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How To Hug A Porcupine (101 Ways To Love The Most Difficulty People In Your Life) How To Hug A Porcupine (101 Ways To Love The Most Difficulty People In Your Life)

How To Hug A Porcupine (101 Ways To Love The Most Difficulty People In Your Life) Order Printed Copy

  • Author: Debbie Joffe Ellis
  • Size: 1.7MB | 150 pages
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About the Book


"How to Hug a Porcupine" provides practical tips and advice on how to navigate challenging relationships with difficult people, such as those with negative attitudes or toxic behaviors. The book offers 101 strategies for approaching these individuals with empathy, understanding, and compassion, ultimately fostering healthier and more positive connections.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Dietrich Bonhoeffer "Cheap grace is preaching forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession. … Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate." "The time is fulfilled for the German people of Hitler. It is because of Hitler that Christ, God the helper and redeemer, has become effective among us. … Hitler is the way of the Spirit and the will of God for the German people to enter the Church of Christ." So spoke German pastor Hermann Gruner. Another pastor put it more succinctly: "Christ has come to us through Adolph Hitler." So despondent had been the German people after the defeat of World War I and the subsequent economic depression that the charismatic Hitler appeared to be the nation's answer to prayer—at least to most Germans. One exception was theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was determined not only to refute this idea but also to topple Hitler, even if it meant killing him. From pacifist to co-conspirator Bonhoeffer was not raised in a particularly radical environment. He was born into an aristocratic family. His mother was daughter of the preacher at the court of Kaiser Wilhelm II, and his father was a prominent neurologist and professor of psychiatry at the University of Berlin. All eight children were raised in a liberal, nominally religious environment and were encouraged to dabble in great literature and the fine arts. Bonhoeffer's skill at the piano, in fact, led some in his family to believe he was headed for a career in music. When at age 14, Dietrich announced he intended to become a minister and theologian, the family was not pleased. Bonhoeffer graduated from the University of Berlin in 1927, at age 21, and then spent some months in Spain as an assistant pastor to a German congregation. Then it was back to Germany to write a dissertation, which would grant him the right to a university appointment. He then spent a year in America, at New York's Union Theological Seminary, before returning to the post of lecturer at the University of Berlin. During these years, Hitler rose in power, becoming chancellor of Germany in January 1933, and president a year and a half later. Hitler's anti-Semitic rhetoric and actions intensified—as did his opposition, which included the likes of theologian Karl Barth, pastor Martin Niemoller, and the young Bonhoeffer. Together with other pastors and theologians, they organized the Confessing Church, which announced publicly in its Barmen Declaration (1934) its allegiance first to Jesus Christ: "We repudiate the false teaching that the church can and must recognize yet other happenings and powers, personalities and truths as divine revelation alongside this one Word of God. … " In the meantime, Bonhoeffer had written The Cost of Discipleship (1937), a call to more faithful and radical obedience to Christ and a severe rebuke of comfortable Christianity: "Cheap grace is preaching forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession. … Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate." During this time, Bonhoeffer was teaching pastors in an underground seminary, Finkenwalde (the government had banned him from teaching openly). But after the seminary was discovered and closed, the Confessing Church became increasingly reluctant to speak out against Hitler, and moral opposition proved increasingly ineffective, so Bonhoeffer began to change his strategy. To this point he had been a pacifist, and he had tried to oppose the Nazis through religious action and moral persuasion. Now he signed up with the German secret service (to serve as a double agent—while traveling to church conferences over Europe, he was supposed to be collecting information about the places he visited, but he was, instead, trying to help Jews escape Nazi oppression). Bonhoeffer also became a part of a plot to overthrow, and later to assassinate, Hitler. As his tactics were changing, he had gone to America to become a guest lecturer. But he couldn't shake a feeling of responsibility for his country. Within months of his arrival, he wrote theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, "I have made a mistake in coming to America. I must live through this difficult period in our national history with the Christian people of Germany. I will have no right to participate in the reconstruction of Christian life in Germany after the war if I do not share the trials of this time with my people." Bonhoeffer, though privy to various plots on Hitler's life, was never at the center of the plans. Eventually his resistance efforts (mainly his role in rescuing Jews) was discovered. On an April afternoon in 1943, two men arrived in a black Mercedes, put Bonhoeffer in the car, and drove him to Tegel prison. Radical reflections Bonhoeffer spent two years in prison, corresponding with family and friends, pastoring fellow prisoners, and reflecting on the meaning of "Jesus Christ for today." As the months progressed, be began outlining a new theology, penning enigmatic lines that had been inspired by his reflections on the nature of Christian action in history. "God lets himself be pushed out of the world on to the cross," he wrote. "He is weak and powerless in the world, and that is precisely the way, the only way, in which he is with us and helps us. [The Bible] … makes quite clear that Christ helps us, not by virtue of his omnipotence, but by virtue of his weakness and suffering. … The Bible directs man to God's powerlessness and suffering; only the suffering God can help." In another passage, he said, "To be a Christian does not mean to be religious in a particular way, to make something of oneself (a sinner, a penitent, or a saint) on the basis of some method or other, but to be a man—not a type of man, but the man that Christ creates in us. It is not the religious act that makes the Christian, but participation in the sufferings of God in the secular life." Eventually, Bonhoeffer was transferred from Tegel to Buchenwald and then to the extermination camp at Flossenbürg. On April 9, 1945, one month before Germany surrendered, he was hanged with six other resisters. A decade later, a camp doctor who witnessed Bonhoeffer's hanging described the scene: "The prisoners … were taken from their cells, and the verdicts of court martial read out to them. Through the half-open door in one room of the huts, I saw Pastor Bonhoeffer, before taking off his prison garb, kneeling on the floor praying fervently to his God. I was most deeply moved by the way this lovable man prayed, so devout and so certain that God heard his prayer. At the place of execution, he again said a prayer and then climbed the steps to the gallows, brave and composed. His death ensued in a few seconds. In the almost 50 years that I have worked as a doctor, I have hardly ever seen a man die so entirely submissive to the will of God." Bonhoeffer's prison correspondence was eventually edited and published as Letters and Papers from Prison, which inspired much controversy and the "death of God" movement of the 1960s (though Bonhoeffer's close friend and chief biographer, Eberhard Bethge, said Bonhoeffer implied no such thing). His Cost of Discipleship, as well as Life Together (about Christian community, based on his teaching at the underground seminary), have remained devotional classics.

the courage you need in life’s uncertainty

“Jump! I’ll catch you!” When my son was young, getting him from the side of the pool into the water was difficult. His eyes darted side to side, quickly losing confidence, as his imagination surmised all the horrors associated with jumping. Only when I could get him to fix his attention on me would he find the confidence to bend his knees and spring off the side of the pool. Like my son, we are regularly confronted with situations that are overwhelming, unknown, or threatening. What does it look like for us to spring with confidence into every situation that the Lord brings into our lives? Four Ways to Walk in Faith Isaiah 7 tells the story of a king in crisis. When the Judean King Ahaz heard that Syria and Israel created an alliance to withstand the advancing Assyrian threat, his heart shook with fear (Isaiah 7:2). Seeking to strengthen their hand against Assyria, the Syro-Ephraimite coalition intended to use military force to depose Ahaz and coerce Judah to join them, as well. Ahaz responded to the imminent threat like a good king. He inspected the city’s water supply. How long can the city withstand a siege? Ahaz had been conditioned to believe that military threats require military responses. Yet, God responds to Ahaz by sending the prophet Isaiah, who relayed four commands from the Lord, each of which recalls other parts of the Old Testament: be careful, be quiet, do not fear, do not let your heart be faint. These four commands echo down the halls of Israel’s collective memory with the intention of reminding Ahaz of the provisions of faith. These commands are helpful for us too as we fight for faith amidst the challenges of our lives. 1. Be Mindful Moses instructed the Israelites  before  they entered the Promised Land: they will live in houses they did not build, drink wine from vineyards they did not plant, eat until they are full. But, Moses warns them in Deuteronomy 6:12, “take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” At the moment of crisis, God acknowledged that Ahaz’s battle was not just outside the city walls, but also in his mind. It was essential for Ahaz to remember who he was and the history he had with God. In the same way, during times of uncertainty, cultivating memory and identity as those who are in Christ is essential for accessing the resources of faith to respond to present challenges. 2. Be Quiet This is an important theme in Isaiah. In Isaiah 30:15, God says, “In quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” Quietness in Isaiah does not mean the absence of noise, but the absence of agitation. In fact,  peace  and  joyful shouting  are themes that merge together in Isaiah 14:7 and 55:12. At the moment of crisis, Ahaz needed to find calm and certain confidence in God — something his water supply could never fully provide. 3. Do Not Fear The phrase recalls God’s providence, promises, and purposes. God uses these words when he appears to Abram, Moses, Joshua, and Elijah. It may seem trite to tell Ahaz not to fear. But the rationale is implicit: God was with him, for him, and had made promises to him. Ahaz, then, needed to respond on the basis of that conviction. Similarly, I need to recalibrate my perspective around God when faced with uncertain circumstances. John Oswalt summarizes, “If we can believe that the transcendent One is really immanent, and the immanent One truly transcendent, then there is reason to live courageously and unselfishly” ( Isaiah,  211). 4. Do Not Faint This is an exact quotation from Deuteronomy 20:3–4, where Moses prepares the Israelites for facing their enemies in battle. The priest was to come to the front of the line of soldiers and say, “let not your heart faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of them, for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you.” At the moment of crisis, with a mind that remembers, a soul free from agitation, and a renewed conviction that God is  for  me and  with  me, I can respond with courageous faith. A Picture of Courageous Faith In southwest Rwanda, along the shores of Lake Kivu, is a peninsula, where missionaries from the region have gathered annually since 1942 for spiritual renewal. On the far end of the peninsula is a cliff, into which thrill-seeking missionaries from a previous generation lodged a long, rigid, slab of wood — called “the plank” — thirty feet off the surface of the water. I have approached the plank many times. I stand looking, hearing my children behind me. “Come on, Dad!” “He won’t jump!” I am distracted by local children gathering in canoes to watch. I think about others who have jumped — and hurt themselves. I feel certain that I will fall off the cliff by even getting near the plank! I have never jumped. I have a friend named Jeff, who does not blink at the threats imposed by the plank. He steps onto the plank, walks a few paces, pulls himself up into an overhanging tree, climbs even higher, turns backward, and launches into a backflip as he springs out over the water. This is a picture of how I want to live — not carelessly, but confidently — springing with confidence into every situation that the Lord brings into my life — not simply conditioned to respond according to my own resources, but convinced that the provisions of faith provide all that I need to respond with confidence in any situation.

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