom, and beauty. Edwards's A Faithful Narrative of the Surprising Work of God in the Conversion of Many Hundred Souls in Northampton, and the Neighboring Towns and Villages (1737) relates the history of the 1734-1735 revival and includes careful analyses of the conversions of a 4-year old child and an adolescent girl. Edwards's preaching and writings about the nature and process of the religious experience created powerful enemies. In western Massachusetts the opposition to Edwards was led by his relatives Israel and Solomon Williams, who maintained that a man's assurance of salvation does not lie in a direct and overpowering experience of the infusion of grace and that he may judge himself saved when he obeys the biblical injunctions to lead a virtuous life. Edwards too believed that a Christian expresses the new life within him in virtuous behavior, but he denied that a man is in a state of salvation simply because he behaves virtuously. For him, good works without the experience of grace brought neither freedom nor joy. In 1739 Edwards preached sermons on the history of redemption. He clearly thought the biblical promises of Christ's kingdom on earth would be fulfilled soon. His interest in the history of redemption is further evidenced in the many notes he made on the prophecies he found in the Bible and in natural events. Great Awakening In 1740 the arrival in America of George Whitefield, the famous English revivalist, touched off the Great Awakening. Revivals now swept through the Colonies, and thousands of people experienced the infusion of grace. The emotional intensity of the revivals soon brought attacks from ministers who believed that Whitefield, Edwards, and other "evangelical" preachers were stirring up religious fanaticism. The most famous attack was made by Charles Chauncy in Seasonable Thoughts on the State of Religion in New England (1743). Edwards defended the Great Awakening in several books. He acknowledged that there had been emotional excesses, but on the whole he believed the revivals were remarkable outpourings of the Holy Spirit. His works of defense include The Distinguishing Marks of a Work of the Spirit of God (1741), Some Thoughts Concerning the Present Revival of Religion in New England (1742), and A Treatise Concerning Religious Affections (1746), the last a classic in religious psychology. He also wrote a biography of his daughter's fiancé the Native American missionary David Brainer. The Great Awakening intensified Edward's expectations of Christ's kingdom. With English and Scottish ministers, he began a Concert of United Prayer for the Coming of Christ's Kingdom. To engage people in the concert, he wrote An Humble Attempt to Promote Visible Union of God's People in Extraordinary Prayer for the Revival of Religion (1747). Edward's Dismissal The troubles that culminated in Edwards's dismissal from Northampton began in the 1740s. Considerable opposition to Edwards had remained from his revivals. Animosity between him and members of his congregation was increased by an embarrassing salary dispute and an incident in 1744 when Edwards discovered that some children had been secretly reading a book on midwifery. Many children of influential families were implicated; Edwards's reading of their names publicly from the pulpit was resented. But the most important factor in Edwards's dismissal was his decision, announced in 1748, that henceforth only those who publicly professed their conversion experience would be admitted to the Lord's Supper. His decision reversed his grandfather's policy, which Edwards himself had been following for 20 years. Edwards was denied the privilege of explaining his views from the pulpit, and his written defense, An Humble Inquiry into the Rules of the Word of God, Concerning the Qualifications Requisite to a Complete Standing and Full Communion with the Visible Christian Church (1749), went largely unread. After a bitter struggle, the church voted 200 to 23 against Edwards, and on July 1, 1750, he preached his farewell sermon. Late Works In August 1751 Edwards and his large family went to Stockbridge, Mass., where he had been called as pastor to the church and missionary to the Native Americans. As a missionary, he defended the Native Americans against the greed and mismanagement of a local merchant. These struggles consumed much of his time, but he still managed to write extensively. Among the most important works are A Careful and Strict Enquiry into the Modern Prevailing Notions of That Freedom of Will … (1754) and The Great Christian Doctrine of Original Sin Defended (1758). In the first, he asserted that a man has freedom to choose but freedom of choice is not the same as freedom of will. The power which decides what a man will choose—his willing—is in the hands of God and beyond his personal control. In Original Sin Edwards maintained that all men live in the same unregenerate state as Adam after the fall. Two other works show that Edwards had not become embittered by his dismissal. In The Nature of True Virtue (1756) he defines virtue as benevolence to "being" in general. Concerning the End for Which God Created the World (1756) is a prose poem, a praise to God Who is love, and Whose universe is the expression of God's desire to glorify Himself. In January 1758 Edwards became president of the College of New Jersey (now Princeton). Two months later he died of fever resulting from a smallpox inoculation. He was buried in Princeton.

a safe place for sinners to change

Hidden sins destroy Christians because they’re hidden. Far too often, Christians wallow in the darkness, smothered by the guilt of sins that they are too ashamed to name. It’s impossible to put to death a sin you won’t confess. Which means cultivating the right environment for honesty and confession is essential in a Christian community. No issue reveals this better than the struggle against pornography and lust. In my experience, one fundamental factor in creating the right environment for intentional action, real accountability, and healthy habits of confession is the presence and demeanor of a wise pastor or mentor. The gospel presence of a leader is a powerful means of grace that helps Christians resist the hopelessness that often marks this struggle. So, what exactly is  gospel presence ? “Cultivating the right environment for honesty and confession is essential in a Christian community.” By  gospel , I simply mean the good news that, as sinners, we are embraced and accepted by God because of what Jesus has done for us. He lived the life that we couldn’t live. He died the death we should have died. And God raised him from the dead, triumphing over sin and death. Outside of Jesus, there is no hope. In Jesus, we have a living hope. By  presence , I mean that there’s a way of being, an orientation to life and reality and others, a fundamental attitude that emanates from the core of who you are, and shapes and colors everything you do. The way you carry yourself. The impression you give. That’s what I mean by  presence . And gospel presence is crucial for creating the right environment for dealing with any sin, and especially sexual sin. Six Aspects of Gospel Presence Because gospel presence is more about the way that someone carries himself than following a specific set of actions, it’s difficult to define. However, I’ve found Colossians 3:1–17 to be a fruitful place to get the feel of it. Here are six aspects of gospel presence in the passage. First, gospel presence begins with  setting one’s mind on Christ  (Colossians 3:1). Set your mind. Set your affection. Orient your life by Christ, who is your life. He’s the sun; everything in your life orbits around him. Second, gospel presence means  putting on the new self , or the new man (Colossians 3:9–10). The fundamental contrast is between the old man (Adam), who rebelled against God, and the new Man (Jesus), who fully trusted, obeyed, and imaged God. Gospel presence means that you “put on” the new Man — that you “clothe” yourself with Jesus. And that’s a good image for it: You must wear Jesus, like a cloak. There are practices that flow out of this presence. There is an old man with his practices, and a new man with his practices. There are practices that come from and accord with sinful Adam, and practices that come from and accord with Christ. And you can’t do the practices if you don’t put on the presence. Third, gospel presence means that you are  fundamentally defined by God’s love  in the gospel. “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones,  holy and beloved  . . .” (Colossians 3:12). There are characteristics and qualities that you put on and practice because you are holy and beloved by God. He defines you. “By the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Corinthians 15:10). His grace is what makes you who and what you are. Gospel presence means that his love and grace define you, and you know it deep in your bones. Fourth, gospel presence means you are  ruled by the peace of Christ  (Colossians 3:15). You are firm, stable, steadfast, unshaken. You’re not tossed to and fro. When storms come, you’re planted on a rock. When chaos erupts, God’s peace still reigns in your heart. There’s a kind of stability and security that comes from knowing you’re loved by God, defined by grace, oriented by Christ, clothed with the new Man. Fifth, gospel presence means that  the word of Christ dwells in you richly  in all wisdom (Colossians 3:16) — not just that you read your Bible, but that there is a richness and fullness and potency to the word in your life. The Spirit of God hangs on you, and there’s a felt sense that “here’s a person who has been with God.” Gospel presence means you have the wisdom to connect the word of God to life in a way that bears fruit. Last, gospel presence means all of your practices are done  in the name of the Lord Jesus  (Colossians 3:17). Your actions bear his name. They testify to him and point to him and draw attention to him. “Gospel presence aims to create that graciously paradoxical environment that is safe for sinners, but not for sin.” How then does gospel presence serve honest confession and the fight against sin, and especially sexual sin? The gospel presence of a pastor or mentor is designed to create an environment that invites people to confess their sins, to be honest about their struggles, to overcome the natural aversion they have to exposing their shame. In other words, gospel presence aims to create that graciously paradoxical environment that is safe for sinners, but not for sin. They are welcome; their sin is not. And thus there are two key elements of gospel presence that help to create such an environment:  compassionate stability  and  focused hostility . Compassionate Stability Compassionate stability means that a mentor aims to de-escalate the situation by leaning into the mess. Often people who are wrecked by sexual sin are filled with shame, fear of exposure, anxiety about future failure, and hopelessness about the possibility of change. They think, “If I admit out loud what I’ve done or seen or thought, then everyone will be so disgusted by me that they’ll reject me.” Such passions overwhelm a Christian’s desire to be honest about his struggle. The compassionate stability of gospel presence is meant to calm the broken, anxious, and fearful sinner. Compassionate stability leans into the mess. The aim is to communicate that God is  for  them and  with  them through the fact that you as the mentor are  for  them and  with  them. This stability and calmness is not stoic; you should feel deeply for the people to whom you minister. But your passions and emotions are, by God’s grace, under your control and direction so that you can willingly and compassionately lean into their sin. Broken sinners need to know that you’re not recoiling in horror at them, no matter what they confess. They need to  feel  that you (and therefore God) are  with  them and passionately committed to their good. Compassionate stability communicates that we are not afraid of a person’s sin. No matter how dark the darkness, the grace of Jesus can reach deeper. There may still be consequences for certain sins (especially any sins that are also crimes). But compassionate stability communicates that, no matter the consequences, Jesus is real, and he will be with you as you bring your darkness into the light. IF GOD IS FOR US Compassionate stability seeks to embody the deep truths of the gospel reflected in passages like Romans 8:31–39. This passage captures the spirit of compassionate stability as well as any in the Bible. If God is for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:31)? God didn’t spare his own Son but gave him up for us, and will therefore freely and graciously give us everything (8:32). No one can bring a charge against us, because God himself has justified and approved of us (8:33). No one can condemn us, because Christ was crucified  for us  and raised  for us  and is now interceding  for us  (8:34). Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ — not tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword (8:35). God’s all-conquering love means that every possible obstacle to our ultimate good makes us more than conquerors (8:37). Death, life, angels, rulers, present things, future things, powers, height, depth, anything else in all creation — none of these can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (8:38–39). That’s how committed God is to our good, and that’s what faithful pastors and mentors communicate to their people. When nerves are on edge, when passions and fears are raging, compassionate stability plants itself in Romans 8 and brings a deep and settled sense of Spirit-wrought peace and calm. Romans 8 empowers us to be stable and compassionate, and compassionate stability makes an environment that is safe for sinners. Focused Hostility But there’s another aspect to the right environment. Embracing broken sinners entails a violent hostility toward their sin. If we’re really committed to someone’s good, then we will hate and resist those things that are harmful to them. And so it’s necessary to combine compassionate stability with  focused hostility . Focused hostility is still under control, but it includes a relentlessness and patience in exposing and killing sin. Without this focused hostility toward sin, we may find ourselves reluctant to challenge people to pursue holiness. Comforting may turn into coddling. But part of being a wise and faithful counselor to others means communicating the gravity of sin. The Bible minces no words about the consequences of making peace with ongoing sin. “If you live according to the flesh you will die [eternally]” (Romans 8:13). Those who practice the works of the flesh will not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19–21; 1 Corinthians 6:9–10). And the Bible uses intense and violent language to describe how we ought to resist sin: put it to death (Colossians 3:5–6; Romans 8:13); tear it out (Matthew 5:29); cut it off (Matthew 5:30); flee sexual immorality and youthful passions (1 Corinthians 6:18; 2 Timothy 2:22). These words of violence and intensity remind us that we can’t make peace with our sin, because the Holy Spirit will never make peace with our sin. “Gospel presence aims to communicate both that God is for you, and that your sin is not welcome.” Gospel presence aims to communicate both that God is for you, and that your sin is not welcome. A person doesn’t need to clean himself up to come to us or to God; he can come as he is. But we are committed to not letting him stay as he is. And so, with our demeanor and our words, we say, “I am for you; I’m leaning in; I’m not recoiling because of what you just confessed. I love you and I’m with you and I’m for you because God loves you and is with you and is for you. And I am so  for  you that I will never make peace with your sin. I will call you to put it to death, to cut it off, to flee from it.” Gospel presence says to a sinner, sexual or otherwise, “I love you, I’m for you, I’m with you. Now let’s kill it.”

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