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About the Book
"How to Really Love Your Child" by D. Ross is a comprehensive guide that offers practical advice and strategies for parents to develop loving and nurturing relationships with their children. The book emphasizes the importance of building strong bonds with children through communication, active listening, and positive reinforcement. It also discusses the impact of discipline, setting boundaries, and providing emotional support on a child's development and well-being. Overall, the book provides valuable insights and techniques for parents to create a loving and supportive environment that fosters healthy growth and thriving relationships with their children.
William Wilberforce
William Wilberforce was born in 1759 in Hull, East Yorkshire. He graduated from Cambridge University with the intention of following a political career, and became Member of Parliament (MP) for Hull in 1780, aged 21. Four years later he became MP for the whole of Yorkshire. It was at this time that he began to work for the abolition of the British trade in enslaved people.
Wilberforce was a deeply spiritual man and later became an Evangelical Christian. He was a popular figure and was known to be charming and witty and a great public speaker. He campaigned for a number of causes: for legislation to improve the lives of the poor, education reform, prison reforms and ending child labour. He was also one of the founders of the Royal Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA).
A Committed Abolitionist
With the backing of his friend William Pitt, who became Prime Minister, Wilberforce became leader of The Society for the Abolition of Slavery. The society campaigned for almost 20 years to bring an end to British involvement in the Transatlantic Slave Trade. The abolition campaign made them many enemies, especially among those who had made huge profits from the trade in enlsaved African people.
Wilberforce left Hull in 1792 and moved to Clapham, London to be closer to his work in Westminster. Within the local community he found friends who shared his interests in religion and politics. They became known as the Clapham Sect and they actively supported the anti-slavery abolitionists.
William Wilberforce, oil painting by Karl Anton Hickel, 1793 . Willima has a white scarf tied at his neck and wearing a dark blue coat with a folded collar.
William Wilberforce by Karl Anton Hickel, 1793
Wilberforce married Barbara Spooner in 1797 and they had six children. Historical acounts show that he was a loving and devoted husband and father, and was proud that three of his sons became clergyman.
The Slavery Abolition Bill
Wilberforce attempted several times to bring private members' bills before Parliament to end Britainâs involvement in the slave trade, but the Bill was defeated many times. It was finally passed on 25 March, 1807. However, this only went as far as banning British people from engaging in the slave trade, it did not ban slavery itself. Wilberforce retired from politics in 1825 due to ill health, but he continued to campaign for the abolition of slavery.
Finally, on 26 July 1833, as Wilberforce lay on his deathbed, he was told that the Slavery Abolition Bill, granting freedom to all enslaved people within the British Empire, had been passed by Parliament. He died three days later. As a mark of respect for his achievements, his body was buried in Westminster Abbey.
Childhood and Education
William Wilberforce was born on 24 August, 1759, at 25 High Street, Hull (which is now known as Wilberforce House) to Robert and Elizabeth Wilberforce. He had three sisters, Elizabeth, Ann and Sarah (known as Sally). Of the four children, only William and Sally survived to adulthood.
The Wilberforce family were successful merchants, who traded in imported goods, like wood and cloth, from northern Europe and the Baltic states. The family home reflected the family's wealth and was decorated with fashionable architecture of the day.
William was a small, sickly child with poor eyesight, but this did not stop him from attending Hull Grammar School or taking part in musical activities or sports. William was known to have a beautiful singing voice and had a reputation for telling funny stories and playing practical jokes.
When William was only eight years old, his father died. William's mother then became ill and so she sent him to live with his aunt and uncle, Hannah and William Wilberforce, in London. They sent him to study at a small boarding school in Putney, which he disliked, complaining about the food. Hannah and William were Evangelical Methodists and they took William to church regularly, where he enjoyed listening to bible stories and sermons by prominent figures within the Methodist movement.
William's mother worried about his exposure to such a strong religious influence and arranged for him to come home to Hull. William was sent to board at Pocklington Grammar School, where he studied hard and did well at Latin, English and History. Aged 17 he went to Cambridge University, where he met William Pitt the Younger, who became a lifelong friend. Wilberforce took full advantage of the social life on offer at university, and was well known for attending dinners, gambling, and playing cards. Despite his busy social life, Wilberforce managed to graduate from Cambridge in 1781, determined to have a career as a Member of Parliament.
Religious Beliefs and Influences
William Wilberforce became a deeply religious man who dedicated his life and his work to acting on his beliefs. He had many religious and political influences during his lifetime.
His mother was staunchly Church of England. However, after the death of his father, William spent two years living with his aunt and uncle in London, who were keen Methodists.
They took the young William to church regularly, where he heard important figures like George Whitefield preach. At that time, Methodism was known as a branch within the Church of England that was particularly concerned with social welfare. However, his mother became alarmed at his growing interest in evangelical Christianity, and she brought the young William home again.
Wilberforce's second major religious influence was Isaac Milner, who was a young teacher when Wilberforce attended Hull Grammar School. They were to become lifelong friends and in 1784 they travelled together through Europe.
During the months they spent together, Milner introduced William to his own religious beliefs and encouraged him to read an essay entitled 'The Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul'. The whole experience had a profound affect on William and he returned home to England a changed man and devout Methodist.
Another influence on William was John Newton, his Aunt Hannahâs half-brother who had previously been involved in the slave trade. Newton was one of the wealthiest men in Europe and a great humanitarian and philanthropist, and gave many gifts to the Evangelical church. Following William's tour of Europe with Milner, he met up with John Newton to discuss his new-found faith.
William wrote in secret to Newton:
Sir, there is no need of apology for intruding on you, when the errand is religion. I wish to have some serious conversation with you⌠the earlier the more agreeable to me. I have ten thousand doubts within myself, whether or not I should discover myself to you; but every argument against doing it has its foundation in pride. I am sure you will hold yourself bound to let no one living know of this application, or of my visit, till I release you for the obligationâŚ
P.S. Remember that I must be secret, and that the gallery of the House is now so universally attended, that the face of a member of Parliament is pretty well known.
William stuck with his conversion to Methodism and wrote a best-selling book A Practical View of Christianity thirteen years later.
Early Political Life and Influences
After graduating from Cambridge University, William Wilberforce chose to follow a career in politics and stood as Independent candidate, in an election for Hull's Member of Parliament. He won by an overwhelming majority and was elected to represent the citizens of Hull, at the age of just 21.
The young Wilberforce was a natural politician. Following the deaths of his father and his uncle he had inherited enough money to financially support his political career. He was also well liked among Hull's merchant families, who hoped that he would represent their business interests in parliament.
Two of Wilberforce's most appealing qualities were his engaging personality and his eloquent speaking voice - useful traits for a politician. He was so famous for his public speaking that he was nicknamed the 'Nightingale of the Commons'.
On taking up his seat in the House of Commons, Wilberforce met up with his university friend, William Pitt the Younger, who had also chosen a political career. Pitt and Wilberforce spent much time studying the more experienced Members of Parliament from the Commons gallery, and listening to heated political debates of the day.
Pitt enjoyed a very sucessful political career, becoming Prime Minister and the new Tory party leader in 1783, aged just 24. Although not quite as ambitious as Pitt, Wilberforce took the decision to stand as candidate for Member of Parliament for Yorkshire. This was one of only two county seats and on winning it, Wilberforce became a more influential politician.
Following his conversion to Methodism in 1785, Wilberforce considered leaving politics. Yet, Pitt and John Newton convinced him to persevere and use his political work as a way of serving God. Wilberforce saw the campaign to abolish the Transatlantic Slave Trade as a way of following his religious and humanitarian beliefs, as well as his moral conscience.
can i follow my new heart
âWhy shouldnât I follow my heart? If I am a Christian â if God has caused me to be âborn againâ and has given me âa new heartâ â isnât my new heart trustworthy?â Readers have raised some version of this objection when Iâve exhorted Christians, âDonât follow your heart.â And the objection is warranted. After all, the Bible clearly teaches that in this era of the new covenant, God writes his law on our new hearts so that we willingly follow him (Jeremiah 31:31â34; Hebrews 8:8â12). This would seem to not merely imply, but even mandate, that Christians should follow their hearts. But the Bibleâs description of what a regenerated person actually experiences in this age reveals a more spiritually and psychologically complex picture â one that I believe gives Christians biblical warrant to cultivate a healthy suspicion of what they recognize as their heartsâ desires. So, while we may, and hopefully will, reach a point in our lives as Christians where itâs right, at times, to follow our hearts, allow me to make a brief case that the phrase actually undermines Christians as they labor and struggle to discern their various desires, and that Scripture itself discourages us from thinking this way. War Within How might we summarize the complex picture the Bible paints of the born-again experience in this already-not-yet age? The New Testament explains that when the Spirit brings us from spiritual death to spiritual life (John 5:24; Romans 6:13), we enter a strange new reality. Our regenerated new self  emerges, âcreated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.â And yet our â old self , which belongs to [our] former manner of life,â is still âcorrupt through deceitful desiresâ (Ephesians 4:22â24). We are âborn of the Spiritâ (John 3:6) while still inhabiting the âflesh,â our âbody of deathâ in which ânothing good dwellsâ (Romans 7:18, 24). âThe hearts of regenerated people are not yet fully free from the influence of their flesh.â When Christians are born again, we enter into a lifelong internal war where âthe desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to doâ (Galatians 5:17). Stepping back and viewing these desires objectively, âthe works of the fleshâ that result from fleshly desires âare evident,â and so is âthe fruit of the Spiritâ (Galatians 5:19â23). But Christians often struggle â on the ground, in real time â to discern the desires of the Spirit from the desires of the flesh. This is why the New Testament Epistles are full of exhortations and corrections addressed to Christians. James tells his readers (and us at relevant times) that their âpassions are at war withinâ them (James 4:1). Peter warns his readers (and us), âDo not be conformed to the passions of your former ignoranceâ (1 Peter 1:14). Paul describes this internal experience of warring passions as âwretchedâ (Romans 7:24). And he admonishes the Colossian Christians (and us) with strong language: âPut to death therefore what is earthly in you : sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatryâ (Colossians 3:5). Why did these apostles feel the need to speak this way to regenerated people? Because the hearts of these regenerated people were not yet fully free from the influence of their flesh, their old selves. Follow the Spirit Much of the Christian life is a war to die to remaining sin and live by the Spirit. John Piper calls it âthe main battle of the Christian lifeâ: The main battle is to see our hearts renovated, recalibrated, so that we donât want to do those sinful external behaviors, and donât just need willpower not to do them, but the root has been severed and we have different desires. In other words, the goal of change â of sanctification, of the Christian life â is to be so changed that we can and ought to follow our desires. Thatâs exactly right. And when we have been so changed through progressive sanctification, so renovated that our hearts (and therefore our desires, dispositions, motives, emotions, and passions) are, as Piper says, âcalibrated to Christ,â then we should  follow our hearts. However, at any given time within our churches, small groups, friendships, and families, different Christians are at different places for different reasons in this heart-renovation process. Some hearts are more sanctified, and therefore more reliable to follow, than others. I think thatâs why we donât hear the apostles generally counsel us to follow our hearts in our fight of faith against remaining sin, but rather to follow the Holy Spirit . Let Not Sin Reign Paul is the one who delves most deeply into this issue: âI say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the fleshâ (Galatians 5:16). He devotes most of Romans 6â8 to explaining the nature of the strange new-self/old-self, Spirit/flesh reality of the Christian life, including Romans 8:13: âIf you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.â Paul lays the theological foundation of our understanding by explaining âthat our old self was crucified with [Christ] in order that [our] body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sinâ (Romans 6:6). Our new selves were âraised with Christâ (Colossians 3:1) so that âwe too might walk in newness of lifeâ (Romans 6:4). Therefore, we âmust consider [ourselves] dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesusâ (Romans 6:11). In light of this, Paul admonishes us, Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. (Romans 6:12â14) And how do we do this? By learning to âset [our] minds on the things of the Spiritâ and not on âthe things of the fleshâ (Romans 8:5) â by learning to follow the Spirit, to âwalk by the Spiritâ (Galatians 5:16), because âall who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of Godâ (Romans 8:14). Follow the Treasure One of the reasons I find âfollow your heartâ generally unhelpful as counsel for Christians is that many of us, from the time we were young, have absorbed this as a pop-cultural creed that says if we just look deep into our hearts, weâll be shown our deepest truth, and discover the way we should go. Given the significant amount our sinful flesh still influences our hearts, itâs not hard to see how this phrase can easily increase confusion when applying it to the Christian life. âSome hearts are more sanctified, and therefore more reliable to follow, than others.â I also donât believe the Bible encourages that idea since, when it comes to engaging our hearts, far and away what we hear in it is counsel to âdirect our hearts,â not to follow them. We see that clearly in Paulâs instructions above. God made our hearts to follow, not to lead. And what do our hearts follow? Jesus gives the clearest answer: âWhere your treasure is, there your heart will be alsoâ (Matthew 6:21). In time, our heart always pursues (follows) our treasure. When we are born again, the eyes of our hearts are enlightened (Ephesians 1:18) and, through faith, we begin to see the Treasure: God himself in Christ. And since our heart learns to pursue the object  that stirs its greatest affections, its treasure , I suggest we not counsel each other to âfollow your heart,â but instead to âfollow the Treasure.â Looking into our hearts for direction can be spiritually hazardous. It is usually more helpful for us to direct our hearts to what is most valuable and delightful. Which is why I believe David counsels us, âDelight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heartâ (Psalm 37:4).