Others like his needs, her needs Features >>
I'm Married Now!
Raising Kingdom Kids
Daddy Loves His Girls
Courtship After Marriage
Her Daughter's Dream
-%20Karen%20Kingsbury-160.webp)
Forever
Why Men Dont Listen And Women Can't Read Maps
The Seven Levels Of Intimacy: The Art Of Loving And The Joy Of Being Loved
10 Things Every Minister's Wife Needs To Know
Boundaries In Marriage
This has been a pure blessing, I felt called by the Spirit to pick this book up at my local library, and He wanted me to read this to prepare me, I now have a completely transformed view on relationships and how to love, in my understanding this book has the type of godly love and affection He wanted His children to have.
- seth jackson (3 months ago)
About the Book
"His Needs, Her Needs" by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr. is a marriage counseling book that explores the concept of emotional needs in relationships. The book outlines five primary emotional needs for both men and women and provides practical advice on how married couples can meet each other's needs to build a strong and lasting marriage. It also emphasizes the importance of communication, understanding, and mutual respect in creating a fulfilling and harmonious relationship.
Hannah More
Beyond any doubt, Hannah More was the most influential female member of the Society for Effecting the Abolition of the African Slave Trade. She was educated at Bristol, an important slave-trading town, and began to publish her writing in the 1760s, while she was still a teenager. Her first play, The Inflexible Captive, was staged at Bath in 1775. Later in the 1770s, and for much of the 1780s, she spent time in London and made the acquaintance of many important political and society figures, including Samuel Johnson, Edmund Burke, and Elizabeth Montagu. Her play Percy was produced by David Garrick in 1777, and Fatal Falsehood was staged in 1779, but she came to regard the theatre as morally wrong, especially after the death of her mentors; Garrick and Johnson. She turned to religious writing, beginning with her Sacred Dramas in 1782. In 1784-5, she 'discovered' Ann Yearsley, the so-called 'poetical milkmaid of Bristol', whose poems More helped to publish, although the two later fell out.
In the 1780s, More widened her circle to include religious and philanthropic figures, including John Newton, Beilby Porteus and William Wilberforce. In the summer of 1786, she spent time with Sir Charles and Lady Margaret Middleton at the their home in Teston in Kent. Among their guests were the local vicar James Ramsay and a young Thomas Clarkson, both of whom were central to the early abolition campaign. More and Clarkson met again in Bristol in 1787, while he was on his fact-finding mission to the city, but they did not become close. However, in the same year More met Wilberforce, and their friendship was to become a deep and lasting one. More contributed much to the running of the newly-founded Abolition Society including, in February 1788, her publication of Slavery, a Poem which has been recognised as one of the more important slavery poems of the abolition period. Her relationship with members of the society, especially Wilberforce, was close. For example, she spent the summer of 1789 holidaying with Wilberforce in the Peak District - planning for the abolition campaign, at that time at its height, formed a great deal of their conversation.
By the mid-1790s, More had become closely involved with the 'Clapham Sect' of evangelical Christians, many of whom were involved in the abolition campaign. The group centred on Henry Thornton's home in Clapham and included Wilberforce, James Stephen, and Zachary Macaulay, among others. Throughout the 1790s, she wrote a number of religious tracts, known as the Cheap Repository Tracts, that eventually led to the formation of the Religious Tracts Society. Several of the Tracts oppose slavery and the slave trade, in particular, the poem The Sorrows of Yamba; or, The Negro Woman's Lamentation, which appeared in November 1795 and which was co-authored with Eaglesfield Smith. However, the tracts have also been noted for their encouragement of social quietism in an age of revolution. She continued to oppose slavery throughout her life, but at the time of the Abolition Bill of 1807, her health did not permit her to take as active a role in the movement as she had done in the late 1780s, although she maintained a correspondence with Wilberforce and others. In her later life, she dedicated much time to religious writing. Nevertheless, her most popular work was a novel, Coelebs in Search of a Wife, which appeared in two volumes in 1809 (and which ran to nine editions in 1809 alone). In the 1820s she grew gradually less well, and decreased - but did not entirely halt - the amount of writing she produced. On her death in 1833, she left more than ĂÂŁ30,000 to charities and religious societies (equivalent to about ĂÂŁ2,000,000 or $3,000,000 in 2004).
© Brycchan Carey 2004
âhappy wife, happy lifeâ - and other misleading advice to young husbands
The title read, âHow Do I Get My Husband to Be Less Passive?â Click. The author, a wife and clinical psychologist, addressed the common complaint that women of various ages bring to her: their husbands lacked passion for anything but the couch and the screen. These wives wanted to know how to get their men to do something other than stare at the television, laptop, or smartphone, and how to get them to initiate something other than physical intimacy. They wanted their men to plan dates, start conversations, play with the kids, stand up for themselves (at work) and for their wife (with the in-laws), or to show concern for daily decisions. The manly intentionality that had pursued these women during dating had dwindled in marriage. Age-Old Problem The complaint, of course, is nothing new. Paradise was lost when the first man took the easy path of appeasement in his marriage. The serpent hissed lies in her ear; he stood silently by. Instead of an uncomfortable moment with his wife, and then crushing the skull of her deceiver, he watched as she took a bite. Compromise bore twins, and he ate too (Genesis 3:6). âLasting joy in our marriages is found in living out the drama of Christ and his bride, not Adam and his.â And we see Adamâs passivity echoed in countless marriages today. The temptation to be emotionally and spiritually absent, when physically present, has merely changed hairstyles over time. The same unmanly repose still beckons men to recline in the passengerâs seat. God calls out to husbands today with the same question he asked in the garden: âAdam, where are you?â And where are we? Too often giving into the scheme that affords less responsibility and more opportunity to watch the game. Masculinity that leads through loving sacrifice  can feel like an endangered species. And some of the mantras given to me as a newly married man may have hurt, instead of helped, my enlistment into the active-duty husbandry put on display in Jesus Christ. Consider four naive, and easily misunderstood, words of counsel given to new husbands, even from well-meaning Christian brothers. âHappy Wife, Happy Lifeâ The advice could be redeemable. The husband should lavish his queen with love, finding a great deal of his joy in hers. And one could say it from an eternal perspective: Happy wife (in the Lord), happy life. But what is most often meant by this phrase cannot be missed: a manâs life is less miserable when his woman gets her way. Such deferment is tempting: no conflict, no unhappy bride, no blame. Just letting her have her way is much more comfortable than making unpopular decisions on weighty matters, that you think (and pray) are spiritually best for her and your family: Whether they be where your children go to school, what church you join, where you live next, when to have children, or countless difficult choices that require spiritual energy, courage, and faith. But Christ created men to initiate and bear responsibility. His glory is to sacrifice. His mission is to lead his wife and his family from the front, on his knees. Although his charge includes the flourishing of the wife, the health of our leadership does not depend solely upon the daily undulations of our brideâs earthly happiness, but on the consistency with which we obey our Master. You can have a happy, governing wife resulting in a shallow, resistance-free life, and end up with an unhappy Lord. In the end, a nearsighted âhappy wife, happy lifeâ mentality throws the toys in the closet to go outside and play. Happy wife, easier life  does not lead to happiness, but to a closet full of regret, bitterness, and selfishness, which we all must open eventually. It backfires on us, leaving even a growing number of unbelievers wondering how to get their men to be less passive. Lasting joy in our marriages is found in living out the drama of Christ and his bride, not Adam and his. âYour Spouse Is Your Best Friendâ âYou can have a happy, governing wife resulting in a shallow, resistance-free life, and end up with an unhappy Lord.â She is not just your BFF because marriage is not simply friendship . It isnât a symmetrical partnership in which the relational patterns are interchangeable. The elegance of the dance consists in the man leading assertively, lovingly, thoughtfully, and the woman following fearlessly, receptively, joyfully â which is much more than mere friendship. The dance is improper when the husband attempts to follow. Now, if we mean that she is the one person with whom you confide most, the one earthly person you treasure most, the one person with whom a day spent doing menial tasks is anything but wasted, then, yes, this is a glory. But our marriages are more than a flat partnership. The glory of a spouse is more than the glory of a friend. The miraculous event of God joining husband and wife together in a bond that none can break is a rose not to be hidden, even in the beautiful tulip-garden of friendship. The marriage drama enacts that of the Great Romance. This flower, by any other name, must smell distinctly sweet. To ballet is not to waltz. The moon is not the sun. The companion is not the spouse. âBe a Servant Leaderâ For sure, an aspect of this is incredibly right: Jesus came not to be served but to serve and give his life for many (Mark 10:45). That the husband should be like Jesus in such self-giving sacrifice is without question or asterisk. Being a servant leader is  great advice â when both words are kept together. Often, however, they are not. The paradox of servant leader  devolves, in some minds, into merely meaning servant : You sacrifice your convictions for any and all of her ambitions. You take on her calling, not because of exceptional circumstance but only because you wanted to lay your aspirations down for hers. You coddle her, never asking her to do anything that she does not already want to do â even if you think it best for her ultimate joy in the Lord. The good-intentioned servant (non)leader, in an honest attempt to love and serve his wife well, abdicates to a kind of service that undermines his call to be a husband and bear responsibility, take initiative, and feel the burden of the hardest decisions. I prefer sacrificial  leadership instead: âHusbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up  for herâ (Ephesians 5:25). It is a leadership that, while not relinquishing its responsibility or apologizing for its authority, sees leadership as a calling to inconvenience self first for the good of oneâs family and neighbor. âMarriage Is 50/50â Marriage, for the man especially, is not 50/50. Manhood doesnât require her to scratch your back before youâll scratch hers. Headship doesnât keep score. You donât go so far, and no farther, until she catches up. You donât limit your patience, kindness, gentleness, and goodness until she matches. A husbandâs love doesnât bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things only half the time . Husbands donât wait for reciprocation to initiate. âThe marriage drama enacts that of the Great Romance. This flower, by any other name, must smell distinctly sweet.â Jesus didnât wait for his bride to meet him halfway. His spouse didnât take half of the scourging or half of the cross. He, manly he, sacrificed all for her well-being â while she was yet a sinner. He gave all his life for hers. Nothing 50/50 about it. And sacrificial leadership is so happy in this love of Christ that we lay down our lives like he did â even when she isnât âholding up her end of things.â Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.  We do not bring home the paycheck and expect the wife to pick up the remaining fifty percent of the relational tab with the kids. Marriages that start 50/50, often end 50/50 â splitting half of oneâs assets in divorce. Play the Man You Are âWhy did you wish me milder? Would you have me false to my nature? Rather say I, play the man I am.â âCoriolanus Our feminist-influenced, Bible-ignoring, headship-shaming society wishes real men to be milder. They wish you passive. They wish you silent. But God entrusts you to speak, to sacrifice, to crush serpents. He calls you to be true to your nature â the one he gave you â and play the man that you are. And that man is not timid, not unassertive, not feeble in the faith: âBe watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men , be strongâ (1 Corinthians 16:13). It cannot be asked of that man, âHow can I get my husband to be less passive?â That man, as C.S. Lewis depicts, goes into battle first and retreats last. He, for truthâs and honorâs sake, âstands fast and suffers long.â God calls you to increasingly be this man, and provides the strength for you to be him when you feel weak. Stand upright, then, be strong, after the true strength and example of Jesus Christ. For your King, your wife, and your future kin.
