Bitter Free (How To Forgive Anyone, Resolve Conflict And Overcome Anger) Order Printed Copy
- Author: Mark Dejesus
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About the Book
"Bitter Free" by Mark DeJesus is a guide on how to free oneself from anger, resentment, and bitterness through forgiveness and conflict resolution. The book offers practical advice and tools to help readers navigate difficult relationships and let go of negative emotions in order to experience greater peace and freedom.
Jerry Bridges
Jerry Bridges entered into the joy of his Master on Sunday evening, March 6, 2016, at Penrose Hospital in Colorado Springs, the day after he suffered cardiac arrest. He was 86 years old.
Childhood
Gerald Dean Bridges was born on December 4, 1929, in a cotton-farming home in Tyler, Texas, to fundamentalist parents, six weeks after the Black Tuesday stock market crash that led to the Great Depression.
Jerry was born with several disabilities: he was cross-eyed, he was deaf in his right ear (which was not fully developed), and he had spine and breastbone deformities. But given his familyâs poverty, they were unable to afford medical care for these challenges.
The separatist church in East Texas where the Bridges were members had an altar call after every service. Jerry walked the aisle three times, at the ages of 9, 11, and 13. But he later realized that he had not been born again.
His mother Lillian passed away in 1944 when he was 14.
Conversion
In August of 1948, as an 18-year-old college student right before his sophomore year began, Jerry was home alone one night in bed. He acknowledged to the Lord that he was not truly a Christian, despite growing up in a Christian home and professing faith. He prayed, âGod whatever it takes, I want Christ to be my Savior.â
The next week in his dorm room at the University of Oklahoma he was working on a school assignment and reached for a textbook, when he noticed the little Bible his parents had given him in high school. He figured that since he was now a Christian, he ought to start reading it daily, which he did (and never stopped doing for the rest of his days).
The Navy
After graduating with an engineering degree on a Navy ROTC scholarship, he went on active duty with the Navy, serving as an officer during the Korean conflict (1951-1953). A fellow officer invited him to go to a Navigator Bible study. Jerry went and he was hooked. He had never experienced anything like this before.
When stationed on ship in Japan, he got to know several staff members of the Navigators quite well. One day, after Jerry had been in Japan for six months, a Navy worker asked him why he didnât just throw in his lot with the Navigators and come to work for them. The very next day, December 26, 1952, Jerry failed a physical exam due to the hearing loss in his right ear, and he was given a medical discharge in July 1953, after being in the Navy for only two years. Jerry was not overly disappointed, surmising that perhaps this was the Lordâs way of steering him to the Navigators.
When he returned to the U.S., he began working for Convair, an airplane manufacturing company in southern California, writing technical papers for shop and flight line personnel. It was there that he learned to write simply and clearlyâskills the Lord would later use to instruct and edify thousands of people from his pen.
The Navigators
Jerry was single at the time, living in the home of Navigator Glen Solum, a common practice in the early days of The Navigators. In 1955 Jim invited Jerry to go with him to a staff conference at the headquarters of The Navigators in Glen Eyrie at Colorado Springs. It was there that Jerry sensed a call from the Lord to be involved with vocational ministry. He was resistant to the idea of going on staff, but felt conviction and prayed to the Lord, âWhatever you want.â The following day he met Dawson Trotman, the 49-year-old founder of The Navigators, who wanted to interview Jerry for a position, which he received and accepted. Jerry was put in charge of the correspondence departmentâanswering letters, handling receipts, and mainly the NavLog newsletter to supporters.
When Trotman died in June of 1956 (saving a girl who was drowning), Jim Downing took a position equivalent to a chief operations operator. A Navy man, Jim Downing knew that Jerry had also served in the Navy and tapped him to be his assistant.
Jerry struggled at times in his role, unsure if this was his calling since his position was so different from the typical campus reps. After ten years on staff he told the Lord, âIâm going to do this for the rest of my life. If you want me out of The Navigators youâll have to let me know.â
Beginning in 1960, Jerry served for three years in Europe as administrative assistant to the Navigatorsâ Europe Director. In January of 1960, he read a booklet entitled The Doctrine of Election, which he first considered heresy but then embraced the following day.
In October of 1963, at the age of 34, he married his first wife, Eleanor Miller of The Navigators following a long-distance relationship. Two children followed: Kathy in 1966, and Dan in 1967. From 1965 to 1969 Jerry served as office manager for The Navigatorsâ headquarters office at Glen Eyrie.
From 1969 to 1979 Jerry served as the Secretary-Treasurer for The Navigators. It was during this time that NavPress was founded in 1975. Their first publications began by transcribing and editing audio material from their tape archives and turning them into booklets. They produced one by Jerry on Willpower. Leroy Eimsâwho started the Collegiate ministryâencouraged Jerry to try his hand at writing new material. Jerry had been teaching at conferences on holiness, so he suggested a book along those lines.
In 1978, NavPress published The Pursuit of Holiness, which has now sold over 1.5 million copies. Jerry assumed it would be his only book. A couple of years later, after reading about putting off the old self and putting on the new self from Ephesians 4, he decided to write The Practice of Godlinessâon developing a Christlike character. That book went on to sell over half a million copies, and his 1988 book on Trusting God has sold nearly a million copies.
Jerry served as The Navigatorsâ Vice President for Corporate Affairs from 1979 to 1994. It was in this season of ministry that Eleanor developed non-Hodgkinâs lymphoma. She went to be with the Lord on November 9, 1988, just three weeks after their 25th wedding anniversary. On November 24, 1989, Jerry married Jane Mallot, who had known the Bridges family since the early â70s.
Jerryâs final position with The Navigatorâs was in the area of staff development with the Collegiate Mission. He saw this ministry as developing people, rather than teaching people how to do ministry. In addition to his work with The Navigators, he also maintained an active writing and teaching ministry, traveling the world to instruct and equip pastors and missionaries and other workers through conferences, seminars, and retreats.
Lessons
In 2014, Jerry published a memoir of his life, tracing the providential hand of God through his own story: God Took Me by the Hand: A Story of Godâs Unusual Providence (NavPress, 2014). He closes the work with seven spiritual lessons he learned in his six decades of the Christian life:
The Bible is meant to be applied to specific life situations.
All who trust in Christ as Savior are united to Him in a loving way just as the branches are united to the vine.
The pursuit of holiness and godly character is neither by self-effort nor simply letting Christ âlive His life through you.â
The sudden understanding of the doctrine of election was a watershed event for me that significantly affected my entire Christian life.
The representative union of Christ and the believer means that all that Christ did in both His perfect obedience and His death for our sins is credited to us.
The gospel is not just for unbelievers in their coming to Christ.
We are dependent on the Holy Spirit to apply the life of Christ to our lives.
His last book, The Blessing of Humility: Walk within Your Calling, will be published this summer by NavPress.
Legacy
One of the great legacies of Jerry Bridges is that he combinedâto borrow some titles from his booksâthe pursuit of holiness and godliness with an emphasis on transforming grace. He believed that trusting God not only involved believing what he had done for us in the past, but that the gospel empowers daily faith and is transformative for all of life.
In 2009 he explained to interviewer Becky Grosenbach the need for this emphasis within the culture of the ministry he had given his life to:
When I came on staff almost all the leaders had come out of the military and we had pretty much a military culture. We were pretty hard core. We were duty driven. The WWII generation. We believed in hard work. We were motivated by saying âthis is what you ought to do.â Thatâs okay, but it doesnât serve you over the long haul. And so 30 years ago there was the beginning of a change to emphasize transforming grace, a grace-motivated discipleship.
In the days ahead, many will write tributes of this dear saint (see, e.g., this one from his friend, prayer partner, and sometimes co-author Bob Bevington). I would not be able to improve upon the reflections and remembrances of those who knew him better than I did. But I do know that he received from the Lord the ultimate acclamation as he entered into the joy of his Master and received the words we all long to hear, âWell done, my good and faithful servant.â There was nothing flashy about Jerry Bridges. He was a humble and unassuming manâstrong in spirit, if not in voice or frame. And now we can rejoice with him in his full and final healing as he beholds his beloved Savior face to face. Thank you, God, for this man who helped us see and know you more.
Jerry Bridges wrote more than 20 books over the course of nearly 40 years:
The Pursuit of Holiness (NavPress, 1978)
The Practice of Godliness (NavPress, 1983)
True Fellowship (NavPress, 1985) [later published as The Crisis of Caring (P&R, 1992); finally republished with a major revision as True Community (NavPress, 2012)]
Trusting God (NavPress, 1988)
Transforming Grace (NavPress, 1991)
The Discipline of Grace (NavPress, 1994)
The Joy of Fearing God (Waterbrook, 1997)
I Exalt You, O God (Waterbrook, 2000)
I Give You Glory, O God (Waterbrook, 2002)
The Gospel for Real Life (NavPress, 2002)
The Chase (NavPress, 2003) [taken from Pursuit of Holiness]
Growing Your Faith (NavPress, 2004)
Is God Really in Control? (NavPress, 2006)
The Fruitful Life (NavPress, 2006)
Respectable Sins (NavPress, 2007) [student edition, 2013]
The Great Exchange [co-authored with Bob Bevington] (Crossway, 2007)
Holiness Day by Day (NavPress, 2008) [a devotional drawing from his earlier writing on holiness]
The Bookends of the Christian Life [co-authored with Bob Bevington] (Crossway, 2009)
Who Am I? (Cruciform, 2012)
The Transforming Power of the Gospel (NavPress, 2012)
31 Days Toward Trusting God (NavPress, 2013) [abridged from Trusting God]
God Took Me by the Hand (NavPress, 2014)
The Blessing of Humility: Walk within Your Calling (NavPress, 2016)
For an audio library of Jerry Bridgesâ talks, go here.
Funeral
Visitation for Jerry Bridges was held on Thursday, March 10, 2016, from 5 to 8 pm, at Shrine of Remembrance (1730 East Fountain Blvd, Colorado Springs, CO 80910).
The memorial service was held on Friday, March 11, 2016, at 2 pm at Village Seven Presbyterian Church (4055 Nonchalant Circle South, Colorado Springs, CO 80917).
The Lost Giant Among Giants - Lessons from Harold John Ockenga
In September of 1966, John Piper was a junior at Wheaton College, studying for a career in medicine. In those days, Wheaton began its fall semesters with âSpiritual Emphasis Week.â Piper could not attend the sessions in person because he was sick with mononucleosis and was quarantined in the health center. However, a local radio station carried the sermons, so he listened while in quarantine. The preacher that week was Harold John Ockenga. Listening to Ockengaâs sermons changed Piperâs trajectory. He has referred to his time in quarantine as some of the âmost crucialâ weeks of his life. Why? Because this is when he sensed a strong call and desire to the ministry of the word. Piper remembers Ockengaâs preaching as the primary instrument God used that week to birth a sense of âcallingâ to preach â a calling still undimmed. By the end of that week, Piperâs heart was exploding with a desire to âhandle the word of God the way [Ockenga] was handling it.â Soon after, Piper switched from pre-med. After graduating from Wheaton College, he went on to study at Fuller Theological Seminary, the school cofounded by Ockenga. Piper is not the only prominent evangelical leader to have been greatly influenced by Harold Ockengaâs ministry. The famous evangelist Billy Graham once said, âI never met a man among evangelicals who could compare to the mighty intellect and spiritual development of Harold John Ockengaâ (Awakening the Evangelical Mind, 66). Ockenga pastored in Boston for more than thirty years. He wrote a dozen books and countless articles. He was the driving force behind the resurgence of evangelical scholarship in the mid-twentieth century, he cofounded two seminaries (Fuller and Gordon-Conwell), and he was a close friend and mentor to several prominent evangelical leaders, including Graham and theologian Carl F.H. Henry. Harold Ockenga may not be a household name today, but it would not be a stretch to put Ockenga among the most influential pastors of the twentieth century. Early Life and Formation Ockenga was born in 1905 in Chicago. From a young age, he demonstrated a sharp mind, great oratory, and natural leadership skills. He professed faith at age 11 but had a life-transforming moment toward the ministry at a conference at age 17. Ockenga had originally planned to attend the University of Chicago to pursue law, but this conference experience led him toward theological studies at Taylor University in Indiana. While at Taylor, he joined the traveling ministry team, which gave him the opportunity to preach more than four hundred times before graduating. It proved to be valuable experience. After graduating from Taylor in 1927, Ockenga attended Princeton Theological Seminary to study under great scholars such as R.D. Wilson, Cornelius Van Til, and J. Gresham Machen. When Ockenga enrolled at Princeton, the institution was in the middle of a controversy that had been going on for nearly a decade between Modernists and Fundamentalists. The Modernists embraced an ideology with roots in the Enlightenment and the liberal theologians of the 1800s. Many questioned the veracity of Scripture, claiming that Christians ought to revise doctrine in the light of modern science. The Fundamentalists, in contrast, were committed to Christian orthodoxy, the authority and infallibility of the Bible, the divinity of Christ, and the priority of evangelism. The battle raged at Princeton throughout the 1920s. Of all the older theological schools and seminaries, Princeton was the only one that still taught orthodoxy. Unfortunately, the Modernists eventually gained control. Ockenga had a front-row seat to a watershed moment in American Christian history. This crucible experience shaped him. In 1929, Machen and a group of scholars left Princeton to launch Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. Ockenga left Princeton to attend the upstart Westminster and became Machenâs foremost protĂ©gĂ©. After graduating from Westminster, Ockenga briefly pastored in New Jersey before moving to Pittsburgh to serve as an assistant pastor for several years. While there, he earned his PhD from the University of Pittsburgh and met his wife, Audrey. Preaching at Park Street Church Ockenga became the pastor of the historic Park Street Church in 1936. Dr. A.Z. Conrad, the former pastor at Park Street, had been a prominent preacher with a successful radio ministry. These were big shoes for Ockenga to fill, but he was up to the task. Biographer Harold Lindsell commented that, immediately upon arriving at Park Street Church, Ockenga established himself as a âpreacherâs preacherâ (Park Street Prophet, 75). Ockenga continued, and even expanded, Conradâs radio programming. People from all over New England and even parts of Canada tuned in regularly to hear Ockengaâs powerful expository sermons. His popularity grew as Park Street Church grew â in both numbers and influence. By the mid-1940s, the church had more than two thousand members, supported a horde of missionaries, and had become the most influential church in the region. Ockengaâs ministry was dynamic. He was a faithful and brilliant Bible expositor who engaged in theology, cultural commentary, church history, philosophy, and pulpit evangelism. He was unafraid to publicly rebuke false doctrines and to denounce political ideologies that he believed would impede human flourishing. When describing Ockengaâs preaching, author Owen Strachan says Ockenga preached âthat old-style Calvinism; he expounded the glories of aesthetic culture; [and] he threw down the political gauntletâ (Awakening the Evangelical Mind, 63). Ockenga was, as Lindsell stated, âone of the finest preachers and staunchest defenders of the faith this country has ever knownâ (Park Street Prophet, 11). Birth of Neo-Evangelicalism By the time Ockenga had entered pastoral ministry in the 1930s, most denominational institutions, seminaries, and publishing houses across America were dominated by theological liberals â greatly impeding the propagation of genuine gospel work. Evangelicalism seemed under duress. But in the 1940s, a new brand of evangelicalism was born â a brand that would intentionally engage the academy, that would seek to influence the most influential institutions of culture, and that would cooperate across denominational lines for gospel work. This new brand of evangelicalism â later called âneo-evangelicalismâ â was first primarily promoted through the formation of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) in 1942. At the gathering where the NAE was formed, Ockenga lamented, âEvangelical Christianity has suffered nothing but a series of defeats for decades.â But Ockenga believed that they could âaffect the whole future course of evangelical Christianity in Americaâ if they were willing to rethink their approach to culture and ministry. Ockenga began the charge by serving as the NAEâs first president for three years. He was neo-evangelicalismâs most ardent proponent. He crisscrossed the country, promoting and facilitating dozens of initiatives. Strachan writes, âNo figure did more than Ockenga to run, establish, and invigorate the premier institutions of the movementâ (Awakening the Evangelical Mind, 23) Theological Scholarship Matters What are some takeaways from Ockengaâs ministry for us today? One of the greatest lessons we learn from Ockenga is that evangelical intellectualism and quality theological training matter deeply. Theologian Al Mohler has written that Ockenga, along with fellow evangelical leader Carl Henry, diagnosed the âconservative Protestant intellectual withdrawalâ from the âintellectual life of the nationâ as being the primary reason for the collapse of conservative Protestantism in America (Awakening the Evangelical Mind, 14). Evangelicals lost their influence as they retreated from the academic spheres. Ockengaâs first academic initiative was the creation of Boston School of the Bible, which offered classes for laypeople in church history, doctrine, evangelism, missions, and apologetics. The school drew hundreds of students from around the region, including many students from liberal churches. While this looked to many to be a success, it didnât quite accomplish what Ockenga really wanted â to train church leaders and would-be scholars to engage the institutions of cultural influence. Both Ockenga and Henry believed that Christianity was faltering culturally, not because of a âlack of evangelistic fervor,â as Mohler says, but because of âthe absence of intellectual vigor.â This inspired Ockenga to pioneer and host the Plymouth Scholarsâ Conferences. These conferences, held every other year, were designed as places where evangelicals could engage with trends and thoughts from the world of academia for the advancement of evangelical scholarship. These conferences were the forerunners of the Evangelical Theological Society, established in 1949. Ockenga also promoted evangelical scholarship by teaming up with radio evangelist Charles Fuller to launch Fuller Theological Seminary in California. Ockenga served as the schoolâs first president remotely while still pastoring in Boston. The final formal academic initiative of Ockengaâs life came after he retired from pastoring in 1969. Ockenga became the president of Gordon College and Divinity School. He led Gordonâs Divinity School to merge with Conwell School of Theology to form a new seminary. Ockenga spent a decade as the president of Gordon-Conwell. Friendships Matter Another lesson we learn from the life of Harold Ockenga is the importance of friendships in ministry. Whether itâs Calvin and Bucer, Whitefield and Edwards, or even Jonathan and David from the Old Testament, we realize that friendships matter. Ockengaâs friendships with Carl Henry and Billy Graham served as the foundation for many projects. In 1950, Ockenga invited Graham to speak at a youth rally. This event sparked a revival in Boston and a series of subsequent revivals in New England. This amplified Grahamâs influence throughout the region. It also solidified a friendship between Ockenga and Graham that would last a lifetime. Ockenga would later serve as one of the directors for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and was one of Grahamâs closest confidants. Over the course of their lives, Graham and Ockenga, along with Henry, worked together on various ministry initiatives. One of the most notable is Christianity Today. Ockenga served as a contributor, editor, and chairman of the board for the publication for 25 years. Another significant ministry that resulted from Ockenga and Grahamâs friendship was the formation of the World Evangelical Fellowship. Both men were passionate about missions. The World Evangelical Fellowship allowed indigenous groups in 21 countries around the globe to cooperate in missions in order to accomplish what Ockenga labeled the âtask that had too long been left undoneâ (The Surprising Work of God, 217). Investing in the Next Generation Last, Ockenga modeled how to leave a lasting legacy. He believed a commitment to mentoring the next generation was essential. Pastor Larry Osborne has written about the importance of investing in âyoung eaglesâ â that is, the leaders of the next generation of the church. Ockenga modeled this beautifully. One author observed a time when Ockenga (in his mid-forties) was at an event with an entourage of young men in their twenties and early thirties. He was frequently flanked by young men he was guiding. Due to Ockengaâs presence in Boston, he was well-placed to befriend and mentor many brilliant young minds. Men like Edward Carnell, Wayne Grudem, Kenneth Kantzer, George Eldon Ladd, John Gerstner, Samuel Schultz, Merrill Tenney, Roger Nicole, Gleason Archer, and J. Harold Greenlee were all profoundly influenced by Ockenga while they lived in Boston. These men would go on to become respected evangelical scholars, theologians, and leaders. Giant Among Giants Ockengaâs preaching, leadership, scholarship, and entrepreneurship were outstanding. Few evangelical leaders in the twentieth century were influential as Ockenga. Yet in his final moments on earth, we observe this influential preacherâs humility. When Ockenga was dying of cancer, the elders from Park Street Church came to visit him. One of them said, âJust think of all the things that God has done through you. He allowed you to minister to millions of people, be president of Fuller Theological Seminary and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, be one of the founders of the NAE and the whole evangelical movement, and be one of the people who helped give Billy Graham his startâ (Surprising Work, 224). Ockenga didnât seem impressed with his own resume. Then another elder quietly said, âWell, Harold, I suggest that when you see the Master, just say, âGod, be merciful to me a sinner.ââ Tears flowed down Ockengaâs cheeks. Harold John Ockenga, the man some called the Park Street Prophet, died on February 8, 1985. At the funeral, Billy Graham honored him with these words: âHe was a giant among giants. Nobody outside of my family influenced me more than he did. I never made a major decision without first calling and asking his advice and counsel.â Article by Kenneth E. Ortiz