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About the Book


"I Will Be Found By You" by Francis Frangipane is a spiritual guide that explores how to cultivate a deeper connection with God through prayer and seeking His presence. It offers practical advice and techniques for developing a more intimate relationship with God and finding his presence in everyday life. The book encourages readers to pursue a spiritual journey of discovery and transformation, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

J.I. Packer

J.I. Packer J. I. Packer comes from humble origin. Packer claims to have been born into a lower middle class family. The family lived in the central part of Gloucester, a cathedral city in the southwest of England. Packer's parents made it clear that any advanced education would depend on scholarships. Packer received the scholarships that enabled him to be educated at Oxford University. Packer endured a life-changing accident at the age of seven. On September 19, 1933, a schoolyard bully chased Packer onto the busy London Road, where he was hit by a bread van and knocked to the ground. He sustained a serious head injury and has had a noticeable dent in the side of his skull ever since. Packer has taken a range of disappointments in life in stride, and he says regarding his childhood accident that "it was part of life." Packer was converted two weeks after arriving at Oxford University as a student. Packer was raised in a nominally rather than genuinely Christian family and church. When he entered Oxford University, he thought of himself as a Christian because he had defended Christianity in intellectual debate at school. While attending an evangelistic service sponsored by the campus InterVarsity group, he realized that he was not a true Christian. By God's grace, he left the service as a believing and saved Christian. Packer served a three-year tenure as a parish minister in a suburb of Birmingham. Because Packer's primary career has been as a teacher, author, and speaker, most people think of him as an academician only. But Packer also had a brief career as an Anglican minister. Almost immediately after his conversion, Packer began a process leading to ordination in the Church of England. As he was finishing his Oxford dissertation on Richard Baxter, he began a three-year parish ministry as an Anglican curate in suburban Birmingham. Packer's first book sold 20,000 copies in its first year and has never been out of print since then. An address that Packer gave to a student group in London in 1957 caught the attention of an Inter-Varsity editor, who requested that Packer turn the address into a pamphlet. Instead, Packer worked on the material for eighteen months and handed over a book-length manuscript to the editor. The book was entitled Fundamentalism and the Word of God. Packer has published so much that it is impossible to compile a bibliography of his writings. In both his speaking and writing, Packer has followed a policy of entering virtually every door that has opened before him. The list of his publications defies tabulation, partly because of the large number of items, partly because the range of genres is so broad that it is hard to know what constitutes a publication as opposed to a privately printed document, partly because Packer has often published the same book in both the U. S. and Britain under different titles, and partly because many of his writings have been republished, sometimes with new titles. Packer is an unsung hero as well as a famous man. The fame of Packer is well attested. Typing his name into a search engine yields a fluctuating number of results day-by-day, but we can at least say that the number is well over half a million. Despite his celebrity status, however, Packer has been indefatigable in giving himself to people and projects in ways that are invisible to the public. No audience is too small for Packer, and such venues as speaking to teenagers in a living room have been a standard feature of his life. Packer believes that the most important project of his life is a book that does not even carry his name—the English Standard Version of the Bible (for which Packer served as general editor). That verdict comes from a man whose book Knowing God ranks fifth in a list of "books that have shaped evangelicals." Packer has been equally at home in the Anglican world and the nonconformist evangelical world. Among Anglicans, Packer has been an "iconic figure" who embodies the essence of Anglicanism. This is relatively unknown to "free church" evangelicals because Packer has moved with equal ease in both worlds and has been more influential in the nonconformist world (especially the Calvinistic wing). Packer has been a controversialist virtually his entire public life. Packer has said that he has "always wanted peace, and like Richard Baxter I've been involved in trouble, trouble, trouble, all the way." The "trouble" that Packer references is public controversy and attacks on him. In private conversation Packer confided to me that he has been a controversialist by necessity, not by preference. In 1991, Packer wrote an article discussing how he wishes to be remembered, and regarding his lifetime of entering controversy for the sake of truth he said that it is something that needs to be done but tends to be "barren . . . for the soul." Packer has made his mark by being a faithful steward. J. I. Packer has achieved fame and been serviceable to Christ's kingdom through a very simple formula: he has done the task before him and left the outcome to God. To use a metaphor that Voltaire was inspired to place at the end of his book Candide, Packer has cultivated his garden instead of engaging in grand designs. When I spent two days with Packer in the Crossway offices in June of 2014, he repeatedly told me that he has never cultivated a following. How, then, did he make it onto Time magazine's list of 25 most influential evangelicals? His published writings have been the main vehicle for spreading his name and influence. Packer has never held a prestigious academic post and has never filled a high-visibility pulpit on a permanent basis. We can truly say regarding his fame and influence that God did it.

The Silent Marriage-Killer

Most Christian couples would not list  shame  as one of the top struggles in their marriage. However, in almost a decade of counseling, I’ve seen very few marriages that aren’t hampered by shame on some level. It’s just not often the first thing that’s identified, but it underlies so many other common struggles, especially communication and sex. How can you know if this silent marriage-killer is present in your relationship? Consider the following self-evaluative questions: Are there topics that have become off-limits because you or your spouse get too prickly, defensive, or embarrassed? Can you share embarrassing stories or painful struggles with your spouse and expect empathy, or would you be more likely to receive further ridicule or condemnation? Do you talk openly about your failures, past and present? Is your spouse the first person you turn to for support, comfort, or celebration? And does your spouse do the same to you? When you confront sin in your spouse, do you do so with gentleness and humility as a fellow struggler, or with the posture of one who would  never sin in that way ? How comfortable are you in your sexual relationship? Do you share your emotions with your spouse and vice versa? When conflicts arise between you, are you able to resolve them, or do you seem to stall out frequently when one of you withdraws indefinitely? Do you regularly share with each other what God is teaching you through his word, church, and your personal devotional life? Do you pray together? Do you confess your sins to one another as needed, as often as sin arises? Would you prefer not to talk about sin at all, because it’s just too uncomfortable for both of you? None of us have a perfect marriage, or should expect it, but what holds us back too often is the presence of shame — the fear that I will be rejected if I am vulnerable with you. The way to fight shame, and be part of shame’s healing for one another, is to risk openness in these areas where we want to hide from one another. Help Your Spouse Heal We may have been hiding like Adam and Eve since the garden of Eden, but the hope is that God covers our shame and enables us to help cover one another’s shame. If redeemed marital intimacy is to be naked and unashamed (Genesis 2:25), the way to move towards this goal is to become part of healing shame for each other. We have the opportunity to do this in a more powerful way for our spouse than anyone else. We have the unique chance to see them at their most vulnerable, and to bestow grace and compassion instead of judgment and rejection. And the only way we can do this for one another is as we experience this grace from God to us in Jesus Christ. In Christ, we realize that on our own we stand unclothed before God — that our best attempts at righteousness, with the help of his Spirit, are like filthy rags — but that he has clothed us with the perfect righteousness of his own Son, the God-man, so that there is no condemnation nor any threat of separation from God’s love (Romans 8:1, 38–39). Name the Shame Emboldened by the gospel, and empowered by the Spirit, we then can be a reflection of this covering and healing grace for our spouse. We can begin by acknowledging (naming) the areas where shame has held us back from unashamed intimacy in our marriage. Start with yourself. Where have you unwittingly shamed your spouse? Name this, and express that you want to be a place of refuge and safety for your spouse  from  the shame instead of a contributor to it. Then with gentleness and love, speak about ways you’ve felt shame from your spouse, and offer a few practical ways that he or she could grow in becoming a safe place for you. For example, you might start with, “I have realized how much I tend to offer advice before I listen when you’re discussing a problem from work or home with me. I bet this contributes to a sense that I’m not always a safe person for you to go to when you’re struggling. I want to do better — will you help me?” You Are a Team Then, you could say something like the following to address the ways you’ve experienced shame from your spouse: “When you criticize [the meal I cooked/or my appearance/or how I haven’t been a spiritual leader in our relationship], it makes me doubt my value and your love. I know this isn’t what you mean, but it’s how my own struggle with shame twists your words. It would be great for you to help me fight against shame by refraining from such criticism and affirming your love for me. I’m well aware of the problem, and I want to do better in this area, but what will help me the most is to know that you’re praying with me and for me and that you support me through the struggle.” Remember, you and your spouse are a team. God has joined you together closer than any other human relationship will or can be, and naked and unashamed intimacy is how he created marriage to be. Through the empowering grace of Jesus Christ, we can walk towards more of this created intention of unashamed intimacy together.

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