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About the Book
"Finishing Strong" by Steve Farrar offers practical advice and inspiration for men to finish their lives with strength and purpose. Drawing from biblical principles and real-life examples, Farrar challenges readers to prioritize their faith, relationships, and legacy, ultimately encouraging them to live a life that honors God and leaves a lasting impact on the world.
Mary Winslow
Godly people speak long after their deaths. This is no exception with Mary Winslow. The biography of this godly woman is heart-warming to read. It is filled with lessons for Christians today on how to walk with Christ even when things are hard in your life.
Sitting at Jesusâ Feet with Mary Winslow
At the heart of godliness is a living bond with the Lord Jesus. That bond evidences itself in âsitting at Jesusâ feet,â as Mary did (Luke 10:39). But what does that involve? A beautiful example of that is another Mary â Mary Winslow, a woman whose devotional writings continue to be printed today. Her writings breathe of tender, humble, and delightful communion with Christ.
The Emptiness of Entertainment
Mary was born on February 28, 1774 in Bermuda, a beautiful island in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean. As an only child of well-to-do parents, she received a good education, but little religious instruction. When she was ânearly eighteen ... (merry), thoughtless, (and) full of life,â she married an army Lieutenant stationed in Bermuda, Thomas Winslow. A little later, when she attended a ball where she basked in the light of popularity, she afterwards sensed the emptiness of it all.
One question began to weigh on her: How can I be righteous before God? Her attempts to obey Godâs law could not satisfy her conscience. Her spiritual distress led her to turn to the Scriptures and plead with God for mercy. She was also brought under an evangelical and experimental ministry, which pointed her to the Saviour of sinners.
As she bowed before Him in her need, the Lord spoke to her soul: âI am thy salvation.â This grace led to a fundamental change in her life. Her husband and others around her only had a formal religion and did not understand her heart experience. This even led her to question whether what she experienced was true, saving grace. But in her distress, the Lord reassured her of His grace.
Having been saved, she became concerned for the spiritual welfare of those around her. She sought to support an evangelical ministry in Bermuda, which had not been present earlier. She instituted family worship in her home, in spite of the initial resistance of her husband.
Great Trials In Life
Other changes also entered her home. Through bad investments, her husband lost much of his fortune. Since they had ten children, including many sons, they decided to move to America. She left ahead with her children. Shortly after she arrived in New York, her infant daughter became sick and died. Before she could even bury her daughter, the message came that her husband had died in England. She wrote that it was âthe heaviest affliction I have ever met with.â
This period was not only marked by the grief of bereavement, but also âspiritual darkness and despondency.â Yet, she confessed, âthe Lord, even in this, has not chastened me according to my backslidings.â Greater yet, the Lord returned with His comfort.
Life continued. As a poor widow, she had to raise her large family. She wrote, âI thought, âHow can I, a helpless woman, care for, and train up, these children to manhood?â I felt I should sink beneath the overwhelming conviction of my weakness and insufficiency.â In this distress, the Lord came with His comforting promise: âI will be a Father to thy fatherless children.â This promise was her pleading ground in the ensuing years, as she wrestled in prayer for her childrenâs salvation.
Some years later, she witnessed a time of revival, first personally, and then in her family and surrounding churches. After a time of darkness, she wrote, God âfilled my heart with unspeakable joy.â God also converted the three sons who were still at home. She continued to pray for the salvation of her older children until they also came to a saving knowledge of Christ. Several sons became ministers.
Mary often struggled with poor health. Towards the end of her life, her health declined to the point where she was confined to her bed. She remained mentally clear and longed to be with her Lord. On October 3, 1854, her desire was fulfilled. Her faint, yet distinct last words were: âI see thee! I see thee! I see thee!â
Great Comfort At Jesusâ Feet
While her afflictions were greater than those of many others, her joys were also deeper than those of many of Godâs people. She was often at the feet of the Lord Jesus. She described her conversion this way: âI was brought to the feet of Jesus.â She did not mean that she simply began a routine of devotional activities, but that God led her to Christ Himself, to bow before Him, receive of His grace, and experience communion with Him.
What that communion involved is best said in her own words. âI have just been favoured with a most precious interview with the King of kings,â she wrote. âHe admitted me, even me, into His royal presence-chamber, and encouraged me to open my mouth wide, telling Him all that was in my heart; and you may be sure I did presume to make large demands upon his goodness ... My heart was dissolved into love and my eyes into tears. I wept that ever I could sin against such a God, grieve that blessed Spirit by whom I am sealed unto glory.â
From a sickbed, she wrote: âI have to deal most clearly with God in Jesus now. He is all in all to me ... My soul holds converse with him, and sweet I find it to lie as a helpless infant at his Feet; yea, passive in his loving hands, knowing no will but His. Holy and distinguished is the privilege of talking with Him as a man talketh with his friend, without restraint or concealment. What a mercy, thus to unburden the whole heart â the tried and weary, the tempted and sorrowful heart â tried by sin, tried by Satan, tried by those you love. What a mercy to have a loving bosom to flee to, one truly loving heart to confide in, which responds to the faintest breathing of the Spirit! Precious Jesus, how inexpressibly dear art Thou to me at this moment! Keep sensibly near to me.â
She did not always experience the same richness of communion, but she knew, âMy choicest seat is at the foot of the Cross ... When I can but view His bleeding wounds, and obtain one glance by faith of His gracious countenance, it is worth a thousand worlds to me.â Is that your confession? You may not always sit at the foot of the Cross and sensibly experience His love and your unworthiness, but if you have ever sat at His feet, you will agree that there is no better place in the world.
What Can We Learn?
Mary Winslowâs life evidences the lessons learned at Jesusâ feet. The most basic lessons involve a deepening knowledge of her sin and Christâs love. Often she wrote things like:
I feel my vileness, my unprofitableness, my woeful shortcomings, and am thankful if I can but only creep to the foot of the Cross, and there repose my weary soul, refreshed by one look at Jesus, who, I do trust, died for my sins.â âNever, never did sin appear so hateful, and my own nothingness so great, as yesterday at the table of the Lord ... but still my hope was in the Lord.â âI have never wept so much for sin as I have done lately ... But while I have thus been led of late to mourn so much for sin, I have never felt pardon so abundantly manifested. God be praised for a free-grace gospel!
As her life drew to a close, she said: âI shall enter heaven a poor sinner saved by grace. I seem to have done nothing for the Lord, who has done so much for me.â Her life shows that greater views of Christ and greater views of sin go together and lead to humility, love, and dependence on the Lord.
Another grace received at Jesusâ feet is the desire for holiness. Often she would write things like: âHow beautiful does holiness appear to me! To be holy is to be happy. May the Lord sanctify us!â âMy heart longs for full sanctification. I am wearied with sin; my soul loathes it, and I abhor myself in dust and in ashes.â âOh, I want to be more conformable to his lovely image, to be sanctified, body, soul, and spirit, and to have every power of my mind under the constant influence of the Holy Spirit.â A view of Christâs holiness and beauty fuelled the desire to be like Him.
A desire for holiness shows itself in her heavenly-mindedness. Often she exhorted to meditate on the glory of heaven, expressed longings to walk as a pilgrim, and one day âto see Jesus, to bask in the full sunshine of His glory, and to sit forever at His feet.â Her son, Octavius, wrote: âher religion was eminently practical ... her life was singularly useful, because her mind was transcendently heavenly.â She exhorted, âMy dear children, live for eternity; this world is not worth living for.â
While she longed to be with Christ, she also had Paulâs desire to be of use on earth. She showed compassion to the poor, sick, lonely, and needy. She visited, helped, and spoke to them. Her main burden was the salvation of loved ones and acquaintances. She exhorted others: âLet us who believe, pray, and exhort, and employ every opportunity to arouse, to instruct, and win all to Christ, who has life, yea, eternal life, to give to all who seek it sincerely and earnestly.â Even in her dying days she wrote: âmy time now is short; I would fain be useful in encouraging others to come to Thee, thou Fountain.â
Mary Winslowâs God Lives
Mary Winslowâs words and example give us beautiful instruction. To learn more from her, read her book of letters, entitled Heaven Opened: The Correspondence of Mary Winslow, published by Reformation Heritage Books. You can read it as a daily devotional. Another excellent source is Octavius Winslowâs Life in Jesus: A Memoir of Mrs. Mary Winslow, Arranged from Her Correspondence, Diary, and Thoughts (Morgan, PA: Soli Deo Gloria, 1995). Now that Reformation Heritage Books has acquired Soli Deo Gloria Publications we hope they will soon republish this classic work.
There is one warning: her life may expose the poverty of your own spiritual life or the complete absence of communion with Christ. Christian biography has a way of doing that. Or is that warning actually a blessing? Godâs purpose is not to put Mary Winslow on a pedestal and make us sink down in discouragement before her. Instead, it is to deliver us from spiritual complacency and dead presumption and stir up a longing to receive the same grace that enables us to sit at Jesusâ feet. Mary Winslowâs confession that she was a sinner was true. Everything worth learning from her is Godâs grace in her. Her God still lives to give the same grace.
When we see someone with something beautiful, we might ask, âHow did you get that?â When you see godliness in another, do you ask similar questions? If Mary Winslow had been asked how she came to sit at the Lord Jesusâ feet, one word would have sounded: âgrace.â By sovereign grace she was âbrought as a poor sinner to His feet.â At the same time, she knew the Lord uses means to lead into communion with Him and restore it again, she exclaimed, âHow needful are the means of grace, if we wish to thrive.â
Godâs Word
Godâs Word is so important. When the Lord first uncovered Mary Winslowâs need of Him, she turned to His Word for relief. That Word then became increasingly precious to her. Though she complained of times of coldness, her private journal records how God blessed her searching of scripture. She also once wrote âwhile reading in the family my heart was drawn out by faith to Christ, and could not but speak of Him to my children.â That is why she counseled, âBe much searching scriptures.â
Though she occasionally wrote that what others called an excellent sermon was no blessing to her, her delight was to hear sermons. She could write, ânext to communion with God, it is my greatest comfort and joy to wait upon the preaching of the word.â Preaching filled with the richness of Christ and the indispensability of the Holy spiritâs work fed her soul.
She also loved to read books expounding the truths of scripture. Some of her favourite authors are still in print today: Thomas Boston, John Newton, Samuel Rutherford, and others. Her advice is timely: âKeep to the old divines. Modern divinity is very shallow â has very little of Christ and experience. May God give you a spiritual appetite!â
Mary Winslow points us to the Word as the means God uses to work and feed godliness. Her counsel is so basic, but do we practice it? Do we not simply read, but search the scriptures, as one searching for treasure? Do we come to church with the prayer to hear His voice? Do we read edifying books? Do we meditate on what we read? Through His Word, Christ leads to His feet to teach in a way that changes hearts and lives.
Prayer
Prayer is the other essential activity at the Lord Jesusâ feet. Begin your day with prayer. Mary Winslow confessed, âMy first prayer in the morning when I awake is addressed to the Holy spirit, that He would take possession of my thoughts, my imagination, my heart, my words, throughout the day, directing, controlling, and sanctifying them all.â she warns, âNever, never omit secret prayer ... Remember, the first departures from Christ begin at the closet, or rather in the heart; and then private prayer is either hurried over, becomes a mere form, or is entirely neglected.â Times in which we set everything aside to be alone in private prayer are essential. The devil always tries to keep us from our knees with work or entertainment only because he knows the importance of prayer. She also knew its importance. She exclaimed, âOh, the mighty power of prayer! Even the best of Christians know but little what it really is.â
She exhorts, âYou cannot come too often. Bring to Him your little cares as well as your great ones. If anything is a trouble to you, however small it may be, you are warranted, nay, commanded, to take it to Him.â Prayer is such a privilege: âTo have Him to go to â to lay before Him all our wants, to express our fears, to plead His promises, and to expect that because He has promised He will fulfil â is worth more than all the world can give.â
Sitting at Jesusâ feet is not only for devotional times, but is a way of life. She writes that believers are to press forward in life, âlooking continually to Jesus, trusting not to our own strength, but waiting in humble dependence upon Him for all our sufficiency to carry us on, and to enable us to hold out unto the end ... Oh that we may be found like his beloved handmaiden of old, sitting at His feet!â She counsels, âYou need not wait until you can retire (for the night) and fall upon your knees; you can do it in a moment. The heart lifted up in silent prayer is sufficient.â Isnât this the echo of Scriptureâs call to âpray without ceasingâ?
Conversation
God is also pleased to bless spiritual conversation. Often she would warn: âBeware of trifling conversation; it grieves the Spirit,â and âAvoid light, trifling professors of religion; their influence will be as poison to your souls.â More than once, after an evening filled with wearying levity and trifling conversation, she would be humbled before God.
Conversation on religious topics is not enough. âWhen Christians meet together, do they not too much talk about religion, preachers, and sermons? I cannot but think, that if they communed less about religion, and more of Jesus, it would give a higher tone of spirituality to their conversation, and prove more refreshing to the soul. He would then oftener draw near, and make Himself one in their midst, and talk with them by the way.â Speaking of the triune God, the Saviour, His Word, promises, discipline, and leadings may stir up desire, trust and love in those who speak and listen. What fills our conversations? That which fills the heart spills out of the mouth. Conversely, a word about Christ may be such a blessing for an empty heart. The Lord exhorts, âWherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye doâ (1 Thess. 5:11).
Grace
Her practical counsels about the means of grace is not a newly invented, five-step plan to godliness. They are as old as Scripture itself. That gives them value. The main means of thriving which God is pleased to bless are the continual seeking of Him and the ongoing and prayerful hearing of His Word.
The encouragement is that Christ Himself uses these means to bring us to His feet by His Spirit. Her letters always traced sitting at Jesusâ feet to Godâs grace. That is why she wrote to an unconverted friend: âMay God open your eyes to see your need of a Savior, and lead you to the feet of Jesus, the sinnerâs Friend.â To a fellow-believer, she wrote: âOh that we might both be led to sit more constantly at the feet of Jesus, looking up, like little children, into His face to catch His smile and watch His eye â to see what He would have us to do, seeking nowhere else for comfort and guidance but in Him!â
Knowing God lives to draw sinners to Christâs feet gives hope. Knowing He uses His means of grace to do so encourages to be diligent in their use. Knowing He delights to bless those who use His means of grace enables us to plead with Him to bless them in spite of all the sin that stains our use of them.
Such a life of dependence is truly blessed. Listen to her words:
What a poor wretched exchange professors make when they barter the blessings of a close walk with God for the beggarly enjoyments of an empty, disappointing world! Ten minutes at the feet of Jesus, in a full view of His love, while confessing sins and shortcomings â sins we know already pardoned â yet sorrowing that we should ever grieve One who so tenderly loves us, is a happiness I would not exchange for millions of worlds.
But Have You Prayed
What hasnât yet changed in your life because you havenât started praying for it? Prayerlessness, of course, comes in varieties. Some almost never pray, proving that prayer is nothing more than a formality, a greeting card to God when they have time. Others only pray when they have some desperate and immediate need, treating prayer like a crisis-response line (and largely neglecting prayer otherwise). Others may pray regularly, but their prayers slowly devolve into repeated phrases that taste stale, impersonal, removed from real life. Even the best among us can sometimes swing between treasuring prayer when we think we really need it and skipping prayer when life seems to be going well. Prayer, however, is not a last resort, but a first line of defense, because God is not a last resort, but the one to whom we look first. Prayer is powerful because God is the most powerful agent of change in any of our lives. Oh, what peace we often forfeit Oh, what needless pain we bear All because we do not carry Everything to God in prayer. Jesus confronted the threat of prayerlessness in his disciples, and in a way that should land with gravity and hope in the midst of our own trials and burdens. Desperate Situation In Mark 9, a man had come, bearing his self-destructive, demon-oppressed son, searching desperately for Jesus â for healing. âTeacher, I brought my son to you,â the father says, âfor he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigidâ (Mark 9:17â18). Parents of young children can at least begin to imagine how excruciating and debilitating this suffering was. Is there anything this father would not do to see his son whole again? âWhat hasnât yet changed in your life because you havenât yet prayed for it?â By the time Jesus arrives on the scene, his disciples have been attempting to drive out the demon. But they were not able (Mark 9:18), even though they had been given authority over unclean spirits (Mark 6:7). And as they struggled over the helpless boy, the religious leaders emerge with crowds to argue with them (Mark 9:14), surely making the situation all the more stressful and tragic. Nothing but Prayer Jesus asks his father, âHow long has this been happening to him?â âFrom childhoodâ (Mark 9:21). Not just for several weeks or months, but over years, potentially decades. âAnd it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help usâ (Mark 9:22). Jesus, of course, can do anything, literally anything. ââIf you canâ! All things are possible for one who believes,â he replies (Mark 9:23). âI believe,â the father famously responds, âhelp my unbelief!â (Mark 9:24). So, Jesus heals the boy: âYou mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him againâ (Mark 9:25). The same spirit that evaded and overpowered the disciples surrenders immediately (and violently) (Mark 9:26), and at just the sound of his voice. When he is alone with his disciples, who are feeling confused and defeated by their failures, they ask him, âWhy could we not cast it out?â (Mark 9:28). A penetrating and ageless question. âThis kind,â Jesus says, âcannot be driven out by anything but prayerâ (Mark 9:29). Maybe they didnât pray at all, or maybe they prayed very little, or maybe they prayed formal, empty, heartless prayers, but either way Jesus says prayer â actually asking God â is what was missing. He could have said, This kind cannot be driven out by anyone but me, but instead he said, âThis kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.â And as surprised as we might be that the disciples didnât think to pray (or pray more), how often might Jesus say the same to us? What Kept Them from Praying? So, why didnât the disciples pray? Why didnât they ask God to help, to intervene, to do what was beyond the disciplesâ own ability? We donât know for sure, but the scene gives us a surprising number of potential reasons, many which might feel surprisingly relevant (and sobering) for own our prayer lives. DISTRACTED BY NOISE âHow often have we given up praying because too many days or months or years have passed?â First, a great crowd had gathered to watch (and interfere with) their ministry (Mark 9:14). They werenât doing spiritual warfare in the privacy of a home. The painful scene had become a stage, and the more the disciples failed and the longer the boy suffered, the more people came to watch. How many of us, with so many curious and suspicious eyes trained on us, would be courageous enough to stop and look toward heaven and pray? Or, how often does the sound of the crowds around us (constantly clawing at our attention through our devices), keep us from hearing Jesus say, âAsk, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to youâ (Matthew 7:7)? Distractions, which come in many kinds and ways, often keep us from praying. DOUBTED BY MAN Not all had come simply to watch, though. Religious experts joined the crowd, arguing with the disciples and saying it couldnât be done (Mark 9:14, 16). The spiritual enemy was obvious, but they had human enemies, as well â doubters, detractors, scoffers. Theyâre not waiting, like the rest of the crowd, for the disciples to heal the boy; they want nothing more than for followers of Jesus to fail (Mark 11:18). We may not face the same immediate opposition (though many Christians do), but wherever we are in the world, many want our prayers to fail â to prove that Jesus was just a man, the Bible just a book, and our prayers just wishful thinking. We know that faithfulness to Christ will cost us favor and approval from the world, and so the fear of man often keeps us from praying. DEFIED BY SATAN But the scribes were nothing compared with their unseen enemies. The disciples were dealing with an actual demon oppression â a real, destructive, spiritual enemy. A spiritual enemy strong enough to hurl the boy into fire and water, âto destroy himâ (Mark 9:22). Maybe worst of all, he made the boy mute (Mark 9:17), unable to cry for help or even explain what was happening to him. What would you do while you watched him being torn apart? Even if we are not experiencing this kind of manifest demonic opposition, we do wrestle, every day, âagainst the spiritual forces of evilâ (Ephesians 6:12). We pray into a downpour of fiery hostility. How often does Satan keep us from praying, doing all he can to keep us from our knees? DISCOURAGED BY INEFFECTIVENESS Though the disciples tried, really tried, to heal the boy, nothing changed. We donât know what they tried, but we know that they tried (Mark 9:18) and that they had tried everything they knew to do (Mark 9:28). When Jesus says, âThis kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer,â he hints at all their failed attempts. And the boy still writhed and foamed and groaned on the ground â like he had for so long. A sense of futility surely began to set in. They had healed many before, but this spirit wouldnât surrender. Maybe no one can heal this boy. How often have we given up praying because the outcome seems decided, because too many days or months or years have passed? Discouragement over unanswered prayer often keeps us from praying. Jesus Really Prayed Many barriers keep us from praying, but nothing kept Jesus from asking his Father, because Jesus knew that nothing was more vital and powerful than prayer. And he knew nothing was more vital and powerful than prayer because no one was more vital and powerful than his Father. âSome things will not change unless we humble ourselves, kneel, and plead with our Father in heaven.â When Jesus says, âThis kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer,â he knew so from personal and persistent experience. He was tempted in every way as we are, but without ever indulging in prayerlessness. We know how dependent he was on God â rising early in the morning (Mark 1:35), getting alone with his Father (Mark 6:46), and pouring out his heart (Mark 14:35). And we know he did this regularly (Luke 5:16). He was not distracted by the crowds or undone by the fear of man. He was not intimidated by demonic warfare or discouraged by Godâs timing. He knew the soul-sustaining, demon-defeating, mountain-moving power of prayer â and he wanted us to know it too. Some oppression will not lift without prayer. Some wounds will not heal without prayer. Some trials will not end without prayer. Some sins will not die without prayer. Some relationships will not mend without prayer. Some things will not change, things we desperately want to change, unless we consistently and persistently humble ourselves, kneel, and plead with our Father in heaven. The all-wise, all-loving, all-powerful God has chosen to do much in the world through our prayers, because prayer is part of his precious relationship with his children and exalts him as the listening and answering God. So, what hasnât yet changed in your life because you havenât yet prayed?