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About the Book
"Listening to the Whispers of Jesus" by Adam Houge explores the importance of developing a closer relationship with Jesus through prayer and listening to His guidance. The book offers practical tips and insights on how to tune into God's voice and follow His will in our daily lives.
Mary Winslow
Godly people speak long after their deaths. This is no exception with Mary Winslow. The biography of this godly woman is heart-warming to read. It is filled with lessons for Christians today on how to walk with Christ even when things are hard in your life.
Sitting at Jesusâ Feet with Mary Winslow
At the heart of godliness is a living bond with the Lord Jesus. That bond evidences itself in âsitting at Jesusâ feet,â as Mary did (Luke 10:39). But what does that involve? A beautiful example of that is another Mary â Mary Winslow, a woman whose devotional writings continue to be printed today. Her writings breathe of tender, humble, and delightful communion with Christ.
The Emptiness of Entertainment
Mary was born on February 28, 1774 in Bermuda, a beautiful island in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean. As an only child of well-to-do parents, she received a good education, but little religious instruction. When she was ânearly eighteen ... (merry), thoughtless, (and) full of life,â she married an army Lieutenant stationed in Bermuda, Thomas Winslow. A little later, when she attended a ball where she basked in the light of popularity, she afterwards sensed the emptiness of it all.
One question began to weigh on her: How can I be righteous before God? Her attempts to obey Godâs law could not satisfy her conscience. Her spiritual distress led her to turn to the Scriptures and plead with God for mercy. She was also brought under an evangelical and experimental ministry, which pointed her to the Saviour of sinners.
As she bowed before Him in her need, the Lord spoke to her soul: âI am thy salvation.â This grace led to a fundamental change in her life. Her husband and others around her only had a formal religion and did not understand her heart experience. This even led her to question whether what she experienced was true, saving grace. But in her distress, the Lord reassured her of His grace.
Having been saved, she became concerned for the spiritual welfare of those around her. She sought to support an evangelical ministry in Bermuda, which had not been present earlier. She instituted family worship in her home, in spite of the initial resistance of her husband.
Great Trials In Life
Other changes also entered her home. Through bad investments, her husband lost much of his fortune. Since they had ten children, including many sons, they decided to move to America. She left ahead with her children. Shortly after she arrived in New York, her infant daughter became sick and died. Before she could even bury her daughter, the message came that her husband had died in England. She wrote that it was âthe heaviest affliction I have ever met with.â
This period was not only marked by the grief of bereavement, but also âspiritual darkness and despondency.â Yet, she confessed, âthe Lord, even in this, has not chastened me according to my backslidings.â Greater yet, the Lord returned with His comfort.
Life continued. As a poor widow, she had to raise her large family. She wrote, âI thought, âHow can I, a helpless woman, care for, and train up, these children to manhood?â I felt I should sink beneath the overwhelming conviction of my weakness and insufficiency.â In this distress, the Lord came with His comforting promise: âI will be a Father to thy fatherless children.â This promise was her pleading ground in the ensuing years, as she wrestled in prayer for her childrenâs salvation.
Some years later, she witnessed a time of revival, first personally, and then in her family and surrounding churches. After a time of darkness, she wrote, God âfilled my heart with unspeakable joy.â God also converted the three sons who were still at home. She continued to pray for the salvation of her older children until they also came to a saving knowledge of Christ. Several sons became ministers.
Mary often struggled with poor health. Towards the end of her life, her health declined to the point where she was confined to her bed. She remained mentally clear and longed to be with her Lord. On October 3, 1854, her desire was fulfilled. Her faint, yet distinct last words were: âI see thee! I see thee! I see thee!â
Great Comfort At Jesusâ Feet
While her afflictions were greater than those of many others, her joys were also deeper than those of many of Godâs people. She was often at the feet of the Lord Jesus. She described her conversion this way: âI was brought to the feet of Jesus.â She did not mean that she simply began a routine of devotional activities, but that God led her to Christ Himself, to bow before Him, receive of His grace, and experience communion with Him.
What that communion involved is best said in her own words. âI have just been favoured with a most precious interview with the King of kings,â she wrote. âHe admitted me, even me, into His royal presence-chamber, and encouraged me to open my mouth wide, telling Him all that was in my heart; and you may be sure I did presume to make large demands upon his goodness ... My heart was dissolved into love and my eyes into tears. I wept that ever I could sin against such a God, grieve that blessed Spirit by whom I am sealed unto glory.â
From a sickbed, she wrote: âI have to deal most clearly with God in Jesus now. He is all in all to me ... My soul holds converse with him, and sweet I find it to lie as a helpless infant at his Feet; yea, passive in his loving hands, knowing no will but His. Holy and distinguished is the privilege of talking with Him as a man talketh with his friend, without restraint or concealment. What a mercy, thus to unburden the whole heart â the tried and weary, the tempted and sorrowful heart â tried by sin, tried by Satan, tried by those you love. What a mercy to have a loving bosom to flee to, one truly loving heart to confide in, which responds to the faintest breathing of the Spirit! Precious Jesus, how inexpressibly dear art Thou to me at this moment! Keep sensibly near to me.â
She did not always experience the same richness of communion, but she knew, âMy choicest seat is at the foot of the Cross ... When I can but view His bleeding wounds, and obtain one glance by faith of His gracious countenance, it is worth a thousand worlds to me.â Is that your confession? You may not always sit at the foot of the Cross and sensibly experience His love and your unworthiness, but if you have ever sat at His feet, you will agree that there is no better place in the world.
What Can We Learn?
Mary Winslowâs life evidences the lessons learned at Jesusâ feet. The most basic lessons involve a deepening knowledge of her sin and Christâs love. Often she wrote things like:
I feel my vileness, my unprofitableness, my woeful shortcomings, and am thankful if I can but only creep to the foot of the Cross, and there repose my weary soul, refreshed by one look at Jesus, who, I do trust, died for my sins.â âNever, never did sin appear so hateful, and my own nothingness so great, as yesterday at the table of the Lord ... but still my hope was in the Lord.â âI have never wept so much for sin as I have done lately ... But while I have thus been led of late to mourn so much for sin, I have never felt pardon so abundantly manifested. God be praised for a free-grace gospel!
As her life drew to a close, she said: âI shall enter heaven a poor sinner saved by grace. I seem to have done nothing for the Lord, who has done so much for me.â Her life shows that greater views of Christ and greater views of sin go together and lead to humility, love, and dependence on the Lord.
Another grace received at Jesusâ feet is the desire for holiness. Often she would write things like: âHow beautiful does holiness appear to me! To be holy is to be happy. May the Lord sanctify us!â âMy heart longs for full sanctification. I am wearied with sin; my soul loathes it, and I abhor myself in dust and in ashes.â âOh, I want to be more conformable to his lovely image, to be sanctified, body, soul, and spirit, and to have every power of my mind under the constant influence of the Holy Spirit.â A view of Christâs holiness and beauty fuelled the desire to be like Him.
A desire for holiness shows itself in her heavenly-mindedness. Often she exhorted to meditate on the glory of heaven, expressed longings to walk as a pilgrim, and one day âto see Jesus, to bask in the full sunshine of His glory, and to sit forever at His feet.â Her son, Octavius, wrote: âher religion was eminently practical ... her life was singularly useful, because her mind was transcendently heavenly.â She exhorted, âMy dear children, live for eternity; this world is not worth living for.â
While she longed to be with Christ, she also had Paulâs desire to be of use on earth. She showed compassion to the poor, sick, lonely, and needy. She visited, helped, and spoke to them. Her main burden was the salvation of loved ones and acquaintances. She exhorted others: âLet us who believe, pray, and exhort, and employ every opportunity to arouse, to instruct, and win all to Christ, who has life, yea, eternal life, to give to all who seek it sincerely and earnestly.â Even in her dying days she wrote: âmy time now is short; I would fain be useful in encouraging others to come to Thee, thou Fountain.â
Mary Winslowâs God Lives
Mary Winslowâs words and example give us beautiful instruction. To learn more from her, read her book of letters, entitled Heaven Opened: The Correspondence of Mary Winslow, published by Reformation Heritage Books. You can read it as a daily devotional. Another excellent source is Octavius Winslowâs Life in Jesus: A Memoir of Mrs. Mary Winslow, Arranged from Her Correspondence, Diary, and Thoughts (Morgan, PA: Soli Deo Gloria, 1995). Now that Reformation Heritage Books has acquired Soli Deo Gloria Publications we hope they will soon republish this classic work.
There is one warning: her life may expose the poverty of your own spiritual life or the complete absence of communion with Christ. Christian biography has a way of doing that. Or is that warning actually a blessing? Godâs purpose is not to put Mary Winslow on a pedestal and make us sink down in discouragement before her. Instead, it is to deliver us from spiritual complacency and dead presumption and stir up a longing to receive the same grace that enables us to sit at Jesusâ feet. Mary Winslowâs confession that she was a sinner was true. Everything worth learning from her is Godâs grace in her. Her God still lives to give the same grace.
When we see someone with something beautiful, we might ask, âHow did you get that?â When you see godliness in another, do you ask similar questions? If Mary Winslow had been asked how she came to sit at the Lord Jesusâ feet, one word would have sounded: âgrace.â By sovereign grace she was âbrought as a poor sinner to His feet.â At the same time, she knew the Lord uses means to lead into communion with Him and restore it again, she exclaimed, âHow needful are the means of grace, if we wish to thrive.â
Godâs Word
Godâs Word is so important. When the Lord first uncovered Mary Winslowâs need of Him, she turned to His Word for relief. That Word then became increasingly precious to her. Though she complained of times of coldness, her private journal records how God blessed her searching of scripture. She also once wrote âwhile reading in the family my heart was drawn out by faith to Christ, and could not but speak of Him to my children.â That is why she counseled, âBe much searching scriptures.â
Though she occasionally wrote that what others called an excellent sermon was no blessing to her, her delight was to hear sermons. She could write, ânext to communion with God, it is my greatest comfort and joy to wait upon the preaching of the word.â Preaching filled with the richness of Christ and the indispensability of the Holy spiritâs work fed her soul.
She also loved to read books expounding the truths of scripture. Some of her favourite authors are still in print today: Thomas Boston, John Newton, Samuel Rutherford, and others. Her advice is timely: âKeep to the old divines. Modern divinity is very shallow â has very little of Christ and experience. May God give you a spiritual appetite!â
Mary Winslow points us to the Word as the means God uses to work and feed godliness. Her counsel is so basic, but do we practice it? Do we not simply read, but search the scriptures, as one searching for treasure? Do we come to church with the prayer to hear His voice? Do we read edifying books? Do we meditate on what we read? Through His Word, Christ leads to His feet to teach in a way that changes hearts and lives.
Prayer
Prayer is the other essential activity at the Lord Jesusâ feet. Begin your day with prayer. Mary Winslow confessed, âMy first prayer in the morning when I awake is addressed to the Holy spirit, that He would take possession of my thoughts, my imagination, my heart, my words, throughout the day, directing, controlling, and sanctifying them all.â she warns, âNever, never omit secret prayer ... Remember, the first departures from Christ begin at the closet, or rather in the heart; and then private prayer is either hurried over, becomes a mere form, or is entirely neglected.â Times in which we set everything aside to be alone in private prayer are essential. The devil always tries to keep us from our knees with work or entertainment only because he knows the importance of prayer. She also knew its importance. She exclaimed, âOh, the mighty power of prayer! Even the best of Christians know but little what it really is.â
She exhorts, âYou cannot come too often. Bring to Him your little cares as well as your great ones. If anything is a trouble to you, however small it may be, you are warranted, nay, commanded, to take it to Him.â Prayer is such a privilege: âTo have Him to go to â to lay before Him all our wants, to express our fears, to plead His promises, and to expect that because He has promised He will fulfil â is worth more than all the world can give.â
Sitting at Jesusâ feet is not only for devotional times, but is a way of life. She writes that believers are to press forward in life, âlooking continually to Jesus, trusting not to our own strength, but waiting in humble dependence upon Him for all our sufficiency to carry us on, and to enable us to hold out unto the end ... Oh that we may be found like his beloved handmaiden of old, sitting at His feet!â She counsels, âYou need not wait until you can retire (for the night) and fall upon your knees; you can do it in a moment. The heart lifted up in silent prayer is sufficient.â Isnât this the echo of Scriptureâs call to âpray without ceasingâ?
Conversation
God is also pleased to bless spiritual conversation. Often she would warn: âBeware of trifling conversation; it grieves the Spirit,â and âAvoid light, trifling professors of religion; their influence will be as poison to your souls.â More than once, after an evening filled with wearying levity and trifling conversation, she would be humbled before God.
Conversation on religious topics is not enough. âWhen Christians meet together, do they not too much talk about religion, preachers, and sermons? I cannot but think, that if they communed less about religion, and more of Jesus, it would give a higher tone of spirituality to their conversation, and prove more refreshing to the soul. He would then oftener draw near, and make Himself one in their midst, and talk with them by the way.â Speaking of the triune God, the Saviour, His Word, promises, discipline, and leadings may stir up desire, trust and love in those who speak and listen. What fills our conversations? That which fills the heart spills out of the mouth. Conversely, a word about Christ may be such a blessing for an empty heart. The Lord exhorts, âWherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye doâ (1 Thess. 5:11).
Grace
Her practical counsels about the means of grace is not a newly invented, five-step plan to godliness. They are as old as Scripture itself. That gives them value. The main means of thriving which God is pleased to bless are the continual seeking of Him and the ongoing and prayerful hearing of His Word.
The encouragement is that Christ Himself uses these means to bring us to His feet by His Spirit. Her letters always traced sitting at Jesusâ feet to Godâs grace. That is why she wrote to an unconverted friend: âMay God open your eyes to see your need of a Savior, and lead you to the feet of Jesus, the sinnerâs Friend.â To a fellow-believer, she wrote: âOh that we might both be led to sit more constantly at the feet of Jesus, looking up, like little children, into His face to catch His smile and watch His eye â to see what He would have us to do, seeking nowhere else for comfort and guidance but in Him!â
Knowing God lives to draw sinners to Christâs feet gives hope. Knowing He uses His means of grace to do so encourages to be diligent in their use. Knowing He delights to bless those who use His means of grace enables us to plead with Him to bless them in spite of all the sin that stains our use of them.
Such a life of dependence is truly blessed. Listen to her words:
What a poor wretched exchange professors make when they barter the blessings of a close walk with God for the beggarly enjoyments of an empty, disappointing world! Ten minutes at the feet of Jesus, in a full view of His love, while confessing sins and shortcomings â sins we know already pardoned â yet sorrowing that we should ever grieve One who so tenderly loves us, is a happiness I would not exchange for millions of worlds.
Am I Really a Christian
Am I really a Christian? Perhaps for you, that question looms like a shadow in the back of the soul, threatening your dearest hopes and peace. Others may struggle to understand why. You bear all the outward marks of a Christian: You read, pray, and gather with your church faithfully. You serve and sacrifice your time. You look for opportunities to share Christ with neighbors. You hide no secret sins. But âthe heart knows its own bitternessâ (Proverbs 14:10), and so too its own darkness. No matter how much you obey on the outside, when you look within you find a mass of conflicting desires and warring ambitions. Every godly impulse seems mixed with an ungodly one; every holy desire with something shameful. You canât pray earnestly without feeling proud of yourself afterward. You canât serve without some part of you wanting to be praised. You remember Judas and Demas, men whose outward appearance deceived others and deceived themselves. You know that on the last day many will find themselves surprised, knocking on the door of heaven only to hear four haunting words: âI never knew youâ (Matthew 7:23; 25:11â12). And so, in the stillness before sleep, in quiet moments of the day, and sometimes in the middle of worship itself, the shadow returns: Am I real â or am I just deceiving myself? âWith You There Is Forgivenessâ Sometimes, the most apt answers to our most pressing questions are buried hundreds of years ago. And when it comes to assurance in particular, we may never surpass the pastoral wisdom of those seventeenth-century soul physicians, the Puritans. Assurance proved to be a common struggle for the Christians of that era, such that John Owen devoted over three hundred pages to the topic in his masterful Exposition of Psalm 130, most of which addresses a single verse: âWith you there is forgiveness, that you may be fearedâ (Psalm 130:4). âWhen it comes to assurance, what matters most is not sinâs persistence, but our resistance.â With God there is forgiveness â free forgiveness, abundant forgiveness, glad forgiveness, based on the blood and righteousness of Jesus Christ. But Owen knew that some Christians would hesitate to believe that forgiveness was for them. He knew that some introspective believers, bruised with a sense of their indwelling sin, would respond, âYes, there is forgiveness with God, but I see so much darkness within myself â is there forgiveness for me?â In a way, Owenâs entire book is his answer to that question. But he devotes special attention to such believers in one brief section â not aiming, necessarily, to remove every doubt (something only God can do), but merely to help readers see themselves from a new, more gracious angle. Grief can be a good sign. When some Christians search their hearts, they have eyes only for their sin. Their highest worship seems tainted with self-focus; their best obedience seems spoiled by strains of insincerity. They are ready to sigh with David, âMy iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails meâ (Psalm 40:12). But such grief can be a good sign. Owen asks us to imagine a man with a numb leg. As long as his leg has lost sensation, the man âendures deep cuts and lancings, and feels them not.â Yet as soon as his nerves awake, he âfeels the least cut, and may think the instruments sharper than they were before, when all the difference is, that he hath got a quickness of senseâ (Works of John Owen, 6:604). Outside of Christ, our souls are numb to the evil of sin. The guilt and the consequences of sin may have wounded us from time to time, but its evil we could hardly feel (if at all) â no matter how often it thrust us through. But once our souls come alive, we need only a paper cut to wince. Sin burdens us, oppresses us, grieves us, not because we are worse than we were before, but because we finally feel sin for what it is: the thorns that crowned our Saviorâs head, the spear that pierced our Lord. So, Owen writes, ââOh wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?â [Romans 7:24] is a better evidence of grace and holiness than âGod, I thank thee I am not as other menâ [Luke 18:11]â (601). Grief over our sin, far from disqualifying us from the kingdom, suggests that comfort is on the way (Matthew 5:4). Your resistance, not sinâs persistence, matters most. Temptation is frustratingly persistent. Sin would grieve us less if it left us alone more often: if pride were not ready to rise on all occasions, if anger did not flame up from the smallest sparks, if foolish thoughts did not fill our minds so often. Can we have any confidence of assurance if we find sin so relentlessly tempting? Owen takes us to 1 Peter 2:11, where the apostle writes, âAbstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.â He comments, âNow, to war is not to make faint or gentle opposition, . . . but it is to go out with great strength, to use craft, subtlety, and force, so as to put the whole issue to a hazard. So these lusts warâ (605). âGodâs âwell doneâ says less about the worth of our works than about the wonder of his mercy.â Sin wars â and not against those whom it holds captive, but against those who have been rescued from its authority and now fight below Christâs banner. When it comes to assurance, then, what matters most is not sinâs persistence, but our resistance. Or as Owen puts it, âYour state is not at all to be measured by the opposition that sin makes to you, but by the opposition you make to itâ (605). Sin may burden and tempt you, oppose and oppress you. Every army does. But do you, for your part, resist? Do you run up the watchtower and raise an alarm? Do you grip your shield and swing your sword? Do you labor, strive, watch, pray, and keep close to your Captain? Then sinâs warfare against you may be a sign that you are in Christâs service. Christ purifies our obedience. The most sensitive Christians, Owen writes, often âfind their hearts weak, and all their duties worthless. . . . In the best of them there is such a mixture of self, hypocrisy, unbelief, vain-glory, that they are even ashamed and confounded with the remembrance of themâ (600). Whatever fruit they bear seems covered with the mold of indwelling sin. But often, God sees more grace in his sin-burdened people than they see in themselves. Remember Sarah, Owen says: even when she was walking in unbelief, God took notice of the fact â a trifle in our eyes â that she called her husband âlordâ (Genesis 18:12; 1 Peter 3:6). So too, on the last day, Jesus will commend his people for good works they have long forgotten and struggle even to recognize (Matthew 25:37â40). Of course, Godâs âwell doneâ says less about the worth of our works than about the wonder of his mercy. Our Father hangs our pictures upon his wall because Christ adorns them with the jewels of his own crown. Owen writes, Jesus Christ takes whatever is evil and unsavoury out of them, and makes them acceptable. . . . All the ingredients of self that are in them on any account he takes away, and adds incense to what remains, and presents it to God. . . . So that God accepts a little, and Christ makes our little a great deal. (603) The only works that God accepts are those that have been washed in the blood of Jesus (Revelation 7:14). And any work that is washed in the blood of Jesus becomes transfigured, a small but resplendent reflection of âChrist in you, the hope of gloryâ (Colossians 1:27). And therefore God, in unspeakable grace, âremembers the duties which we forget, and forgets the sins which we rememberâ (603). Assurance arises from faith. Owenâs final piece of counsel may feel counterintuitive to the unassured heart. Many who struggle with assurance hesitate to rest their full weight on Christâs saving promises until they feel some warrant from within that the promises belong to them. They wait to come boldly to the throne of grace until they find something to bring with them. But this gets the order exactly backward. Owen writes, âDo not resolve not to eat thy meat until thou art strong, when thou hast no means of being strong but by eatingâ (603). When we wait to focus our gaze on Christâs promises until we are holy enough, we are like a man waiting to eat until he becomes strong, or waiting to sleep until he feels energized, or waiting to study until he grows wise. Sinclair Ferguson, a modern-day pupil of Owen, puts it this way: Believing [gives] rise to obedience, not obedience . . . to assurance irrespective of believing. Such faith cannot be forced into us by our efforts to be obedient; it arises only from larger and clearer views of Christ. (The Whole Christ, 204) The faith that nourishes both obedience and assurance arises only from larger and clearer views of Christ. If we stay away from Jesus until we are holy enough, we will stay away forever. But if we come to him right now and every morning hereafter, no matter how dead we feel, looking for welcome on the basis of his blood rather than our efforts, then we can hope, in time, to find faith flowering in fuller obedience and deeper assurance. But we will come only if we know, with Owen, that âwith you there is forgiveness, that you may be fearedâ (Psalm 130:4). All who come to Christ, trust in Christ, and embrace Christ find the forgiveness that is with Christ. And you are no exception. Article by Scott Hubbard