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About the Book
"IS GOD SAYING HE'S THE ONE" by Susan R. explores the concept of discerning God's will in relationships and finding the right partner. The book offers practical advice and guidance on how to listen to God's voice and understand His plan for your love life. Ultimately, it encourages readers to seek God's guidance in choosing a life partner.
Hannah More
Beyond any doubt, Hannah More was the most influential female member of the Society for Effecting the Abolition of the African Slave Trade. She was educated at Bristol, an important slave-trading town, and began to publish her writing in the 1760s, while she was still a teenager. Her first play, The Inflexible Captive, was staged at Bath in 1775. Later in the 1770s, and for much of the 1780s, she spent time in London and made the acquaintance of many important political and society figures, including Samuel Johnson, Edmund Burke, and Elizabeth Montagu. Her play Percy was produced by David Garrick in 1777, and Fatal Falsehood was staged in 1779, but she came to regard the theatre as morally wrong, especially after the death of her mentors; Garrick and Johnson. She turned to religious writing, beginning with her Sacred Dramas in 1782. In 1784-5, she 'discovered' Ann Yearsley, the so-called 'poetical milkmaid of Bristol', whose poems More helped to publish, although the two later fell out.
In the 1780s, More widened her circle to include religious and philanthropic figures, including John Newton, Beilby Porteus and William Wilberforce. In the summer of 1786, she spent time with Sir Charles and Lady Margaret Middleton at the their home in Teston in Kent. Among their guests were the local vicar James Ramsay and a young Thomas Clarkson, both of whom were central to the early abolition campaign. More and Clarkson met again in Bristol in 1787, while he was on his fact-finding mission to the city, but they did not become close. However, in the same year More met Wilberforce, and their friendship was to become a deep and lasting one. More contributed much to the running of the newly-founded Abolition Society including, in February 1788, her publication of Slavery, a Poem which has been recognised as one of the more important slavery poems of the abolition period. Her relationship with members of the society, especially Wilberforce, was close. For example, she spent the summer of 1789 holidaying with Wilberforce in the Peak District - planning for the abolition campaign, at that time at its height, formed a great deal of their conversation.
By the mid-1790s, More had become closely involved with the 'Clapham Sect' of evangelical Christians, many of whom were involved in the abolition campaign. The group centred on Henry Thornton's home in Clapham and included Wilberforce, James Stephen, and Zachary Macaulay, among others. Throughout the 1790s, she wrote a number of religious tracts, known as the Cheap Repository Tracts, that eventually led to the formation of the Religious Tracts Society. Several of the Tracts oppose slavery and the slave trade, in particular, the poem The Sorrows of Yamba; or, The Negro Woman's Lamentation, which appeared in November 1795 and which was co-authored with Eaglesfield Smith. However, the tracts have also been noted for their encouragement of social quietism in an age of revolution. She continued to oppose slavery throughout her life, but at the time of the Abolition Bill of 1807, her health did not permit her to take as active a role in the movement as she had done in the late 1780s, although she maintained a correspondence with Wilberforce and others. In her later life, she dedicated much time to religious writing. Nevertheless, her most popular work was a novel, Coelebs in Search of a Wife, which appeared in two volumes in 1809 (and which ran to nine editions in 1809 alone). In the 1820s she grew gradually less well, and decreased - but did not entirely halt - the amount of writing she produced. On her death in 1833, she left more than ĂÂŁ30,000 to charities and religious societies (equivalent to about ĂÂŁ2,000,000 or $3,000,000 in 2004).
© Brycchan Carey 2004
you donât have to get married to be happy
You donât have to get married to be happy. In fact, until we realize that we donât have to get married to be happy, weâre really not ready to marry. Disclaimer: I am now happily married. If youâre single, you may be ready to click away, and I can understand why. Too many married people have too much to say about singleness. To be sure, not every married person knows your particular pain and circumstances, but some do. And they may have a perspective on singleness, dating, and marriage that none of your single friends have. I was drunk in love more than once, infatuated in dating, mesmerized by marriage. I started dating in middle school, followed by one long serious relationship after another through high school and college. I thought I would be married by 22, and instead I got married almost a decade later. I said things I wish I could unsay, and crossed boundaries I wish I could go back and rebuild. Iâm not some married guy writing to single you. Iâm writing to single me. I know him better than I know my wife â his weaknesses, his blind spots, his impatience â and I have so much good news for him. And for you. When I say that you donât have to be married to be happy, I say that as someone who devoured romance looking desperately for lasting joy â and who knows what it feels like to end up further from it after each breakup. Does Marriage Mean Happiness? One of the greatest hurdles to getting married is our obsession with getting married. We too easily believe the lie that life will never be as good as it could have been if we never get married. The Bible actually says the opposite of that, even though it has many good things to say about marriage. âTo be truly happy in marriage, it cannot be the ultimate source of our happiness.â The apostle Paul celebrates singleness over  marriage: âI wish that all were as I myself am. . . . To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I amâ (1 Corinthians 7:7â8). According to him, we donât ever have to be married to be truly and deeply happy. In fact, marriage may actually threaten the only thing that will make us happy (1 Corinthians 7:32â35). Itâs not a command (1 Corinthians 7:6), he says, but counsel from someone who wrote half of the books in the New Testament. Elsewhere, he also celebrates love and marriage as much as anyone in Scripture (Ephesians 5:25â33). But what he wrote about singleness has everything to do with our desires to be married. You donât have to get married to be happy, but to be truly happy in marriage â and in life â marriage cannot be the ultimate source of your significance or happiness. To be truly happy with a husband or wife, you must be happier in Someone else first. You must be most satisfied in Him. Lonely Hunt for Happiness Romantic love is a heart terrorist unless it is anchored in a higher love. Jesus warns the not-yet-married, âWhoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of meâ (Matthew 10:37). Whoever loves future husband or wife more than me is not worthy of me.  Jesus, why would you pit my love for you against my love for my parents, or my spouse, or my children? Because even the best love here pales in comparison to that love, and any love that competes with our love for him jeopardizes our joy. Elisabeth Elliot writes, âThe cross, as it enters the love life, will reveal the heartâs truth. My heart, I knew, would be forever a lonely hunter unless settled âwhere true joys are to be foundââ ( Passion and Purity , 41). âThe happier you are in God before you are married, the happier youâll be with someone else when you get married.â Donât recklessly chase marriage for things you will only fully find in God. Fullness of joy is not found at that altar, and pleasures forevermore are not lying in the marriage bed. No, Scripture sings about a higher love and greater joy, âYou make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermoreâ (Psalms 16:11). A Lamp to My Heart Jesus tells a story about ten women waiting for the bridegroom, each carrying a lamp while they wait (Matthew 25:1). Five brought extra oil to keep their lamps lit, while the other five brought lamps, but no oil. Both sets of lamps burned brightly for a while, but as the bridegroom finally arrived â when the women needed the lamps most â five were left in the dark and out of the marriage feast (Matthew 25:10). The lamps illustrate, among other things, the difference between falling in love and staying in love. It doesnât take much at all to start a romantic flame, but it is much harder to sustain it through suffering, disappointment, and conflict. The happiest marriages have storehouses of spiritual oil other marriages have never known. Their love isnât fueled by physical attraction or relational chemistry, but by a mutual affection for and devotion to Christ. The happier you are with God before youâre married, the happier you will be with someone else if and when youâre married. The only people who will make you truly happy in marriage will love Jesus more than you. And the only people whom you will make truly happy in marriage are people you love less than you love Jesus. Thatâs true for every single person. You Need to Fall in Love You donât have to get married to be happy, but you do need to fall in love. When Jesus was asked about the most important command in the Bible, he answered, âYou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mindâ (Luke 10:27). To find the love your soul longs for, you give your heart first to God, not to a husband or wife. The best way to pursue the marriage you want today is to pursue God  with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Again, Elliot writes, âWhen obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him. If I can say yes to that question, canât I say yes to pleasing Him? Canât I say yes even if it means a sacrifice? A little quiet reflection will remind me that yes to God always  leads in the end to joy. We can absolutely bank on thatâ ( Passion and Purity , 90). âThe best way to pursue the marriage you want today is to pursue God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.â Ten thousand years from now, your marriage may be just a sweet, but short sticky note in the massive filing cabinet of our happy marriage with Jesus. On our ten-thousandth anniversary with Christ, how will you think about your earthly marriage? How will you think about your current boyfriend or girlfriend (or crush)? After centuries without any confusion or fear or sadness, how will you reflect on your days of heartache and loneliness here? The painful desires and waiting will still have been very real, but now small and insignificant compared with the perfect, seamless love and happiness we will enjoy forever. Donât wait to figure out the source of your happiness until you find a husband or wife. Wait to find a spouse until youâve figured out the true source of happiness. If we knew just how happy Jesus would make us, we would stop looking so desperately for that happiness in a husband or wife. And then we just might be truly happy with that husband or wife one day.
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