It's Not How You Look, It's What You See Order Printed Copy
- Author: Lisa Bevere
- Size: 1.08MB | 129 pages
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About the Book
"It's Not How You Look, It's What You See" by Lisa Bevere is a compelling book that challenges readers to look beyond outward appearances and to see themselves and others through the lens of God's truth and love. Bevere offers powerful insights and practical guidance for cultivating a healthy self-image and developing deeper, more meaningful relationships with others. Overall, the book inspires readers to embrace their true identity and purpose, leading to greater fulfillment and spiritual growth.
Hannah More
Beyond any doubt, Hannah More was the most influential female member of the Society for Effecting the Abolition of the African Slave Trade. She was educated at Bristol, an important slave-trading town, and began to publish her writing in the 1760s, while she was still a teenager. Her first play, The Inflexible Captive, was staged at Bath in 1775. Later in the 1770s, and for much of the 1780s, she spent time in London and made the acquaintance of many important political and society figures, including Samuel Johnson, Edmund Burke, and Elizabeth Montagu. Her play Percy was produced by David Garrick in 1777, and Fatal Falsehood was staged in 1779, but she came to regard the theatre as morally wrong, especially after the death of her mentors; Garrick and Johnson. She turned to religious writing, beginning with her Sacred Dramas in 1782. In 1784-5, she 'discovered' Ann Yearsley, the so-called 'poetical milkmaid of Bristol', whose poems More helped to publish, although the two later fell out.
In the 1780s, More widened her circle to include religious and philanthropic figures, including John Newton, Beilby Porteus and William Wilberforce. In the summer of 1786, she spent time with Sir Charles and Lady Margaret Middleton at the their home in Teston in Kent. Among their guests were the local vicar James Ramsay and a young Thomas Clarkson, both of whom were central to the early abolition campaign. More and Clarkson met again in Bristol in 1787, while he was on his fact-finding mission to the city, but they did not become close. However, in the same year More met Wilberforce, and their friendship was to become a deep and lasting one. More contributed much to the running of the newly-founded Abolition Society including, in February 1788, her publication of Slavery, a Poem which has been recognised as one of the more important slavery poems of the abolition period. Her relationship with members of the society, especially Wilberforce, was close. For example, she spent the summer of 1789 holidaying with Wilberforce in the Peak District - planning for the abolition campaign, at that time at its height, formed a great deal of their conversation.
By the mid-1790s, More had become closely involved with the 'Clapham Sect' of evangelical Christians, many of whom were involved in the abolition campaign. The group centred on Henry Thornton's home in Clapham and included Wilberforce, James Stephen, and Zachary Macaulay, among others. Throughout the 1790s, she wrote a number of religious tracts, known as the Cheap Repository Tracts, that eventually led to the formation of the Religious Tracts Society. Several of the Tracts oppose slavery and the slave trade, in particular, the poem The Sorrows of Yamba; or, The Negro Woman's Lamentation, which appeared in November 1795 and which was co-authored with Eaglesfield Smith. However, the tracts have also been noted for their encouragement of social quietism in an age of revolution. She continued to oppose slavery throughout her life, but at the time of the Abolition Bill of 1807, her health did not permit her to take as active a role in the movement as she had done in the late 1780s, although she maintained a correspondence with Wilberforce and others. In her later life, she dedicated much time to religious writing. Nevertheless, her most popular work was a novel, Coelebs in Search of a Wife, which appeared in two volumes in 1809 (and which ran to nine editions in 1809 alone). In the 1820s she grew gradually less well, and decreased - but did not entirely halt - the amount of writing she produced. On her death in 1833, she left more than ĆĀ£30,000 to charities and religious societies (equivalent to about ĆĀ£2,000,000 or $3,000,000 in 2004).
Ā© Brycchan Carey 2004
five ways to build stronger relationships
āThat used to be nice.ā That was the first response when I recently asked a group of men what comes to mind when they think about friendship. Once they entered their upper twenties and thirties, many of them no longer had close friendships. We mostly laughed when joking about Jesusās āmiracleā of having twelve close friends in his thirties. Many factors combine to make friendship difficult for men. Personally, time for friends seems unrealistic in light of work or family responsibilities. Culturally, we donāt have a shared understanding of what friendships among men should look like. We also find ourselves connecting more digitally than deeply. Weāve lost a vision for strong, warm, face-to-face and side-by-side male friendship. But God made us for more. He made us in his own image, the image of a triune God who exists in communal love. Therefore, friendship is not a luxury; itās a relational necessity. We glorify God by enjoying him and reflecting his relational love with one another. If you are a man who has struggled to go deeper with other men, here are five concrete steps to cultivate deeper friendships. 1. Establish rhythms for your relationships. Without rhythms in our lives, the important priorities donāt get done. If we value communing with God through his word and prayer, we form a habit. If we want to exercise consistently, we create a pattern. Hereās a proposal for cultivating friendship: Build it into your schedule. Establish a regular rhythm for coffee together. Devote a meal each week ā say, Monday breakfasts or Wednesday dinners ā to share with others. Plan to meet up to take walks together. Reserve an extended weekend each year to get away and enjoy Godās creation together. 2. Drop each conversation one notch deeper. Conversations about sports and daily activities are worthwhile. But if thatās all we talk about, itās like snorkeling on the surface while missing the deeper wonders of the ocean. But how do we take our conversations deeper? First, ask thoughtful questions. When youāre driving to meet your friend, think about what you want to learn about him. Think about the main aspects of his life right now ā his relationship with the Lord, his family, his work ā and ask him about how things are going. When he shares about a challenge, ask how his internal life (his heart, his disposition toward God) is doing in the midst of this. From there, stay curious and ask more questions. Second, talk about what youāre each reading. Ask how Godās word has convicted or encouraged him recently. Ask what book heās recently read that helped him know God or live more faithfully as a disciple. Consider reading through Scripture or a Scripture-saturated book together and meeting to talk about it. 3. Overcome our cultural aversion to expressing affection. āLove one another with brotherly affectionā (Romans 12:10). We donāt usually put those last two words next to one another āĀ brotherly Ā feels masculine;Ā affection Ā feels feminine. But there they are together, inviting us to cultivate genuine, non-weird, affectionate brotherhood. We see this affectionate bond with Jonathan and David: āThe soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soulā (1 Samuel 18:1). We see it with Paul and the Ephesian elders: āAnd there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed himā (Acts 20:37). Expressing affection feels uncomfortable to men today because our culture has slowly shifted its understanding of masculinity. Rather than combining strength and tenderness, we view manhood as muscular and aggressive. Our culture has also sexualized love, interpreting affection between men as something other than friendship. But we can build a better way. 4. Oxygenate your friendships with affirmation. What happens without oxygen? We become sluggish and lethargic. This is what relationships feel like without affirmation. This may be why some of your relationships feel withered, thin, or tired. Affirmation is relational oxygen. One of the most powerful tools for cultivating true friendship isĀ Romans 12:10: āOutdo one another in showing honor.ā Men find it hard to give and receive honor and affirmation. It feels uncomfortable at first to tell someone why you thank God for him or why you respect him. But only at first. Iāve seen many men work through their initial hesitations and start cultivating a culture of sincere encouragement around them. And Iāve seen the other men flourish because of it. 5. Invite friends into what youāre already doing. Our schedules are full and we rush from one thing to the next. We donāt see how we can find time for friends. But what if you donāt need to open up your schedule? What if you can include friends into the activities you already do? Here are a few suggestions Iāve seen work: When you plan to watch a sports game or weekly show, find out who else would want to watch it and invite them to join you. If you exercise a few times each week, do it with a friend. Invite friends or family members to join you for dinner or dessert. If you have young kids, let your guests participate in the bedtime routine and then stay around afterward. If you have young kids, invite someone to join your family at the park. Put a few friends on speed dial and call them on your daily commute home. If you have a home project to complete, invite someone to help you and offer to help him with his. Hope and Help for Forging Friendship Jesus is our greatest model of male friendship. He initiated relationships and he invited men to be with him (Mark 3:14). He continually asked thought-provoking questions. He loved his disciples with brotherly affection (John 13:1). He calls us his friends (John 15:13ā15). He also gives us the great privilege of reflecting and enjoying this kind of true friendship to other men. Maybe as you consider taking these steps, you look ahead with both hope and hesitancy. Maybe you think back to when you experienced deeper community and think you wonāt find that again. Or maybe you still feel pain from failed attempts at connecting with others. You wonder if forging friendship is harder, even impossible, for you. Before you give up, remember two truths: First, Jesus isnāt just the model for true friendship; he is himself our truest friend. He initiates friendship with us, and we receive it on terms of grace. Now āno one need ever say I have no āfriendā to turn to, so long as Christ is in heavenā (J.C. Ryle,Ā Expository Thoughts , 3:114). And second, he delights for us to ask for true community in his name. God alone is able to create, renew, and strengthen the deepest human relationships. So, pray. Ask God to make your efforts at friendship fruitful. Then trust him, stay patient, and keep taking steps toward others in the strength he provides.
