Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Order Printed Copy

Author: Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves
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About the Book

"Emotional Intelligence 2.0" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves is a self-help book that aims to help readers understand and improve their emotional intelligence. The book provides practical advice and strategies for developing skills such as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Through a combination of self-assessment tools and actionable tips, the authors guide readers on how to enhance their emotional intelligence for personal and professional success.

Francis Schaeffer

Francis Schaeffer was a pioneer in the field of apologetics and the development of a Christian response to the anti-supernaturalism which dominated western thought in the 20th century. He worked out a biblical and evangelical philosophy which proved to be a challenging alternative to emptiness and despair which characterised secular Europe at that time. Schaeffer also understood that the cultural shift was especially reflected in the arts and was able to help a number of us who were trying to develop a Christian approach to creativity in these influential areas of life. Here, Ray Evans, of Grace Community Church, Bedford, provides us with a brief overview of Schaeffer's contribution to Christian thought and action. Francis Schaeffer became one of the most influential Christian leaders of the twentieth century. He came from a humble working-class background in Philadelphia, studied under Gresham Machen at Westminster Seminary for a while, was the pastor of some small churches in the USA, and then spent most of his life in Europe, to which he had come at the end of World War 2 as a missionary. Never seeking 'fame' or 'a name', God used him to help his church at a time when she faced, and still faces, the massive challenges brought about wherever western culture and 'worldview' have spread. Married to Edith, and blessed with four children of their own, the Schaeffers settled in total obscurity in Switzerland. Initially they lived at Champéry, but the Roman Catholic officials of that canton requested they leave and they moved to what became their home for many years, the tiny village of Huémoz in the canton of Vaud. The thrilling story of how God opened the way for them to move there and start the distinctive ministry called 'L'Abri' (French for 'Shelter') is told in a book of that name. It is a 'must read' book! They were determined to demonstrate several things in the ministry of L'Abri. First there was to be a true outworking of trust and dependence on God in all circumstances - a demonstration that the unseen supernatural world really exists. So, for example, they committed themselves to prayer, asking that God would send the individuals to them that would find their ministry helpful, and that God would provide all necessary resources of money, housing personnel and so on. They saw, and the work continues to see, real and powerful answers because, as he would often say, 'God is there'. Francis' book 'True Spirituality' (again another superbly helpful book) was born out of the desire to show what really living a Christian life looks like when we 'moment by moment rely on the ministry of the Holy Spirit, who is given to us because of the finished work of Christ on the cross'. Then they wanted to demonstrate that Christianity has true and reasonable answers to the questions of the human heart. He, Edith and the growing family of children (which in time included sons-in-law such as the author Ranald Macaulay) found themselves inundated with young people that 'God sent'; people with dark confusion in their minds and deep hurts and problems in their souls. Too often Schaeffer was written off because others caricatured him as 'an intellectual' and not 'earthed' in real life. Perhaps this was because some of his earliest books that were released to the general public ('The God Who is There', 'Escape from Reason', and 'He is There and He is not Silent') grappled with the 'big ideas' that hugely affect modern Western life. These ideas were not couched in conventional religious terms, or they were ideas that most pastors would avoid. Yet young people in large numbers found someone who could talk their language and could demonstrate that the Bible had answers that made sense, and which met our deepest spiritual needs. He wrote several books and preached many messages (these are still available through the L'Abri tape ministry), that are great examples of Biblical exposition. One of my favourites is 'Joshua and the Flow of Biblical History' which gives a flavour of what it must have been like to sit under his clear thinking mind and pastorally warm heart. The answers that he showed the Bible gives have stood several generations of evangelical Christians in good stead as they in turn seek to help modern people understand the gospel and feel its power. The Schaeffers also wanted to show that Christianity is not 'dehumanising' but makes us what we should be - 'whole' people in true 'community' with one another. This community life will never be perfect (he used to say "If it's perfection or nothing, it will always be nothing in this life"), but there can be real and substantial 'healing' - in our innermost being, in our relationships with one another, with the wider world, and with the environment. L'Abri and each local church/community of Christians should be like a 'pilot plant' which shows what life could be like when the primary relationship - that with our Maker - is restored on the basis of 'the finished work of Christ plus nothing'. Too often the church has ended up being nothing more than a conventional institution where religiosity, and not vibrant Christianity, is dominant. His was a clarion call to true reformation and genuine spirituality. Later in life, Schaeffer turned in his speaking and writing to some of the big moral challenges of our age. Years before others woke up to the problems, he could see where dominant secularism was taking whole cultures: to the devaluing of human life both at its beginning and at its end; to a proud and defiant declaration of 'autonomy' in our sexuality; to a creeping compromise in the church about God's authoritative and trustworthy revelation (what he called 'true truth' [true in all that it affirms about history and science and not just in the 'spiritual ideas']); and to a general malaise in the population as a whole where the majority would settle for 'personal peace and affluence'. He predicted that most would put up with any amount of moral change and evil as long as it was 'Not In My Back Yard' and as long as there was ongoing material prosperity to keep filling the dull ache of the soul. The 'Christian base' which for so long had informed Western thinking and public life would become only a folk memory as secularism gradually became dominant. The ruling elites, who are in place in all areas of the culture - politics and the bureaucracy of the modern state, the judiciary, the universities, the arts and media - have their thinking and action informed by a 'worldview' where the God of the Bible and our Lord and Saviour are relegated to 'personal prejudice only'. He is not allowed to influence anything significant according to this outlook. Indeed that 'tolerance of a belief in God' can soon become an antipathy to any mention of his claims on us, and that can get enshrined in public law and attitudes. All this sounds familiar now doesn't it, but it was almost unthinkable when he spoke about it in the 60s and 70s. Tragically we are now living with many of the consequences he so powerfully preached and wrote about. Though some of his writings now feel a bit dated (he used lots of contemporary illustrations to show his main points were anchored in 'real life'), many of them are still enormously helpful. They are biblical, sane, wise and insightful. They are passionate, heartfelt and godly. They are full of lament at sin, and sorrow at 'lostness'; they are deeply imbued with love for God and Christ, and tender towards needy people. They are still a timely and necessary cry we should listen to. Too many others who have written on similar 'cultural analysis themes' lack Schaeffer's all round spiritual credibility. In a short life where one cannot hope to 'read everything' that Francis and Edith have written would repay the one who takes the trouble to delve into them handsomely. God greatly blessed this 'man and wife team', and they have put many of us in their debt as they shared those blessings in a life of gracious Christian self-giving. May you go on to prove that in your experience too as you learn from these faithful servants of their risen Lord. From Grace Maggazine,

Romance After Kids

“Romance is the privilege of the rich, not the profession of the unemployed,” wrote Oscar Wilde. “The poor should be practical and prosaic.” I can partially relate to this sentiment. While I am not, in any estimation, to be numbered among the financially poor, I may be considered more impoverished in the currencies of independence and time. I am a father of five. My wife is currently recovering from COVID-19, and we are rounding out our second extended quarantine of the last two months. And in the last few days, two of our children’s stomachs have decided to expel their contents. Our world orbits around need; and needs call for a more practical and prosaic season of life that all but excludes the possibility of romance, right? Quality time — undistracted and full of energy — seems like the privilege of the bourgeois. But is it? Should we pause romance in this season? Should we simply acknowledge that we are shoulder-to-shoulder, not face-to-face, as we battle for the kindness and cleanliness of our kids? Why Romance Is Worth Pursuing I don’t believe we should pause romance in the demanding and chaotic world of parenting. Consider at least three reasons why. First, delight in beauty is the sustaining substance of life. The battlefield of child-rearing is not for the faint of heart. Without consistent moments to be refueled together by the beauty of God in his creation (I’m thinking Psalm 19-style sunrises and sunsets, rich flavors, unforgettable melodies, and especially the divine image in each other), we will succumb to fatigue and forget why we’re raising the children to begin with. Second, children need their parents’ affection for each other. God created parenting to be a completion of joy, an overflow of it. It is a Trinitarian image, whereby the mutual delight of the parents spills itself into creation. To quote thirteenth-century theologian Meister Eckhart (speaking in human terms and however imprecisely), “God laughed and begot the Son. Together they laughed and begot the Holy Spirit. And from the laughter of the Three, the universe was born.” The nourishing and cherishing of Ephesians 5 doesn’t simply transfer to your children. “No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:29) — I am convicted as I type. Spouses (with a special emphasis on husbands) are called to invest deeply into one another, with the nourishing and cherishing of one’s own body, implying more than mere functional living or co-laboring. “Cherish,” after all, is not a prosaic word. It is infused with deep delight, the kind of word husbands search for to express their affection in a poem or song. Practical Advice for Married Couples So, let’s get practical (but not prosaic). What might romance look like in the season of survival on the Serengeti that is parenting? What follows is a list that mingles my own successes, failures, sin, and idealism, ranging from the mundane to the magical. Okay, mostly mundane. Most of it lives miles from a gondola in Venice, but placed on the battle for the souls of your children, every intentional face-to-face moment really helps. Take what helps. 1. Wake up together. Most husbands need less sleep than their wives, but trying to coordinate either sleep or wake time can be good for your marriage. For us, it’s been wake time most recently. We get up most mornings before the kids are stirring. Yes, it’s dark. It feels like the middle of the night (because it is) and our eyes are bleary. But the world is quiet and we rehearse the mercies of God out loud to one another, and of course to him, as we paraphrase the Psalms. We directly thank him for the undeserved gift of one another — boom, romance. 2. Take a few minutes to connect. This must be intentional, and it usually can’t be during dinner. Dinner is a wonderful opportunity to shepherd your children, but in most larger families, it is likely too chaotic to be a face-to-face moment with a spouse. The moment I’m speaking of is right after the kids are in bed. The reason it must be intentional is that you are likely drifting into a trance of fatigue, and some form of unwinding seeks your attention. But so does your spouse’s soul. And to turn to one another, without the television on or the phone in hand, and simply say, “Tell me about your day,” is fresh wind for your marriage. I might even recommend a few fun questions to pull from a hat in order to engage one another with more intrigue and substance. 3. Play. After ten o’clock on most nights, my wife loses much of her filter to weariness and goes into full sass mode. She throws playful jabs my way and laughs until she cries, and I tend to amplify her delight with my over-the-top responses. It would probably look to the outsider like two middle school kids flirting, but it is an ironic display of marital safety and affection that is probably indispensable in this season. I would be hard-pressed to overstate the value of humor as a means of romantic connection. 4. Write to one another. Even if you say you’re not a “words of affirmation” person, you are more than you realize. Your spouse is too. And when the words are written rather than simply spoken, they affect us powerfully. I think it’s because those words reflect deeper thought, deeper consideration, and deeper investment of time than something more spontaneous. That’s why a text message stating affection is good, but a sonnet is better. Or even a limerick if you’re not into iambic pentameter. 5. Get out into creation. The heavens declare the romantic heart of God. The sun exclaims the joy and love of the Bridegroom (Psalm 19:1–5). A breeze whispers his gentleness, and the autumn leaves remind us of the beauty of Christ’s death. It doesn’t take the reservation of an Airbnb in Montana to engage the created world together. We sat on the back porch for a few minutes this week and marveled at the sudden bright yellows of the leaves behind the house. Consistent peeks outside or regular walks around the neighborhood, especially hand in hand, can bring peace to chaos. Speaking of hand in hand . . . 6. Show physical affection. Keep holding hands in public. Or start holding hands in public. Half-mindlessly rub her back while you’re sitting on the couch. Don’t let the heckling of your teenagers keep you from a spontaneous hug in the kitchen. There was a moment, likely when you were dating, when the brush of your now-spouse’s hand was electric. The same desire, albeit without the giddiness, still resides in you. Touch is connection, and connection between two desire-laden, God-imaging souls is at the heart of romance. 7. Recall the wonders of God in your family’s life. This is a clear command and practice in Scripture (see Psalm 136), and it is a poetic moment when practiced well. It ought to be a normative part of your prayer life, but we find it helpful to also formalize the practice. Each year on our anniversary, we pull out a journal and jog our memories about all the big events and sweet moments of the previous year. It is a connecting moment of sentiment, laughter, and gratitude. 8. Get away and dream. This is a privilege that not all parents have the resources to enact. It requires willing babysitters (often family because of the sizable commitment) and sometimes money. We went three years without a night away at one point. And again, it doesn’t have to be in some exotic bungalow in Fiji. But one of our fonder marital memories was a simple switching of houses with my parents for a night so that we could come out of the winds and talk uninterruptedly about what the Lord might have for our future. 9. Play music. I don’t mean that you need to turn your family into the Von Trapps. If anyone in your family can conjure a melody with voice or violin, all the better, but I am here referring to a simple song in the background. Whether it’s a hymn (Indelible Grace gets a lot of air time in our household), a soundtrack, or a beat to dance to, music awakens the soul. It allows easier access to emotion and meaning in the mundane moments. Use the gift of Spotify or a phonograph. 10. Speak the delights of God to your spouse. While this is an admittedly shoulder-to-shoulder activity (since your collective gaze is elsewhere), it is akin to watching a sunset or a play, only with deeper relational weight. After all, you are fostering the romance between your spouse and the true Bridegroom. To speak the wonders of God’s holiness, his fatherly delight, and the wonders of his love, is to kindle the soul. So don’t just memorize Scripture. Memorize it in order to tell her of the dimensions of the love of Christ, and so fill her with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19). Life, even the life of a child-chasing parent, is magical. And marriage, even the mostly shoulder-to-shoulder kind that is stretched to its limit by fatigue and chaos, is still a picture of Christ and the church. Ask your heavenly Bridegroom for eyes to see that afresh and the energy to enact a bit of intentional romance. Article by Matt Reagan