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Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Order Printed Copy

  • Author: Les And Leslie Parrott
  • Size: 1.87MB | 167 pages
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About the Book


"Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" by Les and Leslie Parrott is a practical guide for couples who are preparing for marriage, or seeking to strengthen their existing relationship. The book covers important topics such as communication, conflict resolution, finances, and intimacy, offering insights and exercises to help couples build a strong foundation for a lasting and successful marriage.

Jeanne Guyon

Jeanne Guyon All I had enjoyed before was only a peace, a gift of God, but now I received and possessed the God of peace." It was on July 22, 1680, that Madame Jeanne-Marie Guyon experienced a flood of joy. She believed that God revealed his presence within her and altered her completely. As she described it, "A readiness for doing good was restored to me, greater than ever. It seemed to me all quite free and natural..." In her autobiography she added wryly, "If one may judge of a good by the trouble which precedes it, I leave mine to be judged of by the sorrows I had undergone before my attaining it." This included the deaths of two of her children from smallpox and a wretched marriage. Jeanne-Marie Bouvier was married to Jacques Guyon when she was just sixteen. She had wanted to be a nun, but her parents forbade it. Her twelve years of marriage proved unhappy. Both her husband and mother-in-law harassed her. Consequently, Jeanne-Marie withdrew into prayer. Her husband and mother-in-law did everything in their power to keep her from devotions, even setting one of her own sons as a spy over her; but all they succeeded in doing was to drive her to prayer in the wee hours of the morning when everyone else was asleep. The years of marital misery ended with Jacques' death. At 28, Jeanne-Marie was a widow, free to chart her own course of action. However, she had lost all appetite for spiritual things. She continued to do right, but only from a dreary sense of obligation. It was after several years of this new misery that she experienced God's glorious filling with peace. Now she saw herself as an apostle, bound to share with others the secrets of deeper spiritual life. She became influential at the French court. Her disciples in the palace lived lives of such purity that they stood out in contrast to the greed and sexual debauchery of the majority. Archbishop Fran�ois Fenelon became her close friend. But at court, Madame Guyon's writings came under attack. She asked that they be submitted to the church for examination. Bishop Bossuet condemned them. He demanded that Fenelon do the same. Fenelon refused. He owed much of his own spiritual development to Jeanne's influence. He compiled The Maxims of the Saints, which showed that saints of all eras held views similar to Guyon's. Under pressure from King Louis XIV, the pope censured Fenelon's book. Madame Guyon went to prison. Madame Guyon still divides people. Modern critics say that Jeanne-Marie used self-hypnosis to achieve her "spiritual" states and trances and point out that she used "automatic writing" which suggests spiritualist practice. But among some Protestants in Northern Europe and some Methodists in America, her mysticism is highly regarded. Years later, Madame Guyon insisted that the joy she found on this day still remained with her. "When Jesus Christ, the eternal wisdom, is formed in the soul, after the death of the first Adam, it finds in Him all good things communicated to it.

walk in his providence - how god opens doors for you

When the master in Jesus’s parable gave talents to his servants and went away, two got busy multiplying their master’s money, and one hid his talent in the dirt. Something similar can happen when people like us hear about the providence of God. On the one hand, few doctrines have inflamed more holy ambition in the hearts of God’s people. When some hear that God rules over galaxies and governments, over winds and waves, and over every detail in our little lives (Ephesians 1:11), they get busy doing good. Christians gripped by providence have built hospitals, ended slave trades, founded orphanages, launched reformations, and pierced the darkness of unreached peoples. On the other hand, few doctrines have been used more often to excuse passivity, sloth, and the sovereignty of the status quo. When some hear that God reigns over all, they reach for the remote, kick up their feet, take sin a little less seriously, bury their talents six feet under. They may do good when the opportunity arises, when the schedule allows, but they will rarely  search  for good to do. How could the all-pervasive providence of God energize some and paralyze others? How could it cause some to blaze boldly into the unknown, and others to putter on the same tired paths, rarely dreaming, never risking? Waiting for an Open Door When William Carey, the pioneering missionary to India, first proposed the idea of sending Christians to unreached places, an older pastor reportedly protested, “Sit down, young man, sit down and be still. When God wants to convert the heathen, he will do it without consulting either you or me.” Such an application of God’s providence is simplistic, unbiblical, irresponsible — and yet also understandable. Though many of us would never make such a statement, we have our own ways of allowing providence to lull us into passivity. Consider the common language of waiting or praying for “an open door.” The phrase “open door” comes from the apostle Paul (Colossians 4:3–4), yet many of us use the phrase in ways the apostle didn’t. Paul prayed for open doors, yes, but then he vigorously turned handles (compare 1 Corinthians 16:8–9 with Acts 19:1–10). Many of us, on the other hand, sit in the hallway of life, waiting until a divine hand should swing a door open and push us through it. Too often, by saying, “There was no open door,” we mean that there was no obvious, divine orchestration of events that made our path unmistakable. “I didn’t share the gospel because no one seemed interested.” “I didn’t have that hard conversation because we just never ran into each other.” “I didn’t confess that sin because there didn’t seem to be a good time.” Providence, if distorted, can excuse us from all manner of uncomfortable duties. When William Carey gazed toward India, he did not see what we might call an open door: fifty million Muslims and Hindus living half a world and two oceans away. Hence the pastor’s response. Yet Carey went anyway, believing that God, in his providence, could make a way where there seemed to be no way. And India is still bearing fruit from his faith. For Such a Time as This Carey found his inspiration, of course, from dozens of men and women in Scripture who ventured forth into discomfort and danger by the power of God’s providence. Where did Jonathan find the courage to attack an army with only his armor-bearer at his side? Providence: “Come, . . . it may be that the Lord will work for us, for nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few” (1 Samuel 14:6). How did Esther muster the courage to risk the king’s fury? Providence: “Who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14). Why did David step toward Goliath with only a sling and five stones? Providence: “The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine” (1 Samuel 17:37). “God has planned for some doors to open only as we push them.” Some hear, “God reigns over all,” and think, “Then what difference could my effort make?” Others, like Jonathan, Esther, and David, heard, “God reigns over all,” and thought, “Then God can use even my effort, small though it is.” And so, after thinking, weighing, and praying, they went forth — not always sure that God would prosper their plans, but deeply confident that, if he wanted to, no force in heaven or on earth could stop him. In other words, they knew their God ruled in heaven. They saw a need on the earth. And with “Your kingdom come” burning through the chambers of their hearts (Matthew 6:10), they dreamed up something new for the sake of his name. Act the Providence of God Perhaps, for some of us, the difficulty lies here: we expect to  react to  the providence of God, but not to  act  the providence of God. Some of us live as though providence were something only to  react to . We wait for a clear, providential open door, and then we react to that providence by walking through the doorway. But as we’ve seen, God has planned for some doors to open only as we push them. He has planned for us to  act  his providence. Paul gives us the clearest biblical expression of this dynamic in Philippians 2:12–13: “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Notice: Our work does not  follow  God’s work. Rather, our work is the  simultaneous effect  of God’s work. Or as John Piper writes, “What Paul makes plain here is how fully our own effort is called into action. We do not wait for the miracle; we act the miracle” ( Providence , 652). Sometimes, to be sure, God is pleased to place some good work right in our lap. Perhaps someone really does ask about the hope that is in us, or the hard conversation we need to have opens easily and naturally. In moments like these, we do indeed react to God’s providence. But God can be just as active in us when our effort is fully involved: when we invite a neighbor over to study the Bible together, or when we arrange a time and place for the difficult talk. We need not wait for something unmistakably divine, something unquestionably providential, before we work out our salvation in all kinds of obedience. Instead, we need only see some good work to do, entrust ourselves to God through earnest prayer, work hard in conscious dependence on him, and then, once finished, turn around and say with Paul, “It was not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10). And thus we  act  the providence of God. Imagine Good In his providence, God has prepared good works for us to walk in (Ephesians 2:10). But many of them will not come as we passively drift beneath God’s providence. They will come to us, instead, as we strain our renewed minds, bend our born-again imaginations, and fashion possibilities in the factory of our new hearts — knowing that every good resolve is a spark of his providence. “You are who you are, what you are, where you are, because of the all-pervasive providence of God.” So look around you. Nothing about your life is an accident. You are who you are, what you are, where you are, because of the all-pervasive providence of God. He has given you whatever talents you have, in his wisdom, for such a time as this — so that you would add a stroke to the canvas in front of you, chisel away at the statue you see, speak and act in the drama you’re in, so that this world looks a little more like the work of art God is redeeming it to be. There are neighbors to befriend, children to disciple, churches to plant, crisis-pregnancy centers to serve, and a thousand tasks at our jobs to do with excellence and love. And how will we know if God, in his providence, has opened a door for any of these opportunities? We will pray and turn the handle.

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