Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn Order Printed Copy
- Author: John C Maxwell
- Size: 1.29MB | 212 pages
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About the Book
"Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn" by John C. Maxwell explores the idea that setbacks and failures can be powerful learning experiences that lead to personal growth and success. Through stories and practical advice, Maxwell shows how embracing failure as a chance to learn and improve can ultimately lead to greater achievements in life.
Jackie Hill Perry
Jackie Hill Perry has a way with words, and people canât stop listening. A gifted poet, rapper, writer, and teacher, she has written books and Bible studies, released hip-hop albums, and taught at events, conferences, colleges, and coliseums all over the nation. Inspired by her powerful testimony of salvation and deliverance from a gay lifestyle and her teaching on the holiness of God, the word is out: God is good, He is Lord, and those who surrender to Him are made new.
The Power of God
Itâs a message Jackie is passionate about because she knows firsthand the transformational power of Jesus Christ. She and her husband â fellow spoken-word artist, Preston Perry â met in 2009 while performing at an artistâs showcase. Impressed with Jackieâs poetry, Preston struck up a friendship that deepened over the years. Eventually, they began dating, which presented significant challenges but also great rewards. The Lord used Preston as a source of healing, and marriage forced Jackie to deal with hurts and fears sheâd been reluctant to give to God. The couple, who reside in Atlanta, married in 2014. They are now the parents of three daughters: Eden, Autumn, and Sage; and are expecting a son.
A decade ago, Jackie could never have imagined marriage, motherhood, and ministry in her future. Violated and abandoned by men who should have loved and protected her, Jackie was hurting. Fear and distrust kept watch over her heart. Surrender wasnât an option, even when a loving God promised her new life. Despite some exposure to church and to Scripture, Jackie was adamant that she would never submit to Jesus as Lord.
Her attraction to women started in early childhood and intensified during adolescence. Jackie finally gave in to same-sex desires, along with drugs and other habits that brought comfort, pleasure, and an emotional escape. Suppressing her femininity by wearing menâs clothing and assuming the male role in dating relationships, Jackie says every area of her life was characterized by sin and rebellion against God.
Then one evening, 19-year-old Jackie felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Recalling the experience, she says, âIt was a God thing. No one can ever tell me that I saved myself. I had some understanding of Jesus and obedience and Christianity. But I sincerely wanted nothing to do with God on His terms.â
Even as she resisted, Jackie clearly sensed the Lord speaking to her. âWhen He showed me that all of my sin would be the death of me â that it was true that the wages of sin is death, but it was equally true that God offered eternal life if I would repent and believe â I was compelled to trust Him. For the first time in my life, I knew that God was real and He was worth it. Just the day before, my heart was hard as a rock, and now I wanted Jesus. Only the Holy Spirit could have done that.â
âFor the first time in my life, I knew that God was real and He was worth it. Just the day before, my heart was hard as a rock, and now I wanted Jesus. Only the Holy Spirit could have done that.â
The Power of Words
Jackie dove into Godâs Word and began discovering the woman He designed her to be â mind, body, and spirit. Seeking to express herself in deeper, more artistic ways, she began writing poetry. Jackie didnât shy away from revealing her past or the ongoing struggle with temptation and sin. Her poems unflinchingly spoke gospel truth and glorified God as the ultimate source of love and life. After connecting with the Passion for Christ Movement (P4CM), Jackie was asked to write a poem about being an ex-lesbian. Hesitant at first, she felt the Lord prompting her to move forward. Through its confessional lyrics and rock-solid theology, My Life as a Stud shined a spotlight on Jackieâs conversion and marked the beginning of her public ministry.
âWhen My Life As a Stud came out in 2009, so many gay and lesbian people who didnât go to church, didnât trust Christians, and didnât want to have anything to do with the Bible clicked on the poem and suddenly wanted Jesus. I realized God had given me this art form where Iâm able to speak to peopleâs hearts.â
Since then, she has taken the message of Godâs love to artist showcases, faith-based conferences, college campuses, and major media outlets. The foundation of her message is always the Word of God: In His goodness, God created male and female. As the perfect designer of gender and sexuality, God is worthy of trust and obedience. Although same-sex attraction is central to her testimony, Jackie emphasizes that the church should approach the LGBTQ community the same way it approaches other people. Everyone is created to be an image-bearer of the living God with a unique identity and great worth. Rather than labeling someone as âa gay friend,â itâs important to develop genuine, one-on-one relationships the same way Jesus did. By investing in authentic friendships, Christians will be able to share the gospel because theyâre actually modeling it.
The Power of Redemption
Jackie points out that being âdead in sinâ goes far beyond someoneâs sexual preference. Without Christ, people are lost in every way. But when Jesus gives new life, He forgives and redeems the whole person. She says, âGod saved me from sin, not just my sexuality. I was an all-around sinful person. In essence, sin was my lord. As much as I loved women in a lustful way, I also loved pornography and drugs, bitterness and unforgiveness.â
Through discipleship, Jackie recognized the holistic nature of Godâs redemption. âIâve learned that pride is one of my greatest struggles, even more so than same-sex attraction,â she explains. âPride manifests itself in so many areas of my life, itâs hard to keep up. God didnât just rescue me from being gay. He saved me from believing Iâm a better lord than He is.â In response to the growing debate over same-sex attraction and the frequent questions she receives when people hear her testimony, Jackie wrote her first book, Gay Girl, Good God, to serve three core groups: people seeking to help and understand those within the LGBTQ community; people within the community who may disagree with some of her conclusions but are still intrigued; and people who are believers, yet have same-sex attraction and are trying to figure out how to love Jesus while dealing with those feelings.
When asked what she hopes the church learns from the book, she says, âI want people to see that how you reach the LGBTQ community is the same way you reach anybody â with the gospel. The gospel is about God. The method shouldnât be any different when youâre speaking to someone who is dealing with gluttony or lying or lust. Itâs all the same. God is Lord, Heâs Master, Heâs King, Heâs able to save. And the problem with sin is always a problem between us and God.â
"God is Lord, Heâs Master, Heâs King, Heâs able to save. And the problem with sin is always a problem between us and God."
The Power of Community
Jackie hopes the church will develop greater empathy for same-sex individuals and recognize how difficult it is to walk away from the gay lifestyle. She says, âItâs not a random sin that is easily put off. The feelings are real, and it takes time and work and a long process of dying to self.â Without a supportive church family to encourage and affirm her, the author might have fallen away. The first couple of years as a Christian were the hardest. Jackie had to learn to put off the old nature and put on Christ. The process required spiritual and physical discipline. She had to shop for womenâs clothing, an experience that made her feel strange, vulnerable, and afraid.
Temptation was a constant source of condemnation, at times pushing Jackie into depression and doubt as she grieved over her sinful nature. After a decade of growing in Christ, Jackie still faces temptations but says theyâre more subtle and easier to flee. Instead of looking at women as objects of lust, she chooses to see them as image-bearers of God. In evaluating her walk with the Lord, she considers whether she is loving people well, growing in holiness, and bearing good fruit. And she looks to Jesus, who endured the horror of the cross because He loved God with all of His heart. Knowing Jesus didnât want the cup of suffering, yet accepted it with humility, helps Jackie run the Christian race with endurance.
Endurance and spiritual growth became the inspiration for Jackieâs second album, Crescendo, which was hailed as âstunning,â âflawless,â and arguably âthe best hip-hop album of the year.â Although she began experimenting with rap simply for creative expression, Jackie soon saw it as another platform to share the gospel. When asked about the albumâs title, the talented artist says, âIn music theory, âcrescendoâ means the increase in sound. So I wanted to apply that to faith. When youâre in Christ, as your faith increases, your fruit should get louder. You love more, youâre more generous, more attentive to the needs of people. You listen well. Things begin to change as your faith becomes more evident.â
She wrote the album to mimic that spiritual progression. The first track begins on a low note with âLamentations,â a rap about the reality of sin and the tendency for Jackie to forget sheâs been forgiven. Taking listeners through an honest exploration of spiritual growth, Crescendo ends on a high note, celebrating how the Lord saved Jackie through His gospel, initiated her Christian walk, and sustains her to this day.
The Power of Legacy
A gifted communicator and lyricist, Jackie isnât just impacting culture with wordcraft. Sheâs also building a spiritual legacy for her children. Because of her childhood trauma, the idea of raising daughters was terrifying. But sheâs found so much joy in becoming a mom. Jackie says, âWhen I think of parenthood, I know Iâm only called to steward these children and disciple them and hope they will love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. When I was carrying Eden, Titus 2 really spoke to me about the older women teaching the younger women.
"Once I realized what a privilege it would be to raise up a woman in my home, I welcomed the challenge.â As Jackie reflects on the last decade, she gives God all the glory and praise. Without Christ, she wouldnât have her precious daughters, would have missed out on beautiful friendships, and would never have experienced being loved by a man for the first time in her life. âIf God hadnât rescued me, none of this would be possible,â Jackie says. âLife still has its challenges, for sure. But itâs better. Itâs so much better.â
This article courtesy of HomeLife magazine.
letter to a friend engaged to a nonbeliever
Dear Kelly, I was surprised by the recent news of your engagement. While I wish I could celebrate with you without reservation, I admit I have some. My greatest concern is that your fiancĂ© does not know or love Christ. Because I love you and care about your future, I feel compelled to speak now rather than to hold my peace, knowing full well how you might receive my âpeace.â I expect that, if youâre honest, you may have your own reservations about the upcoming ceremony. I hope you will heed those reservations and reconsider. As I have watched people walk down this road, I have noticed several common ways people justify marrying a nonbeliever. I want to address them in hope that you might experience grace to trust God and his word regarding marriage. âOthers Are Doing It.â âLet me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39).â You know my story. My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. But as much as I love her and our marriage, it was wrong for her to do so. While God was gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39). Furthermore, the difficult path to my own conversion and then to our wedding ceremony is not one I would wish upon others. I fear youâve latched onto Godâs grace in my marriage (and others like mine) as a sort of promise for your own. God has made no such promise. While God was merciful to bring me to himself despite my wifeâs disobedience, we are the exception and not the rule â certainly not the model. I know far more stories that did not play out like ours. The Bible gives us more stories like that (Exodus 34:16; Ezra 9:1â15). Solomon says, âWhoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harmâ (Proverbs 13:20). Donât let the mistakes of others serve as a justification for repeating them. âHeâs a Good Guy.â While I do think your fiancĂ© is a great guy by earthly standards, itâs his standing before God that matters most for marriage. You mentioned how important it was to you that he respected your boundaries, particularly after your last boyfriend pushed the boundaries, even while claiming to be Christian. I agree that he certainly seems to outshine your last suitor, but itâs easy to fall into the trap of lateral comparison. We must be careful about making choices today based solely on setting them next to bad choices in the past. Look for a man striving to imitate Jesus (1 Corinthians 11:1). Why did you put your faith in Jesus, and choose to follow him? Are you absolutely sure you wonât regret committing yourself until death to someone who might never  help you see or love Jesus more? If he does not share your captivation with Christ, you and he will always stand on unlevel and unsteady ground as you carry out your vows in marriage. âGive Him a Chance.â Youâve mentioned that your boyfriend is âwarming upâ to the idea of spiritual things. Youâve even thought at times he might be on the verge of conversion. Beware of your heart, which is prone to lie to you (Jeremiah 17:9), and of the butterflies in your stomach that often flutter louder than the Spirit within us. Until you are absolutely sure that he has also been born again by the same Spirit alive in you (John 3:5), heed the warning and conviction the Spirit brings (John 16:8). âIf he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding?â Donât be fooled into thinking he is simply âspiritual, but not religious.â There is no such thing as spiritual neutrality. We are always either with Jesus or against him (Matthew 12:30). Despite his warmth toward you, any attempt to have God on his own terms is an attempt to reject the true God over your life and heart. If he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding? âIâll Die Alone.â I know it can be hard to see other couples getting married, holding hands, and having kids while you remain single. Donât let this serve as a reason to try and seize marriage at the first opportunity. I wish you could see a glimpse of a future in which you remained faithful to your vows to a man who remained faithless toward your Savior. Worse than attending church alone your entire life, while your husband remained at home, is the haunting thought that the man you gave yourself to might spend eternity separated from you and God. Worse yet is the thought that he might lead you or your children down the same path (Matthew 7:13). It really is possible to be more isolated and alone within a marriage than without. Marriage is no savior. It will not ultimately save anyone from sin or loneliness or unhappiness. It cannot bear the weight of those needs and longings. While the single life is not without trials, remember you are not alone. So long as you cling to Jesus, he will be with you (Matthew 28:20). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Heâs also given you community in the church. Even if your hope for a husband is never fulfilled in this life, you are promised a seat at the great wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7), and he will far surpass everything you might have experienced with an earthly husband. âI Already Said âYes.ââ I know that backing out of your engagement at this point may cost you, financially and otherwise. I know it might feel embarrassing. But it would be far better in the long run to lose some money and gain a few months of heartache than to commit the rest of your life to a marriage God does not want for you. Until you say, âI do,â it is not too late to wait. God may even redeem the situation in a surprising way for his glory if it is handled well. Would it not speak volumes about your faith if you told him you were deciding to entrust your future to God? If you were to say, âThe Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lordâ (Job 1:21)? Tell him you will settle for nothing less than being married âin the Lord.â Confess your disobedience to God and the sin of misleading him. Your repentance and faith could, by Godâs mysterious grace, be the vehicle God uses to bring him to himself. âIf you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage.â Even then, you must make clear to him that a future with you is not promised. Should he come to saving faith, it must be to have God, not to have a wife. Otherwise, he risks making an idol out of you and using Jesus as a means to something else. If you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage. I trust that, if you are willing to listen, the Holy Spirit will lead you into the truth that gaining a husband while forsaking your soul is a trade you do not want to make (Mark 8:36). I also pray that you would eventually see any wounds I have caused you as the faithful wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6), and not as those of an enemy. As you seek Godâs will, hide yourself in him and his will, and wait with patience for the day he will wipe away every tear. With love and grace, Your Pastor