Positive Discipline For Teenagers Order Printed Copy
- Author: Jane Nelsen And Lynn Lott
- Size: 4.49MB | 285 pages
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About the Book
"Positive Discipline for Teenagers" presents practical and effective strategies for parents to build mutual respect, cooperation, and communication with their teenage children. The book offers ways to empower teenagers, set boundaries, and foster a positive and healthy relationship between parents and adolescents.
Helen Roseveare
“If Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for him.” That was her mission’s motto. In 1953, Helen sailed for the Congo with hopes of serve Christ as a medical missionary with WEC (Worldwide Evangelization Crusade). For so many years she’d dreamed of being a missionary. As a young girl, she’d hear stories of her aunt and uncle’s experiences on the mission field, and now she was eager to have her own stories to tell.
In 1925, Helen Roseveare was born in England. Because education was a high priority for her father, Helen was sent to a prestigious all girls school when she was 12. After that, she went to Cambridge. It was during her time in college that she became a Christian, truly understanding the gospel for the first time. She left her Anglo-Catholic background and became an evangelical. Her focus was to finish her medical degree and prepare herself for the mission field.
After she became a doctor, Helen sailed to minister in the Congo. She was highly intelligent and efficient, but her role as a woman created struggles with her fellow missionaries and nationals. In that time period, single missionaries were seen as second-class citizens of the mission station. In the Congo, the medical needs were overwhelming. She couldn’t just stand by and watch all the suffering around her. She was determined to make a difference. She dreamed of establishing a training center where nurses would be taught the Bible and basic medicine and then sent back to their villages to handle routine cases, teach preventive medicine, and serve as lay evangelists. She didn’t have approval from her colleagues, who believed that medical training for nationals was not a valid use of time, evangelism and discipleship were more important.
Despite the conflict with them, after only two years after arriving in the Congo, she had build a combination hospital/ training center in Ibambi, and her first four students had passed their government medical exams. Her colleagues weren’t as excited about her progress as she was. They felt that she was wasting time, so they decided that she would better serve the Congo by relocating in Nebobongo, living in an old leprosy camp that had become overgrown by the jungle. Helen argued that she must stay and continue the nursing training in Ibambi, but they insisted that she move. It was a major setback, but she went. Starting from scratch again, she built another hospital there and continued training African nurses. Still, she was strong-willed and seemed to be a threat to many of her male colleagues. In 1957, they decided to relocate John Harris, a young British doctor, and his wife to Nebobongo to make him Helen’s superior. Dr. Harris even took charge of leading the Bible class that she’d taught. She was devastated. She’d been her own boss for too long, and although she tried to let go of control, she just couldn’t. Everything that had been hers was now his. This resulted in tension between them, of course. Her independence was her greatest strength, but also a definite weakness. She did not know how to submit to imperfect leadership. In 1958, after over a year of struggling with who was in control in Nebobongo, Helen left for England for a furlough. She was disillusioned with missionary work and felt like she might not ever go back to the Congo.
Back in England, she really struggled with why she had all these issues between herself and the male leaders in the Congo. She began to convince herself that her problem was her singleness. What she needed was a doctor-husband to work with her and be on her side during the power struggles! She didn’t think that was too much to ask. So, she asked God for a husband, and told Him that she wouldn’t go back as a missionary until she was married. She met a young doctor and decided he would be the one. (She wasn’t very patient in waiting on the Lord’s timing.) She bought new clothes, permed her hair, and resigned from the mission, all to try and win his love. He did care for her, but not enough to marry her. Helen was heartbroken, mostly because she’d wasted so much time and money trying to force her plan into reality - without God.
Still single, Helen returned to the mission and left for Congo in 1960. It was a tense time for that country. They had been seeking independence for a long time, so a huge civil war was on the verge of beginning. Many missionaries left because the risk was so high. Helen had no plans of going home. She believed that God had truly called her back to Congo and that He would protect her if she stayed. She was joined by a few other single women, who made it difficult for the men, they didn’t want to look like sissies. She was given charge of the medical base in Nebobongo because John Harris and his wife left on furlough. She had so many opportunities to minister in the midst of the turmoil. She was sure that God had her right where He wanted her to be. She continued to learn to see God in the details of her life, to trust him more fully. She had been coming closer to total trust in God all of her life, between bouts of depression, sometimes feeling that she was not really a Christian because she was capable of spells of anger and bitterness and other sins. “I was unable to reach the standard I myself had set, let alone God’s. Try as I would, I met only frustration in this longing to achieve, to be worthy.” She came to recognize that hatred of sin is a gift of the Holy Spirit.
Rebels were gaining strength, and there were reports of missionaries being attacked. Helen endured a burglary and an attempted poisoning, but always in her mind the situation was improving. She felt that she had to stay, because there was so much need and so many people depending on her. On August 15, the rebels took control of Nebobongo, and Helen was in captivity for the next 5 months. On the night of October 29, Helen was overpowered by rebel soldiers in her little bungalow. She tried to escape, but they found her and dragged her to her feet, struck her over the head and shoulders, flung her to the ground, kicked her, struck her over and over again. She was pushed back into her house and raped brutally without mercy. Helen suffered more sexual brutality before her release. God used this in her life to minister to other single women missionaries who feared that they’d lost their purity due to a rape and thus their salvation. Helen knew that her relationship with God had not been damaged. She had not failed God in any way because of the rapes. Finally, on December 31, 1964 she was rescued. Helen had a sense of joy and relief, but also a sense of deep sorrow as she heard of many of her friends’ martyrdom.
Helen returned to Africa for the third time in March of 1966. She served for 7 more years, but it was full of turmoil and disappointment. The Congo had changed since the war. There was a new spirit of independence and nationalism. They no longer respected the doctor who’d sacrificed so much for them. Helen left Africa in 1973 with a broken spirit. Her 20 years of service in Africa ended in defeat and discouragement.
When she got home, she went through a very, very lonely period in her life. She turned to God. He was all she had. Instead of bitterness there was a new spirit of humility and a new appreciation for what Jesus had done for her on the cross. God was molding her for her next ministry. She became an internationally acclaimed spokes-woman for Christian missions. Her candid honesty was refreshing in a profession known as one of super sainthood. Helen mobilized people by showing them that God used imperfect people with real struggles to be his ambassadors to the unreached world.
By Rebecca HIckman
SOURCES
Roseveare, Helen: Give Me This Mountain (1966)
Roseveare, Helen: He Gave Us a Valley (1976)
Tucker, Ruth A.: From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya
A Letter to Younger Me About Money
If you listen to anyone in their senior years long enough, you’ll eventually hear something like, “If I knew then what I know now . . . ” But seniors aren’t the only ones who feel that way. At age thirty, I find myself already saying the same thing about money. Recently, I left a financial planning firm after working as a creative director and wealth coach. I learned more in one year about financial stewardship than I had learned in my first 29 years of life. While working at the firm, I discovered the sorry state of my family’s finances. I knew we weren’t great with money, but I didn’t realize the extent of our financial ignorance and problems. I also discovered that I wasn’t alone. After six months at the firm, I was able to counsel clients who needed basic financial coaching, and it wasn’t pretty. Regardless of income, most were living paycheck to paycheck, and they were up to their eyeballs in debt. Today, twenty-somethings are bombarded with opportunities to make poor financial decisions. At the relatively young age of thirty, I often find myself saying, “I wish I knew at twenty what I know today about money.” If I could have a conversation with my twenty-year-old self about money, here are three things I would tell him. 1. Money cannot buy you happiness. Throughout my twenties, I viewed money as the solution to most of my problems. This belief dictated how I spent my time and, ultimately, my earnings. At one point, I had seven jobs while pursuing a master’s degree. But I was still broke and in debt, and I never finished my studies. Rather than a source of joy, money became a cruel master (Matthew 6:24). What I’ve discovered is that my experience is all too common. The sad thing is that so few of us seem to learn from our mistakes. We keep trying to pursue happiness through more money. Some will point to studies that suggest there’s a correlation between money and happiness. One article reported that each additional dollar earned per year reduces people’s negative emotions — but that effect disappears at about $200,000 annually. In other words, money is a limited help at best, and certainly doesn’t buy lasting happiness, as any honest observer of wealthy people can quickly perceive. Ultimately, money is a means to an end. A dollar or a piece of gold is only as valuable as what we can trade for it. And money is dangerous. It gives the illusion of granting access to anything. So we can easily elevate it to the throne that should be reserved only for our ultimate provider: God, the giver of all good things. So I would tell my twenty-year-old self: Don’t try to buy happiness with money. This would have dramatically changed my finances, especially with regard to debt. 2. Don’t borrow money carelessly. In my twenties, I borrowed foolishly, and I’m still paying for it. From student loans to credit cards, I went into debt without giving it a second thought. Debt allowed me to get what I wanted when I wanted it. And the best part? I didn’t have to wait or ask for permission. This is the great temptation every twenty-something faces in an age when money is so easily borrowed. The Bible doesn’t condemn debt as inherently sinful, but it clearly warns us that money shouldn’t be borrowed haphazardly. And Scripture also tells us that when we incur a debt, it is evil not to pay what we owe. Romans 13:8 says, “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another” (NIV). And Psalm 37:21 says, “The wicked borrows and does not repay, but the righteous shows mercy and gives” (NKJV). If I could counsel my twenty-year-old self on debt, here’s what I would say: Don’t borrow money unless you absolutely have to. There is too much at stake to borrow money without giving it careful thought. If you’re considering a credit card or a loan, count the costs, and beware of the risks. And once in debt, I would say, Make a plan to eliminate it as soon as possible. 3. Save, give, and spend money proactively. “A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t and even brags about it!” (Proverbs 13:16 TLB). One of the worst mistakes I made with money was failing to plan wisely. When I received a paycheck or extra cash, I lacked direction. Like the fool in that Proverb, I was proud that I didn’t budget. I absolutely hated the idea. Budgeting felt intimidating and seemed like a lot of work. Besides, as long as I didn’t plan, I could remain in denial that I was a poor steward of the resources God had given me. I could pretend I was giving and spending wisely and no one could confirm or deny it. And I could make spending decisions based mostly on my feelings. This felt like freedom, but it wasn’t. Now I would say this to my foolish twenty-year-old self: Making a plan for your money may help give you dominion over it. Being planless is not being free; being planless makes you a slave to money. But a good financial plan turns money into your slave to serve what you really value. You will be empowered to save, give, and spend money proactively rather than reactively. It’s Not Too Late to Change Hindsight is indeed twenty-twenty. And it’s not like I now manage money perfectly. Even though I understand more now how to handle money, I don’t always act on my knowledge. But over the last year, I’ve come a long way. And if I can’t help my twenty-year-old self, I hope I can help others avoid the mistakes I made, or help them make changes like I’ve had to make. No matter how old we are, it’s not too late to correct our course. We’re never too old to stop trying to buy happiness with money, or to get out of debt as soon as possible, or to begin governing money instead of being governed by money. We want to serve God and not money (Matthew 6:24). But the less intentional we are with our money, the more likely we will end up serving it, for good stewardship is impossible without intentionality. Article by Phillip Holmes