Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Order Printed Copy
- Author: Les And Leslie Parrott
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About the Book
"Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" by Les and Leslie Parrott is a practical guide for couples who are preparing for marriage, or seeking to strengthen their existing relationship. The book covers important topics such as communication, conflict resolution, finances, and intimacy, offering insights and exercises to help couples build a strong foundation for a lasting and successful marriage.
Brother Yun
Brother Yun was born in February 1958 in the province of Henan. His original name was Liu Zhenying (ćæŻè„).
Brother Yun became a believer at the age of 16. Soon after he became a Christian, God called him to be His witness in the west and south. As he was obedient to the calling, he eventually became a witness of Christ not just in the western and southern parts of China, but throughout China and in the nations beyond China as well.
Brother Yun was born into a poor family. His familyâs financial situation took a turn for the worst when his father became ill with an asthmatic condition that led to lung cancer eventually. His life got worse when he became a Christian as he suffered severe trials and persecutions. In the midst of suffering for the Lord, however, he experienced miracle after miracle, which helped to strengthen his faith.
HOW BROTHER YUN BECAME A BELIEVER
In 1974, Brother Yunâs father became ill with lung cancer. His mother, who had been a Christian for many years but had become spiritually cold after the expulsion of Western missionaries during the Cultural Revolution, felt a deep sense of desperation because if her husband had died then, it would leave the family in dire straits. She thought of committing suicide. One evening, as she was lying in bed, she heard a voice saying to her that Jesus loved her. In tears and in repentance, she rededicated her life to God and gathered her family to pray for her husband. The next morning, her husband got better and as a result, everyone in the family, including Brother Yun, put their faith in God.
HIS HUNGER FOR THE WORD OF GOD
Brother Yun was 16 when he became a Christian. Soon after, he started hungering for the Word of God. However, his family did not have a Bible. He began asking his mother who Jesus was. In response, his mother would tell him that Jesus was the Son of God and that He had recorded all His teachings in the Bible.
Brother Yun wanted a Bible and his mother recalled that there was a man in another village who had one. So she brought him to see the man. The man was too afraid to show Brother Yun his Bible. So he suggested to the latter that he could pray and ask God for one.
Brother Yun decided to fast and pray for a Bible. For the next 100 days, he ate only one bowl of steamed rice everyday. One day at 4am, after fasting for 100 days, he saw a vision. In the vision, he was walking up a steep hill and trying to push a heavy cart at the same time. He was heading towards a village where he intended to beg for food for his family. He struggled greatly as he continued his climb uphill. The cart was about to roll back and fall on him when he saw three men walking down the hill in the opposite direction. One of them was a kind old man and he was pulling a large cart of fresh bread. When the old man saw Brother Yun, he asked him if he was hungry. He said âyesâ and started crying. The old man then took a red bag of bread from his cart and asked his two servants to give it to Brother Yun. As he put the bread into his mouth, it immediately turned into a Bible.
Upon waking up, Brother Yun began to search for the Bible. His search, however, was in vain. All of a sudden, he heard a faint knock on the door and someone was calling out his name. Immediately, he recognised the voice â it was the same voice he had heard in the vision. He quickly opened the door and standing before him were the two servants he had seen in the vision. One of them held a red bag in his hand. In this red bag was a Bible.
It was later that Brother Yun found out the names of the two men. One was Brother Wang while the other was Brother Sung. They were sent by an evangelist to give Brother Yun the Bible. The evangelist, who had suffered terribly during the Cultural Revolution and had nearly died while being tortured, had received a vision from God. In the vision, God showed him Brother Yunâs house and the location of his village. He was asked to give his Bible to Brother Yun. However, he did not obey God until three months later.
Brother Yun began to devour the Word of God. Even though he could hardly read, this did not deter him at all. When he had finished reading the entire Bible, he started to memorise one chapter per day. In 28 days, he had memorised the Gospel of Matthew. Then he went on to memorise the Book of Acts and so forth.
OBEDIENT TO THE CALL OF GOD
One morning at 4am, Brother Yun had a dream. In the dream, God asked him to be His witness in the west and south. In the same dream, he saw a young man from the south coming to his house. And so at daybreak, he told his mother to expect the young manâs visit and to ask him to wait for him. Then he sat off to a village he had never heard of in the west. The people in this village had been praying for him to visit as they had heard about how he had prayed for a Bible and got it.
When the meeting at the village concluded and Brother Yun got ready to leave, the villagers refused to let him go. So he stayed on and recited to them the first twelve chapters from the Book of Acts. After that, the villagers finally let him go. From the village to his house, it could take up to 2 hours to walk. Because he did not want to make the young man from the south wait too long, he decided to run home. All of a sudden, he found himself entering his village without any apparent time lapse. What should have taken him a few hours took him just a few moments. It was as if God had supernaturally transported him back to his village.
PERSECUTIONS AND MIRACLES IN HIS LIFE
Brother Yun was arrested by security police numerous times and was thrown into prison three times for sharing the gospel in communist China.
When Brother Yun was arrested the first time, he was only 17 years old. At that time, he was ministering at a meeting far away from home. After he was caught, he was thrown into a freezing cold prison cell. There was no heat in the cell and his winter coat had been thrown into the snow by the security police who had caught him. He began to sing Psalm 150 aloud. The more he sang, the more he was filled with joy. Gradually, his frozen hands and feet regained feeling and he no longer felt cold.
During his first imprisonment in Nanyang, Brother Yun felt that God wanted him to fast without food and water until he could see his family again. This fast lasted 74 days, which was humanly impossible but yet was made possible because he chose to obey God.
During those times when Brother Yun was in the hands of government officials, he was repeatedly beaten and tortured with electric batons. He was also kicked and trampled upon. Furthermore, he had needles being jabbed underneath his fingernails.
Once, Brother Yun was paraded through the streets with a red cross tied behind him for half a day. When night fell, he was locked and left alone inside a large interrogation room. The wooden cross was taken off his back but his hands were still tied up. All of a sudden, the rope that was used to tie his hands snapped by itself. He immediately walked out of the interrogation room and walked through the courtyard in the midst of onlookers. Nobody stopped him or said anything to him. It was as if God had blinded their eyes and they did not even recognise who he was.
Because the front gate was locked, the only way Brother Yun could get out was to climb over an eight-foot high cement wall. He climbed up as much as he could manage. Then he looked over the wall and saw that there was a ten-foot wide open tank directly below. Suddenly, he felt as if someone had lifted him up and thrown him over. He was thrown so far that he did not land in the tank.
Brother Yunâs 3rd imprisonment was a very dark period in his life as the prison guards in the maximum security prison were determined to prevent his escape. So they beat his legs to cripple him permanently. They had him beaten up everyday, even in his crippled state. One day, God instructed him to escape from the prison. This was confirmed by a brother-in-Christ. Thus, on May 5, 1997, he miraculously walked past dozens of prison guards and out of the maximum security prison. It was as if he had become invisible to the guards. He did not realise that his legs had been miraculously healed until later.
Throughout all the horrendous and painful experiences that Brother Yun went through, the word of the Lord kept coming to him, encouraging him and strengthening his faith.
BROTHER YUNâS MINISTRY
Brother Yun eventually escaped China and sought asylum in Germany in 2001. Since then, he has been continuing his ministry from there and has spoken to congregations internationally. He has founded âBack to Jerusalemâ Movement and has been sending missionaries out from China to share the gospel in the least-reached nations.
Brother Yunâs life and ministry have impacted many lives. Thousands of people have become Christians through his ministry. It is thus inevitable that fellow Christians have allowed themselves to be used as instruments of wickedness to attack his reputation. The co-author of The Heavenly Man, Paul Hattaway has aptly put it this way, âMany of the great Christian leaders throughout history have been the subject of brutal attacks from other Christians.â
AFTERTHOUGHT
Brother Yunâs childlike faith and his prompt obedience to Godâs call are exemplary. It is incredible that he has remained faithful to God despite the tremendous suffering and persecutions he has gone through.
How Did Evil Begin
Why is there a Satan? Why does a being exist whose name means accuser â a âdevil,â which means slanderer, a âdeceiver of the whole worldâ (Revelation 12:9), a âruler of this worldâ (John 12:31; 14:30; 16:11), a âgod of this ageâ (2 Corinthians 4:4 NKJV), a âprince of the power of the airâ (Ephesians 2:2), a âBeelzebul, the prince of demonsâ (Matthew 12:24)? Where does he come from? How did it come about that he ever sinned? The letters of Jude and 2 Peter give us clues. Jude 6 says, âThe angels who did not stay within their own position of authority, but left their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains under gloomy darkness until the judgment of the great day.â And 2 Peter 2:4 says, âGod did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment.â It appears, then, that some of Godâs holy angels (we may assume, in principle, that Satan is included, whether these verses refer to his original rebellion or a later one) âsinned,â or as Jude says, âdid not stay within their own position of authority.â In other words, the sin was a kind of insurrection, a desire for more power and more authority than they were appointed by God to have. So Satan and the other fallen angels originate as created holy angels who rebel against God, reject him as their all-satisfying King, and set out on a course of self-exaltation and presumed self-determination. They do not want to be subordinate. They do not want to be sent by God to serve others (Hebrews 1:14). They want to have final authority over themselves. And they want to exalt themselves above God. Most Popular Answer But these thoughts about the origin of Satan do not answer the question we began with: Why is there a Satan? They simply push the question back to the very beginning. Why did any holy angel sin? Here is the most popular answer of our modern era: All of Godâs creatures were created âfree moral agents.â If God had made them otherwise they would have been mere machines with no will of their own. . . . To be a âfree moral agentâ implies that one has the power of âchoice.â . . . As long as Satan chose the âWill of Godâ there was no âEvilâ in the Universe, but the moment he chose to follow his own Will, then he fell, and by persuading others to follow him he introduced âEvilâ into the Universe. (Clarence Larkin, The Spirit World, 12â14) There are at least two problems with this presumed answer: (1) it does not answer the question and (2) it assumes that God cannot exert sufficient influence on a morally responsible being so as to keep that being safe in the worship of God â to keep him from sinning. âFree Willâ Philosophy First, it does not answer the question, Why did any holy angel sin? To say that a perfect angel sinned because he had the power to do so is no answer. Why would a perfectly holy angel in Godâs infinitely beautiful presence suddenly be inclined to hate God? âFree willâ â that is, ultimate self-determination â is not an answer. It explains nothing. âFree willâ is a name put on a mystery. But it is not the biblical name. Because the Bible never teaches that there is such a thing as ultimate human, or ultimate demonic, self-determination. That is a philosophical notion forced onto the Bible, not taught by the Bible. In fact, that philosophical notion was one of Satanâs first designs for humanity â to persuade Adam and Eve that they could be ultimately self-determining, and that this would be good for them (Genesis 3:4â5). Both of those ideas were false. They could not become ultimately self-determining, and it was deadly for them to try. The human race has been ruined by these notions ever since. Slandering Godâs Saving Power Second, Larkinâs appeal to angelic self-determination assumes that God cannot exert sufficient influence on a morally responsible being so as to keep that being safe in the worship of God forever. Larkinâs deadly mistake is to assume that if God exerted such influence, the angels âwould have been mere machines with no will of their own.â This too is a philosophical assumption forced on the Bible, not taught by the Bible. In fact, the Bible pervasively teaches the opposite â that God can and does exert sufficient influence on morally responsible beings (his children!) to keep them safe in the worship of God forever. When the Bible says, for example, that God will âcause [us] to walk in [his] statutesâ (Ezekiel 36:27), and that he is âworking in us that which is pleasing in his sightâ (Hebrews 13:21), and that he âworks in [us], both to will and to work for his good pleasureâ (Philippians 2:13), and that the work he began in us he âwill bring . . . to completion at the day of Jesus Christâ (Philippians 1:6), and that he âwill sustain [us] to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christâ (1 Corinthians 1:8), and that âthose whom he justified he also glorifiedâ (Romans 8:30) â when God says all this, he means for us to stop talking nonsense about such glorious influence turning us into machines. It doesnât. It is life-giving grace. It is effective. It keeps us safe forever. And to call it machine-making is slanderous. If God did not exert sovereign influence over our wayward hearts, we would all fall away. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love. Hereâs my heart, oh, take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above. âIf God did not exert sovereign influence over our wayward hearts, we would all fall away.â Godâs âsealingâ (Ephesians 1:13) â his decisive, keeping influence â does not turn us into machines. It keeps us safe in the worship of God forever. No one who is justified will fail to be glorified (Romans 8:30). Heaven will never see an insurrection among the saints. Not because we are better than the angels, but because the blood of Jesus secured the new covenant for Godâs elect, where God says, âI will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from meâ (Jeremiah 32:40). He bought this pledge for his children by his blood. They will not commit treason. Let us praise such sovereign, merciful, keeping influence. God save us from slandering his saving power. It is false when Larkin assumes that God could not have kept his holy angels from sinning â safe in the worship of God. It is false to assume that such sovereign influence would make angels, or humans, into robots. It doesnât. Redemptionâs Stage What then is the answer to the question, Why did any holy angel sin? The answer is that God had a wise and gracious purpose. That is why it happened. Some of Godâs holy angels sinned because their fall would set in motion a history of redemption that would fulfill the infinitely wise purposes of God in creation. All the âunsearchable . . . judgmentsâ and all the âinscrutable . . . waysâ of God flow from the depths of his wisdom (Romans 11:33). âO Lord, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them allâ (Psalm 104:24). He is âthe only wise Godâ (Romans 16:27). All that happens from eternity to eternity happens according to the wisdom of the one âwho works all things according to the counsel of his willâ (Ephesians 1:11). And we know it was a gracious purpose because Godâs plan before the creation of the world was to show grace to unworthy sinners. Sin came into being as part of a plan to show grace to sinners. â[God] saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages beganâ (2 Timothy 1:9). The plan before creation was that Christ would be the Lamb slain for sinners â sinners whose names were âwritten before the foundation of the world in the book of life of the Lamb who was slainâ (Revelation 13:8). Christ slain for sinners was the plan before any human sinned. Two Unassailable Truths But notice what question I am not answering here. I am not answering the question, How did the first sin happen in the heart of a holy angel? The why question I have answered by saying the first sin happened as part of Godâs wisdom and purposes and planning. But that assumes God was able to see to it that the first sin happened without himself being a sinner, and without making the first sinning angel into a machine. I do not know the answer to the question of how God did this. This, to me, is one of the great mysteries of biblical teaching that I cannot explain â how God governs the will of sinful beings, yet, in doing so, does not sin, and does not take away their responsibility. I see that it is true, because the Bible teaches it, but how God does this remains a mystery. Recall that above I said that âfree willâ â ultimate self-determination â is the name some people put on this mystery. Then I added that this is not the biblical name. Because the Bible never teaches that there is such a thing as ultimate self-determination, except in God. The Bible doesnât give the mystery a name. Rather it teaches two truths again and again: God governs the hearts and minds of all sinful beings without himself sinning, and they are truly and justly accountable for all their sins. Sovereign over Satan Since we are not told explicitly how things transpired in the fall of Satan, it is illuminating to study how God relates to Satanâs will now. Is God helpless when a satanic will chooses to do evil? Can God restrain that will? Or would that only turn the will into a machine? The biblical answer is that God has the right and power to restrain Satan anytime he pleases. Consider these examples. 1. Though Satan is called âthe ruler of this worldâ (John 12:31), Daniel 4:17 says, âThe Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will.â Satanâs world rule is subordinate to Godâs. 2. Though unclean spirits are everywhere doing deceptive and murderous things, Jesus Christ has all authority over them. âHe commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey himâ (Mark 1:27). 3. Satan is a roaring lion, prowling and seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Peter explains that the jaws of this lion are, in fact, the sufferings of persecution: âResist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the worldâ (1 Peter 5:9). But this suffering, Peter says, does not happen apart from Godâs sovereign will: âIt is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be Godâs willâ (1 Peter 3:17). 4. Satan is a murderer from the beginning (John 8:44). But God decides, finally, who lives and who dies and when: âIf the Lord wills, we will live and do this or thatâ (James 4:15). 5. When Satan aims to destroy Job and prove that God is not his treasure, he must get permission from God before he attacks his possessions (Job 1:12) or his body (Job 2:6). 6. Satan is the great tempter. He wants us to sin. Luke tells us that Satan was behind Peterâs three denials. âSatan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheatâ (Luke 22:31). But Jesus is sovereign over this tempterâs work, and its outcome. He says to Peter, âI have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothersâ (Luke 22:32). Not âif you turn,â but âwhen you turn.â Christ rules over all of Satanâs designs. Satan aims to fail Peter. Jesus aims to fit him for leadership. 7. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:4 that Satan âhas blinded the minds of the unbelievers.â But two verses later, God removes that blindness. âGod, who said, âLet light shine out of darkness,â has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christâ (2 Corinthians 4:6). So now back to the question about the origin of Satanâs sinfulness. Is God helpless before the will of his own angels? Is there a power outside himself that limits his rule over their choices and plans? My conclusion is that, from cover to cover, the Bible presents God as governing Satan and his demons. He has the right and power to restrain them any time he pleases. Guarding the Mystery The sum of the matter, then, about where a sinful Satan came from is this: He was a holy angel who mysteriously came to prefer self-exaltation over God-exaltation. He fell into the delusion that ultimate self-determination was possible for a finite creature, and that it was preferable to submitting to God. This fall was part of Godâs all-wise plan. It did not take him off guard. How God saw to it that this part of his plan came to pass, without himself sinning and without turning Satan into a machine, I do not know. âFrom cover to cover, the Bible presents God as governing Satan and his demons.â Trying to explain this mystery with so-called âfree willâ â that is, ultimate self-determination â is unbiblical and vacuous. It is unbiblical because the idea that any of Godâs creatures has ultimate self-determination is not taught anywhere in the Bible. And it is vacuous because it does not explain anything. Simply asserting that a holy angel had the âpower of choiceâ offers no explanation of why a perfectly holy being in Godâs infinitely beautiful presence would suddenly be inclined to hate God. We should probably take our cue from the reticence of the Bible to speak about Satanâs origin. He is there in the first pages of the Bible with no explanation. The mystery of his first sin remains just that. We surround it and guard it with biblical truth, lest unbiblical and vacuous explanations spread like a smog over the Scriptures and obscure the glory of Godâs saving purposes. Article by John Piper Founder & Teacher, desiringGod.org