Singles With A Difference Order Printed Copy

Author: Faith Oyedepo
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About the Book

"Singles with a Difference" by Faith Oyedepo is a practical guide for singles looking to live purposefully and fulfill their divine destinies. The book covers topics such as self-discovery, maintaining purity, building successful relationships, and preparing for marriage. Through personal anecdotes and biblical principles, Oyedepo encourages singles to embrace their uniqueness and commit to living a life that honors God.

John Wesley

John Wesley, (born June 17, 1703, Epworth, Lincolnshire, England—died March 2, 1791, London), Anglican clergyman, evangelist, and founder, with his brother Charles, of the Methodist movement in the Church of England. John Wesley was the second son of Samuel, a former Nonconformist (dissenter from the Church of England) and rector at Epworth, and Susanna Wesley. After six years of education at the Charterhouse, London, he entered Christ Church, Oxford University, in 1720. Graduating in 1724, he resolved to become ordained a priest; in 1725 he was made a deacon by the bishop of Oxford and the following year was elected a fellow of Lincoln College. After assisting his father at Epworth and Wroot, he was ordained a priest on September 22, 1728. Recalled to Oxford in October 1729 to fulfill the residential requirements of his fellowship, John joined his brother Charles, Robert Kirkham, and William Morgan in a religious study group that was derisively called the “Methodists” because of their emphasis on methodical study and devotion. Taking over the leadership of the group from Charles, John helped the group to grow in numbers. The “Methodists,” also called the Holy Club, were known for their frequent communion services and for fasting two days a week. From 1730 on, the group added social services to their activities, visiting Oxford prisoners, teaching them to read, paying their debts, and attempting to find employment for them. The Methodists also extended their activities to workhouses and poor people, distributing food, clothes, medicine, and books and also running a school. When the Wesleys left the Holy Club in 1735, the group disintegrated. Following his father’s death in April 1735, John was persuaded by an Oxford friend, John Burton, and Col. James Oglethorpe, governor of the colony of Georgia in North America, to oversee the spiritual lives of the colonists and to missionize the Native Americans as an agent for the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel. Accompanied by Charles, who was ordained for this mission, John was introduced to some Moravian emigrants who appeared to him to possess the spiritual peace for which he had been searching. The mission to the indigenous peoples proved abortive, nor did Wesley succeed with most of his flock. He served them faithfully, but his stiff high churchmanship antagonized them. He had a naive attachment to Sophia Hopkey, niece of the chief magistrate of Savannah, who married another man, and Wesley unwisely courted criticism by repelling her from Holy Communion. In December 1737 he fled from Georgia; misunderstandings and persecution stemming from the Sophia Hopkey episode forced him to go back to England. In London John met a Moravian, Peter Böhler, who convinced him that what he needed was simply faith, and he also discovered Martin Luther’s commentary on the Letter of Paul to the Galatians, which emphasized the scriptural doctrine of justification by grace through faith alone. On May 24, 1738, in Aldersgate Street, London, during a meeting composed largely of Moravians under the auspices of the Church of England, Wesley’s intellectual conviction was transformed into a personal experience while Luther’s preface to the commentary to the Letter of Paul to the Romans was being read. From this point onward, at the age of 35, Wesley viewed his mission in life as one of proclaiming the good news of salvation by faith, which he did whenever a pulpit was offered him. The congregations of the Church of England, however, soon closed their doors to him because of his enthusiasm. He then went to religious societies, trying to inject new spiritual vigour into them, particularly by introducing “bands” similar to those of the Moravians—i.e., small groups within each society that were confined to members of the same sex and marital status who were prepared to share intimate details of their lives with each other and to receive mutual rebukes. For such groups Wesley drew up Rules of the Band Societies in December 1738. For a year he worked through existing church societies, but resistance to his methods increased. In 1739 George Whitefield, who later became an important preacher of the Great Awakening in Great Britain and North America, persuaded Wesley to go to the unchurched masses. Wesley gathered converts into societies for continuing fellowship and spiritual growth, and he was asked by a London group to become their leader. Soon other such groups were formed in London, Bristol, and elsewhere. To avoid the scandal of unworthy members, Wesley published, in 1743, Rules for the Methodist societies. To promote new societies he became a widely travelled itinerant preacher. Because most ordained clergymen did not favour his approach, Wesley was compelled to seek the services of dedicated laymen, who also became itinerant preachers and helped administer the Methodist societies. Many of Wesley’s preachers had gone to the American colonies, but after the American Revolution most returned to England. Because the bishop of London would not ordain some of his preachers to serve in the United States, Wesley controversially took it upon himself, in 1784, to do so. In the same year he pointed out that his societies operated independently of any control by the Church of England. Toward the end of his life, Wesley became an honoured figure in the British Isles.

letter to a friend engaged to a nonbeliever

Dear Kelly, I was surprised by the recent news of your engagement. While I wish I could celebrate with you without reservation, I admit I have some. My greatest concern is that your fiancé does not know or love Christ. Because I love you and care about your future, I feel compelled to speak now rather than to hold my peace, knowing full well how you might receive my “peace.” I expect that, if you’re honest, you may have your own reservations about the upcoming ceremony. I hope you will heed those reservations and reconsider. As I have watched people walk down this road, I have noticed several common ways people justify marrying a nonbeliever. I want to address them in hope that you might experience grace to trust God and his word regarding marriage. “Others Are Doing It.” “Let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39).” You know my story. My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. But as much as I love her and our marriage, it was wrong for her to do so. While God was gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39). Furthermore, the difficult path to my own conversion and then to our wedding ceremony is not one I would wish upon others. I fear you’ve latched onto God’s grace in my marriage (and others like mine) as a sort of promise for your own. God has made no such promise. While God was merciful to bring me to himself despite my wife’s disobedience, we are the exception and not the rule — certainly not the model. I know far more stories that did not play out like ours. The Bible gives us more stories like that (Exodus 34:16; Ezra 9:1–15). Solomon says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). Don’t let the mistakes of others serve as a justification for repeating them. “He’s a Good Guy.” While I do think your fiancé is a great guy by earthly standards, it’s his standing before God that matters most for marriage. You mentioned how important it was to you that he respected your boundaries, particularly after your last boyfriend pushed the boundaries, even while claiming to be Christian. I agree that he certainly seems to outshine your last suitor, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of lateral comparison. We must be careful about making choices today based solely on setting them next to bad choices in the past. Look for a man striving to imitate Jesus (1 Corinthians 11:1). Why did you put your faith in Jesus, and choose to follow him? Are you absolutely sure you won’t regret committing yourself until death to someone who might never help you see or love Jesus more? If he does not share your captivation with Christ, you and he will always stand on unlevel and unsteady ground as you carry out your vows in marriage. “Give Him a Chance.” You’ve mentioned that your boyfriend is “warming up” to the idea of spiritual things. You’ve even thought at times he might be on the verge of conversion. Beware of your heart, which is prone to lie to you (Jeremiah 17:9), and of the butterflies in your stomach that often flutter louder than the Spirit within us. Until you are absolutely sure that he has also been born again by the same Spirit alive in you (John 3:5), heed the warning and conviction the Spirit brings (John 16:8). “If he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding?” Don’t be fooled into thinking he is simply “spiritual, but not religious.” There is no such thing as spiritual neutrality. We are always either with Jesus or against him (Matthew 12:30). Despite his warmth toward you, any attempt to have God on his own terms is an attempt to reject the true God over your life and heart. If he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding? “I’ll Die Alone.” I know it can be hard to see other couples getting married, holding hands, and having kids while you remain single. Don’t let this serve as a reason to try and seize marriage at the first opportunity. I wish you could see a glimpse of a future in which you remained faithful to your vows to a man who remained faithless toward your Savior. Worse than attending church alone your entire life, while your husband remained at home, is the haunting thought that the man you gave yourself to might spend eternity separated from you and God. Worse yet is the thought that he might lead you or your children down the same path (Matthew 7:13). It really is possible to be more isolated and alone within a marriage than without. Marriage is no savior. It will not ultimately save anyone from sin or loneliness or unhappiness. It cannot bear the weight of those needs and longings. While the single life is not without trials, remember you are not alone. So long as you cling to Jesus, he will be with you (Matthew 28:20). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He’s also given you community in the church. Even if your hope for a husband is never fulfilled in this life, you are promised a seat at the great wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7), and he will far surpass everything you might have experienced with an earthly husband. “I Already Said ‘Yes.’” I know that backing out of your engagement at this point may cost you, financially and otherwise. I know it might feel embarrassing. But it would be far better in the long run to lose some money and gain a few months of heartache than to commit the rest of your life to a marriage God does not want for you. Until you say, “I do,” it is not too late to wait. God may even redeem the situation in a surprising way for his glory if it is handled well. Would it not speak volumes about your faith if you told him you were deciding to entrust your future to God? If you were to say, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21)? Tell him you will settle for nothing less than being married “in the Lord.” Confess your disobedience to God and the sin of misleading him. Your repentance and faith could, by God’s mysterious grace, be the vehicle God uses to bring him to himself. “If you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage.” Even then, you must make clear to him that a future with you is not promised. Should he come to saving faith, it must be to have God, not to have a wife. Otherwise, he risks making an idol out of you and using Jesus as a means to something else. If you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage. I trust that, if you are willing to listen, the Holy Spirit will lead you into the truth that gaining a husband while forsaking your soul is a trade you do not want to make (Mark 8:36). I also pray that you would eventually see any wounds I have caused you as the faithful wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6), and not as those of an enemy. As you seek God’s will, hide yourself in him and his will, and wait with patience for the day he will wipe away every tear. With love and grace, Your Pastor