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About the Book
"Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow is a Christian self-help book that explores the causes of anxiety and offers practical advice on how to trust God and find peace in the midst of life's uncertainties. Through personal stories and biblical wisdom, the author encourages readers to surrender their worries and fears to God and experience the peace that comes from a deeper faith in Him.
Lilias Trotter
Long before the concept of the 10-40 window was invented or became a popular term in missions circles, a thirty-four-year-old promising artist named Isabella Lilias Trotter (1853â1928) landed in North Africa in 1888 along with two of her friends. They had neither mission agency support nor training but immediately began studying the Arabic language with the intention of sharing the gospel as widely as they could for as long as they could.
For the next forty years, this creative, dynamic woman poured out her life, her artistic abilities, and her linguistic skills to make the gospel known amid many difficulties. Her journals tell of her daily experience of desperately depending on the divine resources of the Holy Spirit.[1]
âThe life of Lilias Trotter challenges the worldâs meaning of success, potential, and fulfillment.â
The life of Lilias Trotter challenges the worldâs meaning of success, potential, and fulfillment. Through Trotterâs art, writings, and life story come glimpses of Christâs power in the prayers of his child and faithful witness. Her day-by-day, decade-by-decade journals reveal a life characterized by trust in her Savior and inward rest in his power for victory over sin and darkness.
Her success should not be measured numerically, but rather in the fact that Lilias succeeded in learning about prayer and love for Muslims. Her life attests to the exceeding value of knowing and preferring Christ above all else. Her personal devotion to Jesus Christ is exemplary and instructive not only for aspiring missionaries but for all who desire to live wholeheartedly for the glory of God.
Laying down Her Life
Lilias was born into a wealthy Victorian family, and they considered the value of walking humbly before God to be of first importance. A talented artist, she attracted the attention of John Ruskin, the noted Victorian art critic and Oxford lecturer. Some of her paintings and leaves from her sketchbook can be found in the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford, England.
In 1874, Lilias attended a six-day convention that emphasized the importance of the daily application of Scripture in her quest for deeper intimacy with God. She experienced a renewed vitality in personal and corporate worship. Her call to wholeheartedly follow Christ in obedience came during a call to prayer. She wrote of this in her journal: âTo bear His name with all that is wrapped up in it of fragrance and healing and power, to enter into His eternal purpose, is the calling for which it is well worth counting all things as loss.â [2]
From then on, rather than invest her extraordinary life in the things of this world, Lilias was compelled by a strong yearning for her Savior and the world he loves. In radical obedience, she left the promising artistic career that Ruskin offered her and the comforts of England for a life of missionary service in Algeria.
âIn radical obedience, she left a promising artistic career and the comforts of England for a life of missionary service in Algeria.â
Praying with Passion
Trotterâs intercession for Algerians provides inspiration to those who desire to see all peoples worship God. She spent lengthy, frequent sessions of retreat in the hills overlooking the city of Algiers. She prayed and turned her eyes on Jesus, his Word, and his revelation in creation. As she watched the broken waves pushed by the heart of the ocean crashing on the shore of the bay, she waited with faith to see âGodâs high tideâ sweep across the Muslim world.
Lilias was a contemporary of the great missionary to Muslims, Samuel Zwemer. She learned much from him about the power of prayer to pierce the veil of darkness shrouding the Muslim hearts and to engage in the spiritual battle for souls of those held captive by the adversary. Her example of perseverance in prayer is an encouragement for those today who are interceding for Godâs high tide to fill the earth and sweep away the veil of darkness.
The writings of Lilias Trotter recognize the work of the adversary to hold nonbelievers captive through their unbelief and his power to keep the life-giving truth from reaching them. She pled for Christians to ask God to do a new work among âhard-bound peoples and to generate a fire of the Holy Spirit to melt away though icy barriers and set a host free!â [3]
Proclaiming Godâs Word in Power
Courageous and innovative in her witness to the Algerians, Lilias observed and learned to witness effectively to her neighbors. In 1919, Trotter began writing tracts for Nile Mission Press. She assisted a Swedish missionary in translation and editing the gospels of Luke and John in colloquial Arabic, âinto a language that the Arab mother could read to her child.â[4] She also wrote stories in parable form that appealed to her audience, and she creatively illustrated them in Eastern style, the results of which gained wide circulation.
The story of Lilias Trotter continues to inspire and mobilize those who long to worship around the throne of Christ with all peoples. She laid down her life and talents and allowed Christ to use her in creative and innovative ways. Her life was one of passionate prayer, dependence on Godâs overcoming power, and confidence in proclaiming the life-giving Word of God. Her story encourages others to follow in her footsteps and consecrate their life to the âhardest work and the darkest sinners.â [5]
Paula Hemphill and her husband, Ken, have shared fifty years of ministry together. The stories of missionary pioneers in North Africa captured Paulaâs heart as a young pastorâs wife, calling her to a lifetime of prayer for Muslim peoples. The Hemphills have three married daughters and twelve grandchildren.
Endnotes: For more on Lilias Trotter, see Many Beautiful Things: the Life and Vision of Lilias Trotter (Oxvision Films, 2016) or read the excellent biography by Miriam Huffman Rockness, A Passion for the Impossible (Discovery House, 2003).
[1] One journal entry later became the inspiration for âTurn Your Eyes upon Jesus,â a popular hymn written by Helen H. Lemmel: âTurn your soulâs full vision on Jesus and look and look at Him, and a strange dimness will come over all that is apart from Him and the divine attributes by which Godâs saints are made, even in the twentieth century, will lay hold of you.â (I.R. Stewart, The Love that Was Stronger: Lilias Trotter of Algiers (London: Lutterworth Press, 1958), 54.)
hero in an unmarked grave - the unusual modesty of john calvin
On May 27, 1564, just after eight oâclock in the evening, a nurse urgently summoned Theodore Beza (1519â1605) to Calvinâs bedside. âWe found he had already died,â Calvinâs friend and fellow pastor later wrote. âOn that day, then, at the same time with the setting sun, this splendid luminary was withdrawn from us.â 1  Calvin was 54 years old. Calvinâs death sent a shock wave throughout Geneva and beyond. Beza writes, âThat night and the following day there was a general lamentation throughout the city . . . all lamenting the loss of one who was, under God, a common parent and comfort.â He records that two days later âthe entire cityâ gathered at the St. Pierre Cathedral to honor their beloved pastor. Despite Calvinâs prominence, the funeral was unusually simple, âwith no extraordinary pomp.â 2  But Calvinâs burial was particularly unusual. Unmarked Grave Eighteen years earlier, on February 18, 1546, fellow Reformer Martin Luther died at the age of 63. As was common practice for ministers, Lutherâs remains were interred inside the church where he had faithfully served. His casket lies in Wittenbergâs Castle Church, near the pulpit, seven feet below the floor of the nave. Lutherâs successor and fellow Reformer, Philip Melanchthon (1490â1560), is buried beside him. So also William Farel (1489â1565), who first called Calvin to Geneva in 1536, is buried in the cathedral of NeuchĂątel, where he spent the final years of his ministry. When Calvinâs friend and successor Theodore Beza died in 1605, he was buried next to the pulpit of St. Pierre, the Genevan church in which he and Calvin ministered together. But Calvinâs remains lie elsewhere. Rather than being interred in St. Pierre, Calvinâs body was carried outside the city wall to a marshy burial ground for commoners called Plainpalais. With close friends in attendance, Calvinâs body was wrapped in a simple shroud, enclosed in a rough casket, and lowered into the earth. Beza writes that Calvinâs plot was unlisted and, âas he [had] commanded, without any gravestone.â 3 Why did Calvin command that he be buried, contrary to common practice, in an unmarked grave? Some speculate that he wanted to discourage religious pilgrims from visiting his resting place or to prevent accusations from the Roman church that he desired veneration as a saint. 4  But the answer lies somewhere deeper â in Calvinâs understanding of Christian modesty. Forgotten Meaning of Modesty When we speak of modesty today, we most often mean dressing or behaving in such a way as to avoid impropriety or indecency. But modesty more generally refers to the quality of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of oneself. For centuries, the church understood the connection. Immodest dress was not simply ostentatious or sexually suggestive; it reflected an overemphasis on appearance. As Jesus warned, outward appearance can mask impiety (Matthew 6:16) or pride (Luke 18:12). This is why both Gentile women converts in Ephesus and the Jewish Christians addressed in Hebrews are urged to consider how their outward appearance relates to the disposition of the heart. Excessive adornment could be evidence of self-importance (1 Timothy 2:9). Acceptable worship requires a posture of reverence, not pretension (Hebrews 12:28). Thus, a modest person represents himself neither too highly nor too meanly because he understands both the dignity and the humility of being transformed by the grace of God. âModesty is simply the outward reflection of true Christian humility.â Modesty, then, is simply the outward reflection of true Christian humility. It obliterates pride by embracing the reality that a Christian is both creaturely and beloved. In this light, self-importance becomes absurd. Grandiosity becomes laughable. Celebrity becomes monstrous. We Are Not Our Own For Calvin, the gospel radically reshapes our view of self. As those created in Godâs image, provisioned by his goodness, redeemed by his mercy, transformed by his grace, and called to his mission, those who belong to Christ no longer live for themselves. âNow the great thing is this,â Calvin writes, âwe are consecrated and dedicated to God in order that we may thereafter think, speak, meditate, and do, nothing except to his glory.â Calvin continues, If we, then, are not our own but the Lordâs, it is clear what error we must flee and whither we must direct all the acts of our life. We are not our own : let not our reason nor our will, therefore, sway our plans and deeds. We are not our own : let us not therefore see it as our goal to seek what is expedient for us according to the flesh. We are not our own : in so far as we can, let us therefore forget ourselves and all that is ours. Conversely, we are Godâs : let us therefore live for him and die for him. We are Godâs : let his wisdom and will therefore rule all our actions. We are Godâs : let all the parts of our life accordingly strive toward him as our only lawful goal. Oh how much has that man profited who, having been taught that he is not his own, has taken away dominion and rule from his own reason that he may yield it to God! For, as consulting our self-interest is the pestilence that most effectively leads to our destruction, so the sole haven of salvation is to be wise in nothing through ourselves but to follow the leading of the Lord alone . 5 âModesty blossoms when we experience the freedom from having to prove ourselves to God or one another.â Modesty and humility flow from a heart transformed by the Spirit of Christ. âAs soon as we are convinced that God cares for us,â Calvin writes, âour minds are easily led to patience and humility.â 6  The Spirit shapes us with a kind of moderation that âgives the preference to othersâ and that guards us from being âeasily thrown into agitation.â 7  Modesty blossoms when we experience the freedom from having to prove ourselves to God or one another. âModesty, His Constant Friendâ Calvinâs life reflected this reality. Despite the doors that were opened to him through his writing and network of connections, he was committed to âstudiously avoiding celebrity.â 8  When the Institutes  was published in 1536, he was so successful in his object to ânot acquire fameâ that no one in Basel knew that he was its author. For the rest of his life, wherever he went, he took care to âconceal that I was the author of that performance.â 9  Calvin even sought to avoid a wider ministry in Geneva, having âresolved to continue in the same privacy and obscurity.â He was drawn into the limelight only when William Farel warned him âwith a dreadful imprecationâ that turning down the post would be refusing Godâs call to service. 10  In brief autobiographical comments he wrote the year that he died, we see a glimmer of his own surprise over Godâs sovereign hand through his life. God so led me about through different turnings and changes that he never permitted me to rest in any place, until, in spite of my natural disposition, he brought me forth to public notice. . . . I was carried, I know not how, as it were by force to the Imperial assemblies, where, willing or unwilling, I was under the necessity of appearing before the eyes of many. 11 It is no surprise, then, that a few days before his death, Calvin exhorted his friends to not be those who âostentatiously display themselves and, from overweening confidence, insist that all their opinions should be approved by others.â Instead, he pleaded with them to âconduct themselves with modesty, keeping far aloof from all haughtiness of mind.â 12  For Beza, Calvinâs modesty â forged by his vision of Godâs glory, Christâs redeeming love, and the Spiritâs animating power â was his defining characteristic. After Calvinâs burial, Beza captured it in verse: Why in this humble and unnoticed tomb Is Calvin laid â the dread of falling Rome; Mournâd by the good, and by the wicked fearâd By all who knew his excellence revered? From whom evân virtueâs self might virtue learn, And young and old its value may discern? âTwas modesty, his constant friend on earth, That laid this stone, unsculptured with a name; Oh! happy ground, enrichâd with Calvinâs worth, More lasting far than marble is thy fame! 13 Free to Be Forgotten In old Geneva, on the grounds of the college Calvin founded, stands an immense stone memorial to four leaders of the Protestant Reformation. At its center are towering reliefs of Calvin, Beza, Farel, and John Knox (1513â1572). Calvin would surely detest it. But the monument is a metaphor. We live in a culture that fears obscurity and irrelevance. We measure ourselves against others and build our own platforms in the hope that we will not be forgotten. We attempt to distinguish ourselves at the expense of the humility and modesty that honors Christ. Calvin would have us be free from such striving. For however anyone may be distinguished by illustrious endowments, he ought to consider with himself that they have not been conferred upon him that he might be self-complacent, that he might exalt himself, or even that he might hold himself in esteem. Let him, instead of this, employ himself in correcting and detecting his faults, and he will have abundant occasion for humility. In others, on the other hand, he will regard with honor whatever there is of excellences and will, by means of love, bury their faults. The man who will observe this rule, will feel no difficulty in preferring others before himself. And this, too, Paul meant when he added, that they ought not to have everyone a regard to themselves, but to their neighbors, or that they ought not to be devoted to themselves. Hence it is quite possible that a pious man, even though he should be aware that he is superior, may nevertheless hold others in greater esteem. 14 We may rightly regard Calvin as a hero of the faith, but he didnât ultimately see himself that way. Humility had taught him to walk modestly before God and others â and, in the end, the freedom to lie down in a forgotten grave. Theodore Beza, âThe Life of John Calvinâ in Tracts Related to the Reformation  (Edinburgh: Calvin Translation Society, 1844), 1:xcv. ⩠Beza, Tracts , 1:xcvi. ⩠Beza, Tracts , 1:xcvi. ⩠Eighteenth-century guidebooks indeed list the disused Plainpalais cemetery as an important stop for tourists, though they warn that pilgrims will search for Calvinâs resting place in vain. By the nineteenth century, keepers of the burial ground staked out a âlikely-enoughâ site for Calvinâs grave (complete with a rudimentary marker) simply to avoid the irritation of being so frequently asked. ⩠John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion , ed. John T. McNeill, trans. Ford Lewis Battles (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2011), 3.7.1 (emphasis mine). ⩠John Calvin, Commentaries on the Catholic Epistles , trans. John Owen (Edinburgh: T. Constable,1855), 149. ⩠John Calvin, Commentaries on the Epistles of Paul the Apostle to the Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians , trans. John Pringle (Edinburgh: T. Constable, 1851) 52â53. ⩠John Calvin, Commentary on the Psalms , trans. James Anderson (Edinburgh: Edinburg Printing Company, 1845), 1:xli, xlii. ⩠Calvin, Psalms , 1:xlii. ⩠Calvin, Psalms , 1:xlii. ⩠Calvin, Psalms , 1:xli, xliii. ⩠Beza, Tracts , 1:xci. ⩠Beza was widely known for his literary works. As a humanist, he became famous for his collection of Latin poems in Juvenilia , published just before his conversion in 1548. He continued to write poetry, satires, and dramas until the end of his life. Francis Sisbonâs nineteenth-century translation attempts to capture the sense of the Latin in a more familiar poetic form (Theodore Beza, The Life of John Calvin , trans. Francis Sibson, [Philadelphia: J. Whetham, 1836], 94). For the original text, see Calvin and Beza, Tracts , 1:xcvi. ⩠Calvin, Commentaries on the Epistles of Paul , 53. â©